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Tyler Thigpen Will Guide The Chiefs To Victory Right After He Finishes Making Gentle Back Door Love To This Skeleton
What better way to kick off your Wednesday evening then to have Chiefs' new starting quarterback Tyler Thigpen mock rear-entering a skeletal model. Maybe Coastal Carolina University had just recently generated enough funding to support a human anatomy class and he was just overly excited. Remember, ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while tailgating before the big ga ... oh man, somebody light a match ... • College football: Kansas State at Louisville (8 p.m., ET). Prince vs. Kragthorpe ... it's on. [ESPN2] • MLB: Milwaukee at Chicago Cubs (8 p.m., ET). Lenny and Squiggy road trip! [ESPN] • Soccer: UEFA Champions ...
Gilbert Arenas Had Knee Surgery (No, You Are Not Experiencing Deja Vu)
Let's play a little game called "What would I do?" First, imagine that you're Washington Wizards owner Abe Pollin. Now assume that you had just given a six-year, $111 million contract — guaranteed money, by the way — to an athlete coming off of two knee surgeries only to find out that he now requir...
Raiders DT Tommy Kelly Celebrates Big Win With DUI
At least the Raiders didn't give Kelly a $50.5 million dollar contract with $18.6 million in guarantees last offseason. That would have been the largest contract in the history of the NFL for a defensive tackle. A defensive tackle who was coming off ACL surgery, only played in 7 games, recorded jus...
Mock The Mohawk At Your Own Peril
Silly? Yes; especially when you consider that manager Joe Maddon is wearing one. But the Rays' new mohawk look seems to have mystical powers; a force that the Boston Red Sox were not able to overcome on Tuesday. The Rays broke free from a virtual tie with Boston atop the standings with a 2-1 win at ...
Clinton Portis and Brian Mitchell Radio Interview Goes Entertainingly Off The Rails
Yesterday, Clinton Portis went on John Thompson's radio show on WTEM 980 in Washington, D.C. and within minutes he and Thompson's co-host, former Redskin/Eagle Brian Mitchell , were at each others throats. B. Mitch has been critical of Portis in the past, which prompted the feud, and the DC Sports ...
Tribune Kills Mariotti Talks As A Thankful Populace Rejoices
Attention, residents of Chicago: Jay Mariotti will not be coming to the Tribune. We repeat: Will NOT be employed there. This is official. (Wary citizens emerge from concrete bunkers, shielding eyes from the sun as "all clear" siren sounds). Although he proved as hard to kill as the evil robot in Ter...
McCain On Sports Center, Cooley On PTI And Reilly On Manny
Each weekday morning Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed from the night before. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see with your coffee, shoot him an e-mail and let him know....
Curt Schilling Puts the Moves on Cindy McCain?
Everyone knows that Curt Schilling loves John McCain. But can the Republican presidential nominee trust the Red Sox pitcher when it comes to something much more important than an election...his wife? At a recent charity event, Curt Schilling confused Cindy McCain with his wife and held hands with h...
Ryder Cup Has A Funny Definition Of The Word 'Volunteer'
So Ryder Cup officials were sitting around one day wondering, "Hey, how can we get people to work for us at our tournament, and have them pay us to do it?" Amazingly, they figured out a way. Cash-strapped golf fanatics who want to circumvent normal ticket prices — which can run around $1,000 — can p...
Florida's Percy Harvin Is Healthy...Hasn't Felt This Good Since 10th Grade
I'm ashamed to admit I've been following the tribulations of Percy Harvin and his heel way too closely. Hoping against hope that he'd be too dinged up early in the season to play against my Vols. Up until recently the enigmatic health situation of Harvin seemed promising, maybe he would be slowed a...
Universe Rights Itself, Soon Should Be Completely Normal
Like in the Michael Douglas film Falling Down, Joe Maddon is wearing a short-sleeved dress shirt and demanding breakfast at McDonald's, even though its past 11:30. Sorry Joe. We're back where we were in July 24; the Red Sox and Rays, tied for first in the East. Only this time Boston clearly has mome...
Seriously, Did Tony Kornheiser Have Electroshock Therapy Before The Game Last Night?
Everything about the man seemed a bit ... off. From his wacky hair, to his glibness, to his bad jokes, to his worshipful Dallas Cowboy comments. And, of course, there was the odd apology he threw out there, after making this remark: ...
David Foster Wallace, The St. Louis Rams And You
Before we get started, I'd like to say something about David Foster Wallace. David Foster Wallace, Illinois' own, is the best writer I've ever read who I found completely unreadable. I don't mean his non-fiction stuff that had the benefit of editors who, strangely, had a desire for people who read ...
Who's Sorry Now? Chris Cooley Edition
The nation is still buzzing over Wienergate; when Redskins tight end Chris Cooley posted a naked photo of himself — including shlong — on his personal blog over the weekend. This has caused much consternation at Clan Cooley; the photo was removed late Sunday, and now Chris has issued a mea culpa. It...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you get your baseball scores from your toast ... • NFL: Philadelphia at Dallas (8:30 p.m., ET). Jerry Jones starts the motor that retracts his facelift at 7:30. [ESPN] • MLB: Mets at Nationals (7:10 p.m., ET). Will Mets losses stack up like empty beer cups on a sleeping fan's head? ...
Deadspin's Best and Brightest Speak Out Against Lazy Commenting
To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, Commenting Guru Rob Iracane will write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week. Mr. Iracane, co-proprietor of the brilliant Walkoff Walk , is also the guy who approves comments a...
Four More Years
Michael Bertin writes about soccer regularly for Deadspin. I'm big into self-preservation, so if I'm in the path of a hurricane—which having been temporarily relocated to Houston, I am (or was)—it's not going to take much cable news fear-mongering to get me to evacuate. And that's the story of how I...
Chris Cooley's Accidental Nude Blogging Causes Stress For Cooley Family, Inc.
I'm not big on saving too many text messages, but the one I received at 9:02 p.m. last evening while sitting in a Chili's in Hermosa Beach will probably be archived for eternity:"Hey, it's Tanner Cooley. I need to talk to you about my brother's cock picture on the site. Call me." Yesterday when KOGO...
College Football Roundup: Charlie Weis Is Broken
After a week of piddling interest, college football returned with a vengeance. Before I get rolling with 11 observations on the weekend that was, let me take this opportunity to get this before the jump. Our fearless editor is going to have a full-report from OSU-USC, but let's just say it now, can...