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Todd Haley's Days With The Buzzsaw Are Over
The Kansas City Chiefs reportedly offered the feisty offensive coordinator their head coaching job. [KC Star]...

Santonio Holmes Toes Have Also Touched A Nerve
A full-scale battle of the screen-grabs has been waged between Mattoonian Buzzsaw Emeritus and seemingly every Pittsburgh Steelers fan with access to a computer. Even the Politico readers are pissed....

Adult Site Will Compensate Viewers Whose Porn Was Interrupted By Super Bowl
This joke is going to get old very fast, but kudos to the adult film studio Pink Visual for being among the first to think of it....

Your NFL Offseason Throwgasm Breakdown
Drew's Jamboroo runs every Thursday. Buy his book here. Email Drew here. Read him at KSK....

A Cherished Preakness Tradition Is No More
The Maryland Jockey Club is ending the long-standing tradition of spectators bringing their own beer onto the infield at the Preakness Stakes. We like to think we had something to do with that....

FA Cup Gets Its Very Own Heidi Bowl
No one sees Everton's winning overtime goal vs. Liverpool because ITV1 had cut away to a commercial. Viewers not amused. [BBC News]...

Lane Kiffin: Urban Meyer Cheats (And Not Very Well) (Update)
If Lane Kiffin wants to revive Tennessee's rivalry with Florida, stealing two committed players on Signing Day and then publicly accusing the Gators of a recruiting violation is a good way to start....

ESPN Employees Will Pitch In To Help
Last week we showed ESPN president George Bodenheimer's gloomy report about the state of the WWL, which detailed the many changes needed in order for the company to continue making jizzillions of dollars....

TWO FEET DOWN
Steeler Nation sees your one toe and raises you another, Buzzsaw boy. [SteelersDepot]...

Tommy Lasorda Is Not Familiar With Your Fancy Scientific Terms
The Dodgers Triple-A affiliate introduced Tim Wallach as their new manager. First, Lasorda has a couple questions about the team name. [NBC Los Angeles]...

The ESPN.com Headline Writers Know Santonio Holmes Came Up Huge
Oh. It's a story by Football Outsiders' Bill Barnwell about the little things needed to win Super Bowl XLIII. Right. My bad. [ESPN.com]...

Derek Jeter Has Been Meaning To Get To Joe Torre's Book
Derek Jeter, on Joe Torre's book comments about Alex Rodriguez: "We've been down this road before. Alex is a teammate. I support him. Our whole team is behind him. We all support him." [SI]...

Without Eternal Vigilance, It Could Happen Outside Of Your City College Women's Softball Practice
Santa Barbara police arrested a "middle-aged male" for masturbating in the parking lot where the Santa Barbara City College softball team was practicing. Carl Monday is not amused....

Troy Polamalu Once Again Stage Dives Into The Waiting Arms Of Sixburgh's Faithful
Yesterday's Super Bowl parade in Pittsburgh had the usual accoutrements: black and yellow wardrobes, Terrible Towel waving, and obnoxious yelling. But you don't often see a player give back as much as Troy Polamalu....

Canada Would Like To Invite You To The Rugged, Not-Gay World Of Male Figure Skating
Canada is trying to butch up figure skating's image with a controversial new marketing campaign that begins next month, in order to attract more boys to the sport. To which I say: Fabulous!...

Really? You Think It Was Roid Rage, Mr. Torre?
Or was he super-angry because he just had four handfuls of Icy-Hot rubbed on his scrotum? You don't know for sure, Joe. [NYT]...

Hey, Did You And I Just Buy Santonio Holmes A New Cadillac Escalade?
Whatever happened to the tradition of General Motors giving the Super Bowl MVP a new car? It happened; it's just that GM wanted to keep the presentation quiet this year. And for good reason....

Combustible White Girls Get Tossed From Knicks Game For "Keeping It Real"
We've all been at sporting events where some nearby fans get a little out of control. And at last night's Knicks game, things went absurdly awry for one particular group of female attendees....

Young Florida Fan Gets Preview Of College Life
Just guessing, but this is probably exactly how Michael Phelps acted during that South Carolina frat party. (Examines fingers) ... "Is this real life?"...

The God Save The Fan (Paperback Edition) FAQ
Today, the paperback version of God Save The Fan is released to bookstores. There's some stuff that's different than the last version....