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The Onion Sports Network Debuts
Tom Coughlin Retires From Family To Spend More Time With Team”Let’s steam things up.” [Onion Sports Network]...
Mickey Gets A Booth Review
Santonio Holmes visits Disney World. In exchange, Mickey Mouse will be cited and appear in a Pittsburgh court on possession of marijuana charges. [Orlando Sentinel]...
On-Court Drowning Nearly The Most Exciting Highlight Of OKC Thunder Season
If you've even been to a live sporting event in North America, then you've probably seen some terrible halftime entertainment—but that's because so few halftimes involve a death-defying act that actually defies death....
Washington Post Columnist Mines Deadspin Comments, Finds Comedy Gold
From Sally Jenkins' Washington Post column: "A wit named Gourmet Spud posted this sendup of his autobiography on Deadspin: "From Breaststrokes to Breasts-Tokes: How I Spent My Summer Olympics Vacation" by Michael Phelps." [Washington Post]...
CBS Desperate To Make PGA Tournaments More Interesting Until Tiger Comes Back
John Clayton was at the Super Bowl on Sunday, right? Then maybe it was a noisy leather chair. But it appears somebody on the CBS Golf crew ripped one during the FBR Open on Sunday....
Everything Stephen A. Smith Makes Up Is Important!
Stephen A. Smith's latest ESPN "scoop" is being met with catcalls and derision by its subject, Chris Bosh of the Toronto Raptors, and a Toronto Star reporter who called Smith an "entertainer."...
Kobe Scores Madison Square Garden-Record 61 Against, Um, Wait A Minute ...
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]....
That's Just Scott Boras Being Scott Boras
Manny Ramirez turns down Dodgers' offer of $25 million over one season, leaving the door open for ... the Washington Nationals? [The Nationals Enquirer]...
Preston Parker Is Not Lovin' It
Florida State wide receiver Preston Parker was kicked off the team today, following his arrest for DUI on Saturday when he was found asleep in a McDonalds drive-thru lane. [Slow Breaker]...
Ottawa Senators Fire Coach WhatsHisface
It says here that "Craig Hartsburg" has been coaching Ottawa for the last 48 games, but they're just not into him anymore. If only they known that before giving him a three-year contract. [TSN]...
Santonio Holmes: From Dong To Bong To Rabbit Slayer MVP
Anyone who thinks that Michael Phelps' career is somehow over because of one little indiscretion, need look no further than the current hero of the moment, Super Bowl MVP Santonio Holmes....
Andy Kennedy Picked The Wrong City To Punch A Cabbie In
Hey, remember when Mississippi's basketball coach got drunk and (allegedly) hate-crimed a hapless Cincinnati cab driver? That was fun. But now we can relive that wonderful evening thanks to police car camera footage!...
Phelps Is Sorry He Hit That Bong, Dude
Michael Phelps says he regrets doing his impersonation of Brad Pitt in True Romance, and that it will never, ever happen again. I totally believe him*....
(Update) Bonus Comcast Super Bowl Coverage: Porn!
I have Comcast cable, but my subscription doesn't include the "30 Seconds Of Porn During The Super Bowl" package that some viewers in Arizona received. (Now with NSFW image gallery.)...
Tonight, We Are All Buzzsaw
All told, I'm not quite as sad as Sad Vader here. This seems like the only way it could have happened....
Super Bowl XLIII Live Blog: The Battle To Legitimize Already-Printed Merchandise
Whose team will reign supreme? The guys whose fans wave towels or the guys whose state has vowels? Which QB wins: the one who found Christ or whose appendix was sliced?...
And It's Phelps
Well. That's not so bad. But the Brits seem angry at Michael Phelps:...
Joe Torre Can't Figure Out What All The Fuss Is About
"That's what I'd like to think that my reputation is — being honest. I don't really think, it certainly wasn't my intention to shock anybody with stuff in this book." [CNN]...
Brenda Warner Is Quietly Adjusting To Her New Milfyness
Now that Brenda Warner has shed the "wire-haired goblin man" look, her new image has become one of the biggest stories of Super Bowl XLIII....
Buzz Bissinger: Foul-Mouthed Inspiration To Fertile Yale Minds
Surprisingly, he cursed a lot during his lecture: “I would never imagine him as the writer of the story I love." [Yale Daily News]...