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Never Hook Up In A Bunk Bed
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
The Year In Fans Running Onto The Field: A Video
Is there anything more life-affirming than watching a fan—likely drunk, possibly naked, probably a moron—jump a barrier and dash onto a field in the middle of a sporting event? The responsible authoritarians who run the TV networks won't show you these occasional bursts of the anarchic spirit, but...
This Guy Died This Year: Bil Keane, Comics Paterfamilias
Bil Keane was known, among his fellow professional cartoonists, as a funny, funny man. His life's work, in The Family Circus, was to hide that fact from as many people as possible. Day after day, decade after decade, The Family Circus delivered the mildest gags imaginable—observational humor minus t...
A Gestural Analysis Of The Miami Heat's Intro Video (In Which Everyone Looks Like A French Sailor)
The over-produced NBA team introduction video is an unfortunate but often hilarious fact of life now, and we may as well accept its extravagance and pyrotechnics as such. But not every team is the Miami Heat, and not every team's introduction video calls to mind the hip-hop super-group music video...
A Holiday Public-Urination Story To Warm Your Heart
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed. Image by Jim Cooke....
Soon, ESPN Will Be Nothing But 24 Hours Of People Disagreeing With Skip Bayless
You should read Richard Deitsch on Dana Jacobson's defenestration from ESPN's First Take—as a co-host, she was to Skip Bayless what Dave Garroway was to his pet chimp—but you should really read this ESPN interview with First Take producer Jamie Horowitz, which is a stupid little fractal of everythin...
The 50 Most Popular Deadspin Posts Of 2011
Transparency time. Here are the 50 or so most popular Deadspin posts from 2011, ranked in order, beginning with the year's most popular. The list has a little of everything: sports, fights, sex, fights about sex, sex during sporting events, and whatever it was Glen Rice did with Sarah Palin in the c...
A $250 Stock Certificate Did Not Instantly Turn My Children Into Packers Fans
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....
15 Years Ago, I Wrote A Fan Letter To ESPN. Here's Who Wrote Back.
I don't remember now what was in my letter, which I'd addressed to the very nonspecific "SportsCenter anchors." I'm sure it was your standard fan mail—"I'm a big fan, I watch every morning, I want to be on ESPN one day." I don't think I asked for a reply, and I definitely didn't ask for signed heads...
Confessions Of A Sports Bigamist
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....
Cam Newton > Tim Tebow
On the McLaughlin Group on Sunday, the panelists were giving out year-end political awards, and Rich Lowry, the guy from the National Review last seen wiping starbursts off his khakis, gave one to Tim Tebow, for being the most exciting thing in American sports right now, or some such thing. It wasn'...
A Plea For TV Networks To Show People Running Onto The Field
Big thank you to Drew for letting me guest this Funbag. Normally my day is filled with exploiting my elderly father for money (see: Shit My Dad Says), so it was a welcome diversion. I also used to write for the TV show of the same name, until America was like, "GOD FUCKING STOP THIS SHIT TAKE IT OFF...
30 Paragraphs About 30 Teams From The Basketball Prospectus Guide To The Truncated NBA Season
The following is an abridged preview of an abridged NBA season, culled from the team chapters of the ever-incisive Pro Basketball Prospectus. Buy the book as a PDF for $9.98. ...
Ricky Rubio <em>Está Aquí</em>
The Timberwolves' Ricky Rubio had six assists in the 26 minutes of his NBA debut. Here's each of them in all their Catalonian glory....
ESPN's <em>Monday Night Football</em> Intro Featured Betty White Talking About How Hot Matt Ryan Is
ESPN's been slowing scraping the bottom of the barrel since jettisoning Hank Williams, Jr., and this holiday-themed Betty White intro was less funny than weird. What, the usual New Orleans staples of zydeco and Cafe Du Monde weren't available? ...
We've Identified Jilted Packergirl
Thanks to a tipster whose identity we'll keep secret for his/her own sake, we know the young lady featured in this morning's Wake Up Deadspin is named Annie Wagner (we also heard the cheating ex-boyfriend is a real "douchewibbler"). Here's Annie's Facebook....
LeBron James Spent His Offseason Dunking On Small Children: A Video Compilation
The end of the NBA lockout meant one thing (aside from a massive upward redistribution of wealth from the players to the owners): no more videos of LeBron James dunking on kids. But, to celebrate his return this afternoon, let's enjoy them one last time....
What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?
As in past years, the Sun Sentinel has created a searchable database of emergency room visits around the country. And as in past years, we have trolled the data for the finest examples of insertions showcasing extraordinarily bad luck and/or ingenuity. ...
TNT's "NBA Forever" Season-Opening Video Is Spectacular
Most attempts at the Forrest Gump-style "modern people placed into old video" are hokey or at the very least poorly-executed, but TNT splashed the rainbow with this video that preceded the opening-day Celtics-Knicks broadcast. ...
This Is Your Last Chance To Vote For The 2011 Deadspin Hall Of Fame
Polls close at 11:59 p.m. (EST) tonight. Here is your roster of nominees:...