to Page 896 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Idiot On The Golf Course Gets Naked, Hops In Bunker, Throws Sand
A streaker fully embraced the Phoenix Open’s reputation as the most laidback event in golf by running on the course, doing some basic tumbling, jumping in a sand trap, and generally being an idiot during today’s pre-tournament pro-am. In all his naked glory:...
Report: West Ham Director Doesn't Want African Players Because They "Cause Mayhem"
After being confronted with leaked emails in which he advocated against signing a Senegalese player, West Ham’s director of player recruitment Tony Henry admitted to the Daily Mail that the club does not want to sign any more African players....
Fancy Dog Tom Brady Says He Was Once Bitten By Pooch After Unintentional Display Of Dominance
Tom Brady, who has previously been revealed as a fancy dog by this very website, told a story today in which he outlined one of the primary dangers a fancy dog faces in today’s world: unwanted attention from a mean dog....
Victims Continue To Call Out Larry Nassar's Enablers At Sentencing Hearing
One week after being sentenced to 40 to 175 years in prison by Ingham County Judge Rosemarie Aquilina, Larry Nassar appeared in an Eaton County court room today for another sentencing hearing. Nassar pleaded guilty to three counts criminal sexual conduct in November, all of which took place between...
Kirk Cousins Is About To Get <i>Paid</i>, But By Whom?
Last night’s megatrade that will send Alex Smith to Washington ensures that this offseason is almost certain to feature that rarest of NFL species: an experienced starting quarterback venturing into unrestricted free agency. Brace yourself, gentle reader: We live in a world in which Kirk Cousins wil...
Cops Closed 2004 Case After Larry Nassar Said What He Did Was Medical Treatment
All Larry Nassar had to do to get investigators off his case in 2004 was say he was doing medical treatment, according to police documents released by Meridian Township police. The reports, released today, catalogue the steps police took when Brianne Randall (now Brianne Randall-Gay) came to them wi...
Washington Safety D.J. Swearinger Is Pissed About His Teammate Being Traded
Washington and Kansas City are reportedly set to pull off something of a blockbuster trade, with the Chiefs sending quarterback Alex Smith to D.C. in exchange for a third-round draft pick and cornerback Kendall Fuller. Upon learning that Fuller was included in the deal, Skins safety D.J. Swearinger’...
Arsenal Are Having A Shockingly Great Transfer Deadline Day
Well, well, would you look at that. Ol’ Arsène had an ace up his sleeve after all, and Arsenal have locked in two players on this transfer deadline day who will give Gooners everywhere something to cheer for once and, even more importantly, some much needed hope....
Bernard Tomic Pooped Out Of A Reality Show And Might Be Motivated To Play Tennis Again
After only two days on Australia’s Survivor-like reality TV show called I’m a Celebrity ... Get Me Outta Here!, 25-year-old tennis player Bernard Tomic, Australian’s non-Kyrgios bad boy who’s best known for tanking matches and acting like a jerk, quit the show saying it made him depressed and that h...
The Hurricanes Are Finally Ready To Embrace Their Hartford Whaler Past
Here’s a familiar song in an unfamiliar setting:...
James Harden Could Not Be Stopped Tonight
There are several ways to express that James Harden’s performance tonight was historic—a personal high score, a franchise high score, the first 60-point triple-double in NBA history—but there’s maybe nothing that’s quite so impressive as just looking at the stat line itself:...
Report: Chiefs Will Trade Alex Smith To Washington
According to the Kansas City Star, the Kansas City Chiefs have reached an agreement to trade longtime starting quarterback Alex Smith to Washington, freeing the Chiefs from a $17 million cap hit....
Roger Goodell Assures Everyone Washington Football Team Will Remain Racist Despite Chief Wahoo Removal
After the Cleveland Indians announced that they’ll be taking Chief Wahoo off of team uniforms by 2019, the Washington NFL team naturally drew scrutiny. Would they follow suit and ditch their comically racist name for something more palatable, or at least scrub their logo for something more neutral?...
Reading Product Plugs From Joshua Tree Helped Me Understand My Industry's Twisted Heart<em></em>
In November, Uproxx editorial director of music Caitlin White published “Breaking Up In Joshua Tree Helped Me Understand My Own Twisted Heart,” originally under the third-person headline “A Writer Finds Loss And Rebirth In A Road Trip To Joshua Tree.” The post was a true original, alternating intens...
Bumbling Package Thief Injures Leg, Is Rescued By Getaway Driver In Russell Wilson Jersey<em></em>
Stealing packages seems like a scummy, straightforward two-person operation: One briskly walks up to the house, while the other keeps the car running. This one on Friday quickly fell apart due to an unforeseen variable: wet grass....
Baseball Executive Kevin Towers Dead At 56 Of Thyroid Cancer
Former Padres and Diamondbacks general manager Kevin Towers died Tuesday morning of thyroid cancer, which he was diagnosed with in late 2016. Towers was known as a popular and insightful executive, first entering the front office ranks as a scout before he became the Padres’ GM in 1995....
John Wall Broken, Wizards Dead, Universe Empty
Washington Wizards guard John Wall will miss six to eight weeks for a “procedure to clean up” his sore left knee, the one that has now been interfering with his career on a dismally regular basis since at least as far back as 2012. In related news [long anguished scream, tapering away to silence]....
Boston Is So Embarrassing
By now you are surely aware of the fact that WEEI host Alex Reimer was suspended indefinitely after saying Tom Brady’s daughter was being an “annoying little pissant” in a scene of the first episode of Brady’s new Facebook reality show. He caught the ire of Brady, who went on WEEI and implied that R...
Oh Shit, The Clippers Traded Blake Griffin To Detroit
Blake Griffin will soon have a harder time getting guest appearances on Comedy Central shows, because according to Adrian Wojnarowski, the Clippers have traded Griffin to the Detroit Pistons in exchange for Tobias Harris, Avery Bradley, Boban Marjanovic, and a pair of picks....
A List Of People Accused Of Enabling Larry Nassar
Former USA Gymnastics and Michigan State doctor Larry Nassar was sentenced to 40 to 175 years in prison last week for 10 counts of first-degree criminal sexual conduct. Nassar was the only person sentenced, but dozens of other people have been accused of helping him perpetrate decades of child sexua...