too Page 21 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Man Gets Flipper On His Stump
I don't freakin' know. Via Ebert, because why the hell not....
What The Hell Did Andrei Kirilenko Do To His Back?
Andrei Kirilenko got a back tattoo. As far as we can tell, although we don't play Earthdawn ourselves, it is an image of a warrior riding a dragon beast flying creature with strangely-textured giant wings. Let's call it the Russian God of Bad Ideas....
So, This Is What A College Station Glee Episode Would Look Like
Tipster Glenn T. just sent in this link to what's described as "nearly 150 students burst(ing) into seemingly spontaneous song and dance" during Texas A&M Foundation's annual Legacy Society Gala at the Gilliam Indoor Track Stadium....
Dana White Demands A Porn Star On A Leash
Never one for choosing his words to women carefully, Dana White has now taken to Twitter to attack mild-mannered porn queen Jenna Jameson, the sometime significant other of Tito Ortiz:...
Floyd Mayweather Accompanied 50 Cent To Fight Night At Foxwoods And All He Got Was Booed
Your morning roundup for April 17, the day burglars everywhere accept the fact that trying to rob 81-year-old stroke victim/Korean vet Bobby Smith means they'll get a piping-hot frying pan filled with potatoes across the head....
Here's Video Of A Kevin Durant Fan Getting "Thunder" Tattooed On Her Thigh
Thanks to Royce from DailyThunder.com for sharing what he deemed "Potentially insane female Thunder fan gets massive tattoo on her thigh." When the team moves back to Seattle, Royce will have used one word too many and Priscilla, well, Priscilla seems like she'll be just fine with it anyway....
Here's How God Helped The NCAA Totally Screw Baylor Off The Tournament Bubble
Earlier this week, the New York Times ran a story about Baylor freshman forward Perry Jones III. Detailing his eighth-grade verbal commitment — "[H]e never wavered, even as coaches from more-traditional college-basketball powers, including Kansas and U.C.L.A., sent letters to his home" — it painted...
Harvey Updyke, Alleged Tree Poisoner, Is Living In His Car In The Woods
After three lawyers assigned to the case bowed out for various personal reasons, a man in Alabama has finally agreed to take on the case of Harvey Updyke, the former state trooper who allegedly poisoned Auburn's oak trees at Toomer's Corner. The lucky attorney, Glennon Threatt, Jr., went on the Paul...
Tree-Poisoner's Lawyer Wants Off The Case Because He's An Auburn Fan
Time once again to play everybody's favorite game! SEC Fans: Big Children or Biggest Children? As a volunteer militia puts Alabama's Bear Bryant statue under 24-hour guard for fear of retaliation, the state gears up for its biggest trial since Atticus Finch defended Tom Robinson....
Let Us Begin Our All-Night Tree Vigil For The Oaks At Toomer's Corner
The trees are cloaked in their customary strips of toilet paper, and a man from Dadeville who named his kids "Bear" and "Crimson" awaits justice. At College Street and Magnolia Avenue in Auburn this evening, Tiger fans mourn the loss of their beloved oak trees. The sites seem to be having a bit of d...
'Bama Fan Who May Have Been A State Trooper Charged with Poisoning Auburn's Trees
Harvey Almorn Updyke, a 62 year-old from Dadeville, Ala., has been arrested for poisoning the beloved oak trees at Aurburn's Toomer's Corner. Updyke, according to his Facebook profile, is a retired Texas State Trooper and a dedicated 'Bama fan (note the patterned hat; he also has a Facebook friend n...
Pour One Out For Auburn's Trees Tonight
Toomer's Corner, the spiritual heart of Auburn's campus and the destination spot to celebrate wins, was poisoned with a "very lethal dose" herbicide. Naturally, the perpetrator bragged about it on Finebaum's show. People have heart attacks. People admit to tree-killing. These are things that happen ...
Samuel Eto'o Saw Wayne Rooney's Excellent Goal And Did The Opposite
Inter Milan's Samuel Eto'o managed to hit the crossbar from about four yards away from the wide-open goal, with just a few moments left in the match. His team trailed Juventus 1-0. That's how it ended....
"You Guys Are Little Bitches," Said Amani Toomer To His Roller-Hockey Opponents
A brief story about the former Giants wide receiver and his roller-hockey league (!) in Wallington, N.J., courtesy a twice-forwarded email....
Ryan Howard Makes A Cranberries Reference
Ryan Howard, on his bum ankle: "Those kinds of things linger, like the Cranberries."...
Here's The Favre Sexual Harassment Lawsuit
The massage therapists' lawsuit — against Brett Favre; the Jets; and the team's massage coordinator, Lisa Ripi — is below. If you'd like analysis, please consult the many Americans conversant in both the suit's particulars and the relevant case law....
Ohio State Players Who Took Discounted Stuff Will Return For Another Year Of Nominally Unpaid Labor
The Tattooed Five will be back in Columbus next year, per an agreement with Jim Tressel, who will teach the players a hard lesson about not paying for stuff by bringing them back for another year of unpaid football....
The <em>Space Jam</em> Website From 1996 Is Still Up
Commenter StuckBetweenStations points us to the official Space Jam website, unchanged these past 14(!) years. It's a wonderful little time capsule, and I bet I score higher in "Match The Monstar" than you....
Samuel Eto’o Gets All Zinedine Zidane About It
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff. ...
If You Bet On The Patriots, You're A Huge Dick
Dude loses Super Bowl XLII bet, gets 6-inch penis wearing Giants helmet tattooed on his thigh. Or maybe he asked a genie for a "giant penis," and it was one of those Monkey's Paw-type ironies. [Barstool Sports] [Mildly NSFW photo inside]...