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Analyst Trent Dilfer Would Rip Quarterback Trent Dilfer
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Tim Howard Just Scored A Goal
In the game featuring Landon Donovan's Everton debut it was another American, goalkeeper Tim Howard, who stole the show, scoring a goal to put his side up 1-0 on Bolton Wanderers....

We Simulated The NFL White Vs. Black Race Bowl On <em>Madden</em> So You Don't Have To
Earlier this week, reader Dustin asked who would win between an all-white NFL All-Pro team and an all-black NFL All-Pro team. Mind you, this question was asked without ANY ROOTING INTEREST, and without any hint of RAYCESSNESS. Are we clear on that? Good. BECAUSE WE TOTALLY SIMULATED THAT RACE WAR ...

Nomar Garciaparra Tried To Convince Astronauts The Moon Landing Was Fake, And Other Stories From Six Years In Red Sox PR
Go read Doug Bailey's piece in Boston magazine, because any time a media strategist for one of the most media-dysfunctional franchises in sports starts telling tales out of school, it's well worth your time. Especially when Bailey's former employer is reportedly furious about it. ...

Cocaine, Suicide, Women, And Guns: An A.J. Daulerio Story
Over the next few days, we'll be roasting our former editor A.J. Daulerio, who has moved across the room to edit Gawker, a popular Real Housewives fanzine. If you have an A.J. story to share, or if you would like to participate in some other way, please email [email protected]. Lightly sourced sla...

This Virginia Tech Fan Is More Fascinated By Her Cleavage Than By The Sugar Bowl
Your morning roundup for Jan. 4, the day we thanked Apocephalus borealis. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Holly Rowe Will Beat Up Anyone Who Tries To Steal Her Interview
Holly Rowe wasn't going to let anyone get between her and the post-Sugar Bowl interview with the winning coach, Michigan's Brady Hoke. That includes the Detroit News' Angelique Chengelis somebody who is not Angelique Chengelis, who came out on the wrong end of Rowe's elbow. [ESPN]...

At The Winter Classic, A New Year Belongs To Gary Bettman
PHILADELPHIA—These are supposed to be the treasured memories of the NHL's Winter Classic: Star-crossed Brayden Schenn's first career goal. Mike Rupp's mocking Jagr salute after his first score. Henrik Lundqvist stoning a penalty shot for the game. But they're transient memories, already fading....

Was Matt Flynn's Big Game A Fluke?
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Yep, It Looks Like A Wisconsin Assistant Coach Ate A Booger At The Rose Bowl
We think this is Wisconsin assistant coach Joe Rudolph pulling a Spaulding in the first quarter of the Rose Bowl; here it is in full forensic-quality slow-mo and zoomed-in just for your enjoyment. [ESPN]...

"Pedobear" Showed Up At The Houston-Penn State Game Today
We got an email, telegram-style, this morning: "Pedobear spotted tailgating outside ticket city bowl in Dallas complete with joepa cleats." We figured it was just a gag tailgate outfit that would never make it into the TicketCity Bowl (at the Cotton Bowl) and that we might not wind up with photograp...

Spelling Is Still A Challenge In Georgia
Inside joke? A reference to something Georgia fans would understand? Or just dumbasses who can't spell their team's diminutive? ...

2011: The Year We Became The United States Of Trolling
Well, that about wraps up yet another shitty year of the new millennium. I don't know about you, but I personally can't wait to see what future shitty years have in store: rising water prices, a sharp growth in armed RoHoWa militias, a new Pitbull album ... everything shitty is on the table, people....

Never Hook Up In A Bunk Bed
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

The Year In Fans Running Onto The Field: A Video
Is there anything more life-affirming than watching a fan—likely drunk, possibly naked, probably a moron—jump a barrier and dash onto a field in the middle of a sporting event? The responsible authoritarians who run the TV networks won't show you these occasional bursts of the anarchic spirit, but...

This Guy Died This Year: Bil Keane, Comics Paterfamilias
Bil Keane was known, among his fellow professional cartoonists, as a funny, funny man. His life's work, in The Family Circus, was to hide that fact from as many people as possible. Day after day, decade after decade, The Family Circus delivered the mildest gags imaginable—observational humor minus t...

A Gestural Analysis Of The Miami Heat's Intro Video (In Which Everyone Looks Like A French Sailor)
The over-produced NBA team introduction video is an unfortunate but often hilarious fact of life now, and we may as well accept its extravagance and pyrotechnics as such. But not every team is the Miami Heat, and not every team's introduction video calls to mind the hip-hop super-group music video...

A Holiday Public-Urination Story To Warm Your Heart
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed. Image by Jim Cooke....

Soon, ESPN Will Be Nothing But 24 Hours Of People Disagreeing With Skip Bayless
You should read Richard Deitsch on Dana Jacobson's defenestration from ESPN's First Take—as a co-host, she was to Skip Bayless what Dave Garroway was to his pet chimp—but you should really read this ESPN interview with First Take producer Jamie Horowitz, which is a stupid little fractal of everythin...
