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Bobblection Week 2008: They Bobble, You Decide
Although the bobblehead craze has pretty much swept the globe, countries generally do not use them to select their leaders; well, except for Spain. But perhaps they should. In 2004, a series of Minor League Baseball bobblehead promotions correctly predicted the U.S. Presidential Election, when other...

How Many Cheerleaders Can a University of Texas Elevator Hold?
If you said 26, you're the big winner. Spirit fingers all around. Y'all rock. Only, it seems when you get 26 cheerleaders into one elevator, the elevator stops working. And then cheerleaders start to pass out. Which sort of impacts the fun. How much do you want to bet that when the girls got out, th...

The Questionable Madness Of Shawn Andrews
Shawn Andrews has always been a different type of guy. The line on him through most reporters is this: he's got his quirks, but he's a helluva football player and a really decent human being. Often times he's described as child-like (his nickname is the "Big Kid" after all, and he has a room in his ...

New Battle Cry In The Yankees-Red Sox Rivalry: You Are Hereby Served
A feud that broke out at Yankee Stadium last year between a group of Yankees fans and a Red Sox fan is being resolved in old-school fashion; with the Red Sox fan taking the issue to court. Wait, what? You heard that right, you Bronx ruffians. Let that be a lesson to you. ...

Who Are The Packaneers?, Beer Olympics And The Mustache Institute
Each weekday morning Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed from the night before. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see with your coffee, shoot him an e-mail and let him know....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after handling your sauce emergency ... • Men's Basketball: USA vs. Australia, at Shanghai (8 p.m., ET, taped). Please do not reveal the dramatic result. [ESPN2] • MLB: Padres at Mets (7:10 p.m., ET). Mr. Met is tingly with pennant fever. [SNY] [Ch. 4 Padres] • World Extreme Cagefighti...

Infiltrating The USA/Russia Basketball Game For Fun And Profit
The Olympics begin Friday, and they're in China, so, you know, it should be a rather fascinating world event, if you're into fascinating world events. And we are proud to welcome back our Deadspin Beijing Bureau, our own trio of correspondents living in China and reporting on everything they see, Ol...

Jimmy Clausen's Drinking Game Prowess Prompts Investigation By Notre Dame
Jimmy Clausen is the starting quarterback for Notre Dame. Last year he, along with the entire team, had a horrible season. Which was disappointing because Clausen, the nation's consensus top quarterback, committed to Notre Dame in such an understated fashion: By pulling up in a limo to the College ...

The Brewers Imploding Late In The Season? That's Odd
Well, it's the first week in August; time for the annual scuffle that marks the beginning of the end for the Milwaukee Brewers. Last year it was manager Ed Yost and catcher Johnny Estrada going at it. And one year later almost to the day, Prince Fielder pounces on pitcher Manny Parra in the dugout a...

The Packers Cancel A Meeting, The Brewers Get Testy And Reilly STILL Isn't Funny
Each weekday morning Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed from the night before. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see with your coffee, shoot him an e-mail and let him know....

Jessica Simpson Is Webcam Stripping For Tony Romo During Training Camp
Because otherwise he gets lonely. At least according to the always reliable Sun newspaper. Do you think Nick Lachey is more jealous of Tony Romo than he is of his ex-wife? I sort of do. I'm picturing Lachey reading this and thinking, "Damn, that could have been me on the webcam with Tony." Anyway, ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after turning your cat gay ... • MLB: Houston at Chicago Cubs (7 p.m., ET) Return of Kerry Wood looms. [ESPN] • Cheap Seats: Wide World of Sports. (11 p.m., ET). The segment that won six Cheapy Awards. [ESPN Classic] • American Gladiators: (8 p.m., 7 p.m. CT). Yeah, I drive to work in ...

The Women's Guide To The Insults Of Idiots
To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, we've commissioned Commenting Guru Rob Iracane to write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week. Mr. Iracane is the guy who approves comments around here, and the fellow to whom ...

Olympic Athletes Are Even More Fascinating Than You Thought
As you might have heard, the Olympics begin on Friday, and, as Bob Costas and NBC will be eager to relentlessly pound into your brain, these are American Olympic Heroes we'll be watching on 12-hour time delays. These are not the run-of-the-mill money-grubbing professional athletes we have become ac...

The Erin Andrews Floozy-Dress Mess Gets Dissected From All Angles
When the Minneapolis Star Tribune's Michael "Randball" Rand got Erin Andrews to discuss her thoughts on the infamous Mike Nadel column, not only was it a great get for him, but it also showed a testier, more defensive side of EA. "I think my overall reaction is that it's really sad that in 2008 … I ...

And Now It's Time To Pretend Like The Last Four Months Didn't Happen
According to one prominent NFL reporter, the scenario of Brett Favre showing up to Packer camp (highly unlikely at the time) would be the equivalent of an "atomic bomb" going off in Green Bay. Favre's ghost and public spectacle were wearing thin on some of the Packer faithful as they attempted to tr...

Favre's Plane Ride, Fun With Poetry And Art Monk
Each weekday morning Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed from the night before. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see with your coffee, shoot him an e-mail and let him know....

Pro Football Hall of Fame Game Live Blog
All right, football zealots. Finally, a televised NFL game (for lack of a better word). It's the Indianapolis Colts and the Washington Redskins. John Madden has been dipped in bronze gravy for this joyous occasion, and Al Michaels will be sitting on his knee. Before you follow along after the J-M-P,...

Much, Much More Trouble for 'Rampage' Jackson
Terribly sad news in light of MMA star Quinton "Rampage" Jackson's arrest from a couple of weeks ago. You might recall, "Rampage" was taken into custody for driving recklessly and striking several vehicles in the process. After his arrest, no drugs or alcohol were found in his system, and police rel...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after reigning triumphant in the cell phone throwing contest ... • Boxing: Super middleweights, Jean Pascal vs. Fulgencio Zuniga, at Montreal (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN2]; Junior middleweights, Pawel Wolak vs. Ishe Smith; lightweights, Jorge Teron vs. Michael Lozada, at New York (11 p.m., same...