too Page 19 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
![There Was An Extra Tool In Today's Braves Tool Race, And This One Got Arrested [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
There Was An Extra Tool In Today's Braves Tool Race, And This One Got Arrested [UPDATE]
Like most ballparks, Turner Field hosts a silly race between costumed characters that represent some sponsoring interest. In the Braves' case, it's the Home Depot Tool Race. Today's Tool Race featured an extra competitor, a fan who raced in from center field and made it to the infield before being...
![Andy Pettitte Does A Frankie Five Angels At The Roger Clemens Trial [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17lez0osc0u4ejpg.jpg)
Andy Pettitte Does A Frankie Five Angels At The Roger Clemens Trial [UPDATE]
Andy Pettitte was supposed to be the prosecution's star witness at the perjury trial of Roger Clemens. According to the Los Angeles Times, Pettitte was the only person expected to say under oath that Clemens had used human growth hormone other than Clemens's former trainer, Brian McNamee. But when P...
Brett Favre Will Have To Answer Questions Under Oath About Those <i>Other</i> Ladies He Allegedly Sexted
A Manhattan Supreme Court Justice has refused to dismiss a sexual harassment lawsuit against Brett Favre, filed last year by two former Jets massage therapists. This means that at the very least, Favre will have to testify under oath—-something he never did during the NFL's investigation into his in...
In Praise Of Stupid Laughs. <em>The Three Stooges</em>, Reviewed.
1. An old joke: "Why do women not like The Three Stooges? Because they're not funny." The appeal of The Three Stooges has always been inherently male, predominantly young male, specifically adolescent, glue-sniffing boy. Now, that's not to say that 10-year-olds the world over are obsessed with The T...
There Were Three Stooges At Yesterday's NASCAR Event, And They Were Not Named Dale, Darryl, Or Darrell
From the moment he slipped the fire suit over his frizzed hair, Larry knew his dreams had finally become reality. He'd aspired to pilot the speed machine from the time he was five years old, playing with Matchbox—...
This Lady Got A Giant Gary Payton Tattoo On Her Torso
Someone in Seattle is still having problems getting over the loss of the Sonics, and pouring her frustrations into creativity and self-mutilation. But here's the good news, guys: she's vulnerable and single! (We're assuming. Because of the giant Gary Payton tattoo and all.) [via IAmAGm]...
Excerpts From The Long-Lost Script For <em>Monday Night Football: The Cartoon</em>
So total at the time was Cosell's saturation of culture that Irwin Weiner, an ABC Sports vice president for twenty years, once came up with a concept for a Saturday morning kids' series called "Monday Night Football: The Cartoon", one that would turn Cosell, Gifford and Meredith into animated charac...
This MLB Fan Cave Candidate Has Tattoos Of All 30 Mascots
Benjamin Christensen might be an Oakland A's fan, but he has every MLB team covered, with the American League on the right side of his torso and the National League on the left. But the designs for many of them are more intricate than you think:...
Some Guy From Queens Apparently Got Eli And Peyton Manning Tattooed On His Hairy Ass
Writes tipster Derek B., "My buddy got this tattoo Eli giving Peyton a noogie today. He's a huge Giants fan."...
Catching Up With Chris Brown, The Texans Super Bowl Champions Tattoo Guy
Remember Chris Brown? Sure you do. He's the supremely confident Texans fan who decided to get an irreversible reminder of a jarring lapse in judgment. As we settle in for the second half of the AFC Championship game, we turn to the Houston Press and are reminded just how jarring a lapse it was....
This Is The Bill Walsh Coaching Tree On A Man's Ass
The ass you are looking at belongs to a 35 year-old intern for The Don Geronimo Show on 1140 The Fan out in Sacramento, California. Earlier in the week, the show posed the question "What would you do for NFC Championship game tickets?" Logically, the intern responded that he would get a tattoo of t...
That Is One Huge-Ass Spartan Tattoo, MSU Redshirt Freshman Special Teamer
Nick Hill has played all of 15 games for Michigan State, mostly as a kick returner. He's feeling good about the team and confident in his job security, because now there's no way he can ever transfer. [It's Always Sunny in Detroit]...
Some Guy Got A Giant Tattoo Of Stevie Johnson's Head On His Arm
Johnson, the Bills wide receiver who was benched over the weekend, did this not so long ago. He still wound up with 1007 yards on the year. And now he tweeted a photo of the dude's tattoo. Everything about this is so dispiriting I don't know whom I should call classless. [@StevieJohnson13, via Sport...
Why Brain Damage Isn't An Issue In MMA, According To Dana White And UFC Fighters
Interesting little colloquy here by UFC chief Dana White and some of his UFC 140 fighters about brain damage and concussions in MMA. For all its sanguinary appeal and danger, MMA is actually safer than sports like boxing, football, and hockey, at least according to the limited medical studies avai...
Dude With That Awful "Tebow Time" Centaur Tattoo Did, In Fact, Lose A Bet
We initially said he didn't. But it's kind of a relief to discover that he did because, like, really. [Larry Brown Sports]...
Somebody In Denver Got This Awful "Tebow Time" Centaur Tattoo On His Thigh
And the dude who did came into a tattoo parlor with that rendering and actually asked to have it done. Afterward, even the artist who put it there felt compelled to ask the man if he had lost a bet. He hadn't. [Larry Brown Sports]...
The Taiwanese Animation For The Penn State Scandal Is Batshit Insane, Even By Taiwanese Animation Standards
Did you know these videos aren't even aimed at Taiwanese people? Next Media Animation knows their twisted takes on Western news play well in America. It's been a while since we ran one of them, because by pumping them out almost daily they've watered down what was once a special treat. But their v...
Yeah, That's A Rangers 2011 World Champs Tattoo
Add another to the ever-expanding world of premature Texas sports tattoos. I would like to think this fellow got his ink done with two outs in the ninth in game 6. The best part is the Mavs trophy tattoo next to it—almost (almost) makes me wish the Heat had come back to win that one. [Big League Ste...
Oh, No. No, No, No. (Man Gets A Texans Super Bowl Champions Tattoo)
Man, Chris Brown, you are a brave, stupid man. Not only did you get a Texans logo tattooed on your arm, framed by the words "Super Bowl" XVLI Champion. But you shaded the area behind the roman numerals so you won't be able to fix it in the future. Why would you do this, Chris?...
A Homemade Infographic To Help Explain Who Is Still Chasing The Pennant And Who Is Not
Adrian Beltre, who the Boston Red Sox decided not to keep around this year, hit three home runs this afternoon, carrying the Texas Rangers into the American League Championship Series. That's two more homers than any Red Sox third baseman hit in any game this year. Just one of those subtle statistic...