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Apologies To This Hockey Child, But I Am His Mother Now
Whether or not to have a child is a complicated and morally questionable decision that each person must weigh carefully. It is a difficult question for most people except for me, because I have decided to adopt this small hockey boy and love him forever. ...
Kyle Shanahan Is Really Going To Enjoy Kicking The Shit Out Of The Skins
San Francisco 49ers head coach Kyle Shanahan was Washington’s offensive coordinator from from 2010–2013. I would say he got to experience one of the darkest eras of D.C. football, but they are all dark. Now he’s the coach of a 5-0 team preparing to take on the 1-5 Skins this weekend, so you can’t bl...
Cops: Alabama Student Made False Bomb Threat In Order To Stop LSU-Florida Game So His Friend Wouldn't Lose Bet
Alabama freshman Connor Bruce Croll was arrested in Tuscaloosa on Sunday morning after cops say he called in a false bomb threat to LSU’s Tiger Stadium. According to the police, Croll did so because he wanted to get the game canceled and save his friend a bunch of money....
Nationals Complete Sweep Of Cardinals, Nanny Nanny Boo Boo
The Washington Nationals completed their four-game NLCS sweep of the St. Louis Cardinals Tuesday night, 7–4, and advanced to the franchise’s first World Series. They did it with a seven-run first inning, and then mostly held on for dear life, but they had a bunch of help from the Cardinals themselve...
This Is Just Some Delightful Baserunning From The Astros
The Houston Astros doubled their lead against the Yankees in the seventh inning of Game 3 this evening, not with the fancy-pants longballs that initially gave them a 2-0 advantage, but with some gritty, scrappy, heads-up baserunning that was unironically delightful to watch. Through just one hit and...
Who Does Los Angeles's Olympic Legacy Really Serve?
LOS ANGELES — The LA84 Foundation is turning 35 years old. If you don’t live in Southern California or don’t work in the sports nonprofit industrial complex, you probably haven’t heard of it. But the foundation commands a reverence from a certain set of LA normie (read: suburban homeowners), and has...
Enes Kanter Appears To Take Shot At LeBron James's China Comments, Says "Freedom Is Not Free"
On the most generous possible read, the NBA-China news cycle has revealed just how little players and coaches have ever considered the ethical stakes of doing business with an authoritarian state. The more cynical read is that they understand these stakes well enough but have decided there’s way to...
Stephen Strasburg's Teammates Must Keep Hugging Him Until His Icy Heart Melts
Stephen Strasburg kicked ass last night, striking out 12 Cardinals hitters in seven innings of work and leading his team to an 8-1 Game 3 victory. As you can see in the image above, all that hard work was repaid when he entered the dugout after recording his final out of the night and received a gro...
Juan Soto's Goof In Left Was High Comedy, But Marcell Ozuna's Mattered
For my money, the two best highlights of the Nationals’ 8–1 Game 3 win over the St. Louis Cardinals, a result that makes the rest of this series almost a formality, were bloopers. One looked stupid and hilarious and mattered not at all; the other almost looked like a very cool catch, until it didn’t...
Ah, Damn, Brad Marchand Actually Did A Frickin' Cool Thing
It’s easy to lose sight of this fact amid the rabbit punches and cup checks and compulsive licking and stick-breaking and general dickishness, but veteran Bruins winger Brad Marchand is really freaking good at hockey. He showed that in part by getting a couple of assists in Boston’s afternoon win ag...
Patrick Mahomes's First Pick Of The Season Happened After A Bizarre, Sketchy Officiating Decision
With the Kansas City Chiefs leading the Texans by a touchdown in the second quarter of Sunday’s game, quarterback Patrick Mahomes drove his team to the edge of the red zone, only to throw it to Houston safety Tashaun Gipson in the end zone. However, officials flagged cornerback Lonnie Johnson Jr. fo...
Gary Sanchez's Bizarre 11th-Inning At-Bat Was Pure Postseason Chaos
When Gary Sanchez came to the plate in the top of the 11th for the Yankees, with the score tied at two and runners on first and second with two outs, it felt like a safe bet the slumping New York catcher was either going to smash a three-run shot or strike out horrifically against Astros reliever Jo...
Carlos Correa Left His Body After His Walk-Off Homer
Carlos Correa hadn’t gotten that many opportunities to celebrate this year. The Astros’ young shortstop, who struggled last season to build upon a fantastic 2017, missed over half of this season with a broken rib and then a back problem. And though he was a powerful hitter when he was healthy enough...
Dolphins Win Barf Bowl, Lose To Washington In Final Seconds
So far this season the Miami Dolphins had looked unstoppable on their way to a No. 1 draft pick and Tua Tagovailoa. But their tank rumbled over a potential minefield on Sunday: a matchup with Washington, one of a small handful of teams that might be nearly as bad as the Dolphins, and the only team t...
Don't You Dare Try To Take Adrian Peterson's Touches Away From Him
For all the turmoil there’s been around the Washington football team, it was nice to see a brief moment of firm communication between two teammates in Miami on Sunday. On a second-and-5 from his team’s 35-yard line, quarterback Case Keenum tried to switch the play to something else, yelling “kill ki...
The Turnover King Has Returned
Jameis Winston is back, folks. After four straight games of relatively competent quarterbacking, Winston displayed a strong return to form in London against the Panthers on Sunday. He finished the game completing 30 of his 54 throws and 400 yards, but with five interceptions and a fumble....
Arena "Upgrade" Means Pathetic Legroom For Boston Fans
The Garden, home to the Bruins and Celtics, underwent a major renovation this summer that promised to “redefine” the fan experience. I suppose that’s one way to put what actually happened: To make more money, the arena crammed in hundreds of additional seats, and fans’ knees are suffering for it....
Juan Soto And Miles Mikolas Swear The Crotch-Grabbing Antics Are All In Good Fun
It was only a matter of time before a pitcher decided to respond to Juan Soto for, well, being Juan Soto. In the top of the fifth, after forcing the 20-year-old Nationals stud to ground out, Cardinals pitcher Miles Mikolas looked over at Washington’s dugout as Soto trotted over and aggressively grab...
Even Aníbal Sánchez Started To Believe He Had His No-Hitter Secured
With the Nationals’ postseason demons exorcised, and the team now navigating uncharted playoff territory, it seemed only right that this anything-is-possible type of magic carried over into specific areas of the team to elevate certain players. Still, as Washington and St. Louis entered the bottom o...