too Page 13 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Stop The Jihad Against Presidential Facial Hair
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering dogs, douche schools, Coke, and more....
700 Year Old Tito Ortiz Flips Off Stephan Bonnar
Some things never change....
The Internet Has A “Problem” Problem
Hey, you saw "Too Many Cooks," right? That batshit-insane, 11-minute Adult Swim video that lampoons the opening credits of old network sitcoms (or current Disney Channel sitcoms, if you've ever been forced to watch one)? It was funny, right? LOL THE '80S WERE SO DUMB. I know I enjoyed it. ...
Real Housewives Of Kenya: Jeptoo's Husband Alleges Doping, But Proves Blackmail
You can't make this stuff up. Kenyan runner Rita Jeptoo's estranged husband, Noah Busienei, produced a letter dated April 2013 from his lawyer to Jeptoo threatening to reveal her doping, which he alleged had been happening since September 2011, to Athletics Kenya and WADA unless she paid him off. T...
Will Rita Jeptoo's Failed Drug Test Unravel Kenyan Running?
The news du annum in running is that one of the top distance runners in the world, Kenyan Rita Jeptoo, tested positive for the performance enhancing drug EPO in an out-of-competition evaluation. Jeptoo won the Oct. 12 Chicago Marathon, and was due to travel to New York on Oct. 31 to accept the $500,...
Man With Patriots Helmet Tattoo Arrested On Synthetic Weed Charges
You may remember Victor Thompson, the man with a Patriots helmet tattooed on his head, from back in 2012. I interviewed him a few days before the Patriots played the Giants in Super Bowl XLVI, since he lived roughly 20 minutes from me in New Hampshire. Thompson was in jail at the time for willful co...
Report: NBA Bans Sexy-Ass Songs From German Cheerleaders' Routine
German basketball club Alba Berlin will take on the San Antonio Spurs in an exhibition game Wednesday, but their cheerleaders will be working at half-speed. The NBA apparently nixed three songs from Alba Berlin's squad's routine, on account of the tracks being too sexy, according to German tabloid B...
Peter King Thinks He Thinks You Think Goodell Is Doing A Good Job, Maybe
There's an NBC News/Marist poll going around—maybe you've seen it—in which 606 adults answered questions about the NFL's and Roger Goodell's handling of its various domestic violence scandals. One of the questions asks whether respondents think Roger Goodell should resign; 29 percent of them say ...
The NFL's Useful Idiots Want Roger Goodell To Get Tough; They're Wrong
The bad thing about the corruption in NFL reporting is that there's literally no way for a league higher-up to fuck up badly enough to be held to account by the people best positioned to do so. The good thing is that if you want to know what the NFL wants you to think, all you have to do is read w...
Will The Elite NFL Media Still Be Stooges After The Ray Rice Scandal?
The longtime agent and I were talking about NFL reporters and professional lapses. I said, "I guess you see lapses—"...
Deadspin OBLITERATES Current Internet Headline Meme
As an internet user, you're probably aware of the symbiotic relationship between popular broadcasters like Jon Stewart and John Oliver and the internet. It works like this: broadcasters sum up a current issue in an entertaining, shareable video, and then websites looking for content that takes no ti...
Lucas Matthysse KO's Roberto Ortiz With A Perfectly-Placed Body Blow
While tonight's Showtime main event is obviously Adrien Broner vs. Emmanuel Taylor, Lucas Matthysse ensured paying spectators got a bit of meat for their money's worth when he dispatched Roberto Ortiz in the second round with a body blow targeted precisely at his opponent's liver....
There Were So Many Goals In Today's Everton-Chelsea Match
Alright, Chelsea beat Everton by three goals today—two of which it took them all of three minutes into the match to score—but that doesn't even begin to state how insane this game was. There were nine goals! There could've been three more! There was a Tim Howard head butt!...
Meta Analysis: How Many Licks To Reach The Center Of A Tootsie Pop?
The world may never know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. But we can at least use data to make an educated guess....
Don't Burn The Garlic
I recently told a friend of my interest in telling stories with pictures and he recommended Cartooning, by Ivan Brunetti. This slim volume is a written version of a class Brunetti teaches on the cartoon format (he doesn't care for the terms graphic novel and I don't blame him). It is broken down int...
No One Likes Jim Boeheim As Much As This Guy With A Jim Boeheim Tattoo
Oh, you're a Syracuse men's basketball fan? You like Jim Boeheim? WRONG. What the hell do you know about liking Jim Boeheim? Do you have a 10-inch tattoo of Jim Boeheim's face on your leg? No? Some Jim Boeheim fan you are....
76ers Fan Gets "2015 NBA Champs" Ass Tattoo
This man tattooed "76ers 2015 NBA Champs" on his ass. Chances are, it is something he will come to regret. ...
Jerry Remy Loses Tooth During Broadcast; Don Orsillo Can't Stop Giggling
The NESN booth got weird in the fourth inning of tonight's Cubs-Red Sox game when color commentator Jerry Remy's tooth—or was it a crown?—fell out of his mouth. Gross....
Chilean Striker Tattoos Himself With Image Of His Heartbreaking Miss
Mauricio Pinillia is not about to forget about how how close he came to bringing his team a stunning World Cup victory over Brazil. That's because the Chilean striker went ahead and got a picture of his golazo-that-wasn't tattooed on his body after the match. Some old guy must have said something va...
This Is A Very Yinzer Tattoo
Stillers, Pirates, and Penguins logos, all floating over the Pittsburgh skyline. Yes, this is a very Yinzer tattoo indeed....