to Page 2194 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
On The DL: That Drunk, Impregnating Farnsworth
It's time for installment No. 2 of our three-part series revealing the athletes behind some of On The DL's blind-items. Last week, we found out that the ladies say Cubs second baseman Todd Walker loves to flash his wedding ring at strip clubs. Today's blind item: I'm Ok, I sWaRe...:...
The Minimum Wage Of The Newark Bears
We've had a grand time this morning flipping through the newest issue of New York magazine and its Salary Issue. Essentially, it looks at all different fields and examines how salaries compare to each other, and sports is one of its most entertaining entires. We have our doubts about a few of the ...
NFL Roundup: Daunte's Blues
• If you somehow were able to make an emotionless, painless robot clone of Bea Arthur, and you pounded that clone in the face with a polo mallet for 25 minutes, then slammed that head in a car door 15 times, then severed the head with an exceptionally long and sharp toenail, then put the head in a...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while in the tub reenacting the battle of the Monitor and the Merrimack ... • MLB: Bonds hits 705th homer, is ordered to stitch actual asterisk to his uniform. • NFL: Brady's late-night carousing catches up to him in Patriots' loss to Panthers. • PGA: Some guy named Jason Gore wins s...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as Michael Moore sneaks in the back door and raids your fridge ... • MLB: A's at Red Sox. If you notice the Yankees getting larger, that's because they're only 1 1/2 games back. [ESPN] • When golf and women collide: LPGA John Q Hammons Hotel Classic. [The Golf Channel] • Contributing t...
Leftovers: Take This Job And Shove It
• There is nothing more dangerous than an angry man in compression shorts: Lance Armstrong re-retires. [Instant Punditry] • Kim Clijsters' coach quits, perhaps in a huff, we're not sure. [tennisace] • Fantasy Prison Camp: Former Braves pitcher sent to the Gray Bar Hotel. [Atlanta Journal-Constitutio...
On The DL: Athletes Unmasked!
So we've been talking for the last couple of days to the people at On The DL, the blind item sports gossip site that claims to have inside info on the cheating ways of countless Major League Baseball players. We initially had some doubts about their verisimilitude, and even though we still advise ...
LaRussa: No Celebration For You!
Last night, the St. Louis Cardinals became the first team to win their division with a 6-1 victory over the rival Chicago Cubs. It is the Cardinals' second consecutive NL Central title, and their fifth in the last six years. After a long, grinding season, one would expect the Cardinals to break ou...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while prying Tom Brady's clammy mitts off of your girlfriend ... • Small Ball: Aaron Small goes to 8-0 as Yankees creep to with 1 1/2 of Red Sox. • Going Frog Wild: TCU snaps Utah's 18-game football win streak. • Cardinals clinch playoffs, prepare to sit at top of dugout railing and ...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as, somewhere out there, Russell Crowe is beating up a guy ... • College FB: Utah at TCU. Yeah, we're wearing a Horned Frogs beer helmet. What of it? • WNBA Finals: Sacramento at Connecticut. Quick, what are the two team nicknames? Oh, time's up. • MLB: Marlins at Astros. Andy Pettitte...
Leftovers: But Is It Art?
• Sculptor makes shrine to Ted Williams' head. [MSN Sports Filter] • ChiSox manager Ozzie Guillen tactfully implies that one of his pitchers may be a lousy goldbricking faker. [ChiSox Rants] • Thanks for almost playing: Falcons' Kevin Mathis now out for the season. [Our Turn Next] • Help out a Patri...
Calling Mom For Domestic Backup
Some more updates on the domestic abuse allegations against notoriously angry Dodgers outfielder Milton Bradley. The Daily Breeze reviewed the 911 calls that started the whole allegations, and apparently, it was in fact Bradley who made the calls in order to calm down his "crazy" wife....
Tom Brady Loves Him Some Olsen Twin
Our big sister — and by "big sister," we mean "woman who wears shoulder pads" — reported yesterday that Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, in New York City for something called "Fashion Week," was sucking face with a bunch of women who did not star in I, Robot. Quoth a tipster:...
The 15-Minute Home Run Trot
Craziest play in the Red Sox-Blue Jays game last night. Red Sox outfielder Gabe Kapler — beloved by gays and Jews alike! — tore his Achilles rounding second base on Tony Graffanino's home run, and he couldn't move. Graffanino stopped behind Kapler and waited, and, surprisingly (to us), the umpires...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as your children file for emancipation ... • MLB: Yankees at Devil Rays. Yanks try to win a series, finally, over last-place Tampa Bay. • WNBA Finals: Sacramento Monarchs vs. Connecticut Sun. Admit it, you're pumped. • MLB: Brewers at Diamondbacks. Milwaukee (72-72, NL Central) 20 game...
Leftovers: P.S., I Love You
• OSU tight end Ryan Hamby receives hate mail, drops it. [Around the Oval] • Rams exec leaves threatening phone message on columnist's voice mail. We love stories like that. [STL Today • Bill Simmons finally acknowledges that he works for the same company as Mario Lopez. [Sports Guy's World] • The D...
Marvel: No Road Rage Here
Earlier, we reported — as much as we "report" anything — that ESPN.com "executive editor" John Marvel had left/been forced out of ESPN after an incident in the ESPN parking lot. Marvel apparently has his Finger On The Pulse Of The Sports World, because he saw the item and wanted to clarify some ma...
Blogdome: The NCAA Can Screw Up Anything
• If there's a way to rectify a wrong by screwing over a student-athlete, rest assured that the NCAA will find it. [The Sports Frog] • Some excuses Rafael Palmeiro didn't come up with. [Zulkey] • It's bad enough that the Mets have collapsed. But do fans have to watch Jose Offerman too? Come on, that...
Executive Editor Bounced From ESPN.com
Do you know this man? His name is John Marvel, and he was vice president and executive editor of ESPN.com until very, very recently. But now the Bristol folks have canned him/asked him to resign, and a reliable tipster tells us it's because of what they're calling a "road rage incident in the ESPN...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as aggressive Jehovah's Witnesses surround the house and lob in The Watchtower ... • MLB: Yankees at Devil Rays. Tampa Bay only 24 1/2 games out, and Yanks might as well be. • MLS: D.C. United at Dallas. Because domestic soccer is your life (sad, really). • MLB: Pirates at Cardinals. C...