tony Page 49 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

What Are You Going To Do, Charge Lindsey Vonn With Smoking?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Eva Longoria Divorces Tony Parker Over Affair With Brent Barry's Wife, Reports Guy From <em>Saved By The Bell</em> And Other Journalists
So Longoria split from Tony Parker, and there are rumors of a fling with a teammate's wife. We're confident running with this, because it's being reported by some of the top names in sports media....

Tony Parker's And Eva Longoria's Bland Fairytale Comes To An End
Parker filed for divorce yesterday from his wife of three years. Spurs games just became less interesting, if that's possible. [TMZ]...

Here Are Some Photos Of People Pretending To Be Injured Tony Romo
It's funny because the Dallas Cowboys are already 1-5. (And because there are some Favre/Sterger pics coming up soon.) ...

Romo's Injury Flips The Script, To The Secret Delight Of Cowboys Fans
With Michael Boley's spear, the narrative for the entire Cowboys season changed. And while it won't save Wade Phillips' job, it will allow Dallas fans to coast through another season and offseason of self-delusion....

Tony Romo Is Probably Done For The Season
Romo broke his left collarbone in the second quarter against the Giants tonight after taking a hit from Michael Boley. The Cowboys are 1-4 and are now down 38-20 in the fourth quarter. Okay, Jon Kitna. It's all yours....

Rick Pitino Screws Common Decency On A Restaurant Floor, So To Speak
Louisville has offered a scholarship to former Wake Forest center Tony Woods, last seen fracturing his girlfriend's spine. You can rest assured Rick Pitino will find a way to compare this to 9/11. [The Dagger]...

Tony Gwynn Has Cancer, Blames Chewing Tobacco
Hall of Famer Tony Gwynn is about to start radiation and chemo for parotid cancer discovered last month. He says the doctors told him "they feel they caught the cancer early and there was not much of it there."...

NYC Already Planning Yankees World Series Parade
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Tony Dungy Still Furiously Beatifying Himself
Coach Moral Compass checks in on the Braylon Edwards situation and says, approximately, "If I'm Rex Ryan, I light the collective bargaining agreement on fire and blow my nose with the Wagner Act." [Larry Brown Sports]...

Albert Haynesworth: I'm Not "A Slave Or Whatever" to Redskins
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Here's A Video Of Tony Kornheiser Teaching Bill Simmons How To Wear A Tie
The Sports Fella's hosting PTI for the rest of the week, so it looks like we'll be watching PTI this week. There you go, indeed, Tony. H/T Trey Kerby....

Analyst: Cardinals Quit With "Poopy in their Pants" and "Skid Marks in Their Britches"
Former St. Louis Cardinals outfielder, and current team anaylst, Jack "The Ripper" Clark has grown tired with the home nine's lack of effort. He isn't content just to mention that they're "quitters," though. He gets all diagnosis-y with it....

The Risk You Run When You Try To Become An Oyster-Eating Champion
Meet Ken Orndoff of Hoover, Ala. When he wanted to set a record and heard a local fish food place wanted to show its Gulf oysters were fresh, something clicked. Plus, there was $25 on the line....

Boston Columnist Doth Question White Jesus' Free Ride, Pre-Kickoff Smiting Expected
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Tony Dungy Is An Insufferable Shit
"If I'm Reggie Bush, I give back the trophy," Tony Dungy said yesterday in his capacity as football's freelance moral compass. This is all he does anymore: intone some insufferably pious crap that's just aching to be cross-stitched onto a decorative pillow....

Tony Blair Turned To Sir Alex Ferguson For Advice
Much hullabaloo in the UK press at the moment over Tony Blair's recently published memoirs, in which, by all accounts, he comes across as a bit of an egotistical chap....

<em>ESPN The Mag</em> Story About Sister-Humping NFL Prospect Will Break Your Heart
Remember Tony Washington? The Abilene Christian lineman who mashed uglies with his sister? He went undrafted in the draft and has yet to be signed as a free agent? Why is a talented o-line prospect getting the cold shoulder from the NFL?...

Tony La Russa Isn't Lying About Being Apolitical. That's The Problem.
Tony La Russa and I have the same literary agent. This might tell you all you need to know about the state of literature, but nonetheless, it's true. When Are We Winning? was in galleys, my agent sent La Russa a copy....

La Russa, Pujols Will Apolitically Attend Glenn Beck's Totally Apolitical Rally
Can we all agree by now that the allegedly thoughtful Tony La Russa, who maybe you've heard is a lawyer and who walks the earth cogitating profoundly on such matters as lineup construction and puppies, is really just an all-around paste-eating dumbass?...