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Zambrano's No No, The Broncos Get A Gift And More Week Two NFL Highlights
Each weekday morning Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed from the night before. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see with your coffee, shoot him an e-mail and let him know....

Ball Sports Or That Prick Ari
What to watch while listening to girls talk, and talk, and talk... • MLB: Brewers @ Phillies (7:35 pm ET) [MLB.tv] — With a win tonight as part of a day-night double header, the Phils can complete a four game sweep of Milwaukee and move into a tie with the Brewers for the NL Wild Card spot. • NFL: P...

Cooley Exposed More Than His Playbook
Chris Cooley, a friend of the bloggers as well as an accomplished blogger in his own right, had a nice day on the field today, but I don't think that's what people are going to remember come tomorrow. Earlier today Chris posted on his official blog about a fun section of the playbook that Jim Zorn ...

Jessica Simpson Entertains Phoenix Baseball Fans, Car Wreck Aficionados
We may have had a bit of fun in our last visit with the notion that Jessica Simpson's opening act is Randy Johnson. However, we felt that perhaps we hadn't given the matter the proper respect it deserves. After all, a number of important and wealthy people knowledgeable about their industries determ...

Pole Dancing: The Next Olympic Sport?
One of the major concerns of the IOC over the past few years has been how to garner interest in the Olympics among today's youth. There's been a trend to try and make Olympic sports a bit edgier. For instance, BMX racing and Snowboarding are now featured and there's been some discussion around skate...

OMG LT Is Down (Maybe)! Begin Looting Now!
Your Sunday morning NFL headlines to adjust your line... up of food for: • LaDainian Tomlinson's owie toe may keep him off the field (or, you know, not) for the Chargers' attempt to topple Denver down to sea level. Regardless, we require six in-depth profiles of his backups by Monday morning. After ...

Ike Wreaks Havoc With Baseball Playoff Races, Scheduling
The NFL isn’t the only league effected by that bastard Ike as the Astros and Major League Baseball have agreed to move two of Houston’s canceled home games that were scheduled against the Cubs this weekend to a “neutral” site in Milwaukee. Eddie Wade’s Astros have been on fire over the past three we...

Michael Phelps Outshone By Tina Fey in Quest for Comedic Gold
When Michael Phelps took center stage in Beijing, he dominated the competition in the pool over and over. His ability to step up at the Olympics, on the biggest stage of his sport, was unprecedented. But when he took the stage last night in New York as host of NBC’s Saturday Night Live, it was clear...

Nuts v. Contraceptives: #5 Ohio State-#1 USC
Actually, the Southern California Trojans have already won this game by 24 points, but the NCAA by-laws dictate they have to go ahead and play the game anyway. Everybody important is at the game, except you. And, well, me. So let's get through this impending Buckeyes massacre together, shall we? Oh,...

To Watch Tonight: Now That You're Gone (to Watch Television)
What to watch while questioning the relevance of the 1980s yet again... • College Football: Ohio State at USC (8 pm ET) [ABC] - We received a link today asking why the Buckeyes were hated so much because the line shows them to be rather large underdogs, suggesting various conspiracy theories. Here's...

Liverpool Stuns Manchester, Chelsea Wins Billionaire Boys Club Derby
Rafa Benitez has finally secured his first triumph over Manchester United in over six years with Liverpool's 2-1 victory this morning at Anfield. Despite surrendering an early goal, and playing without Fernando Torres, the home side pulled off the unexpected result on Ryan Babel's 77th minute game ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after the court stenographer reads back the dog's testimony ... • Kansas at South Florida (8 p.m., ET). Go Bulls! [ESPN2] • MLB: Tampa Bay at New York Yankees (7 p.m., ET). We welcome our new filter-feeding overlords. [ESPN] • Golf: Nationwide Tour, Albertsons Boise Open, second round ...

Erin Andrews Is an Objective Journalist When it Comes To Her Gator Love
Erin Andrews, who now seems to live at the nexus of hotness and controversy in the world of sports (previous resident Anna Kournikova), is angered by suggestions that she shows favoritism for the Gators. The latest flareup arose when internet rumors spread that Andrews flipped off several Miami fans...

I Don't Care What They Say I Can't Stay In A World Without Tom ... Or Can I?
Once upon a time, a site called The Black Table had a regular feature entitled Waxing Off, in which women gathered in an online roundtable to discuss issues of the day, and also to make fun of Will Leitch's shoes. And so we got to thinking: With so many great female sports bloggers out there, why no...

Tony Kornheiser's Got a Stalker!
At least that's the claim that several notorious bastions of journalistic legitimacy are making.The scene: ESPN garage. The crime: Tony Kornheiser's car is stolen. The reason: TK's being stalked. Now, every Kornheiser story hasn't been legitimate around these here internet parts, but with his recent...

Florida Protests Obnoxious Label By Being Obnoxious
Responding to last week's Fox Sports poll which listed both Florida and Florida State among the nation's "top 10 most obnoxious fan bases," FLSportsFan.com is calling for a boycott, and um, other stuff which they haven't really though out yet. But they'll get to it! Good thing they've forgotten abou...

Vince Is Fine, UNC Runs Over Rutgers And Marshawn On Marshawn
Each weekday morning Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed from the night before. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see with your coffee, shoot him an e-mail and let him know....

Mariotti To Tribune Apparently Just A Matter Of When, Not If
Get ready Chicagoland, your Jay is back. Jay Mariotti to the Chicago Tribune! Let those words luxuriate on your tongue for a moment. At least that's the word according to two of our sources, one of whom is quite close to the situation. Tribune higher-ups — and by that I mean higher than the editoria...

A Night Out With Linda Cohn
The first thing you notice about Linda Cohn is the voice. It's a definitive Long Island accent that is so pronounced it sounds like someone doing a bad Long Island accent impersonation. "Coffee Talk" in the flesh. And she laughs a lot. A giddy, crazy laugh that ‘s a bit jarring. We met in the lobby ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after discovering that Oxford University has proven that beer goggles are real ... • College football: North Carolina at Rutgers (7:30 p.m., ET). Greg Schiano faces former mentor Butch Davis. The Punchout in Piscataway! [ESPN] • High School Football: Rider (Texas) at Sulphur Springs (T...