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My Night With The Fake Chuck Knoblauch
As soon as I walk in I try and spot the problem cases. I start my job as doorman in a Brooklyn bar around 9, and by that point on a Friday you've already got a handful of people turned way on. Friday night was kinda crowded, couple of SHOT! SHOT! chanters, one guy nodding off on his stool, but for ...
Melky Cabrera Cooked Up A Phony Website To Try To Beat His Suspension
The New York Daily News has discovered that in an effort to beat the rap on his 50-game suspension, Melky and his "associates" devised a scheme that included purchasing a website for $10,000, making this website appear to sell a fake product and pretending Melky purchased and used the product, unaw...
Joe Paterno: "I'm Not Omniscient!"
Joe Posnanski's book on Joe Paterno will be released next week (and includes the quote from Bill James you see above), but various members of the media have obtained a copy. Among other things, the book reveals that Joe Paterno had to be coerced into reading the grand jury presentment by his family ...
Dead Letters: "Congrats You Unimaginative Retard"
Subject: Too Funny...
Your <em>Expendables 2</em> Power Rankings
The Expendables 2 has 11 names on its poster only because there is not room, either in poster space or running time, for 47. It is New Years Eve with testicles. It is the turducken of action movies. Rather than review the film, I thought I'd just rank those 11 names, in ascending order of Expendable...
Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Pittsburgh Steelers
Some people are fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....
Tyrann Mathieu Is In Drug Rehab, Being Mentored By Former NBA Coach John Lucas
Ever since LSU coach Les Miles dismissed Tyrann Mathieu from the team last Friday, everyone's been wondering why it was done, where was Mathieu, and what would become of his immediate future. Well, some of those questions have finally been answered. An exclusive report from FOX 8 in New Orleans sa...
<em>Compliance</em>: A Grierson & Leitch Conversation About Pranks, Coercion, And Blowjobs
Compliance, which opens Friday, was one of the most debated movies at the 2012 Sundance Film Festival. Starring Dreama Walker (now better known for Don't Trust the B—— in Apartment 23) and written and directed by Craig Zobel, it's a psychological thriller about an Ohio fast-food joint that becomes t...
"Struck By Blow Dart": A Brief Index Of Recent Terrible Events Involving Joggers
An occasional miscellany (with a head nod toward this great old post on Runner's World's website)....
Blackmail, Sexual Obsession, Fight Fixing: Behind The Weird Scenes On The Night Floyd Patterson Conquered Boxing
Excerpted from W.K. Stratton's Floyd Patterson: The Fighting Life of Boxing's Invisible Champion, available today from fine booksellers everywhere....
Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Cleveland Browns
Some people are fans of the Cleveland Browns. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Cleveland Browns. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....
Did Performance-Enhancing Drugs Actually Help Melky Cabrera?
Since MLB announced Melky Cabrera's 50-game suspension for testosterone earlier this afternoon, a few folks have been crowing about what a fraud Cabrera is. Evidently Cabrera's sin is worse than the usual steroid stuff because he improved dramatically over the last two years and planned to parlay th...
Bristolmetrics: <em>SportsCenter</em> Finally Discovers Mike Trout
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week. Graphic by Jim Cooke....
Felix Hernandez Just Threw A Perfect Game Against The Rays
On Monday, our man Tom Ley wrote about Felix Hernandez, the big-game pitcher who's been deprived of big games because he plays in Seattle. "No one calls him clutch," he wrote, "because his teams have been too wretched to give him even a chance at being clutch. But clutch isn't always about rising ...
Let's Save Jesse Eisenberg's Career
It hasn't been a good week for Jesse Eisenberg. On Sunday, when the cameras caught him watching Team USA's gold medal win over Spain, the broadcasters thought he was actually Mark Zuckerberg. On Wednesday, he "contributed" an "essay" to Dave Eggers' "90 Days, 90 Reasons" site that couldn't have made...
Throwing Up Dip And Learning About Blowjobs: Deadspin's Notes On Summer Camp
I went to Camp Deerhorn in Rhinelander, Wis., every summer for the majority of my adolescence. It was an awesome camp. We got to fire guns. We got to shoot arrows. We got to go on horseback rides. (I’ve never shit my pants with more direct force than the first time I was on a horse and it went from ...
Taylor Grey Meyer, Who Kindly Told The Padres To "Suck Her Dick," Is Here To Answer Your Questions
Everyone, meet Taylor Grey Meyer. Taylor, meet everyone. Taylor is the overqualified, underemployed 31-year-old who applied 30 different times for various jobs with the Padres, getting rejected or ignored each time. When they tried to hit her up for $500 to attend a job fair, she snapped and fired o...
Catching <em>Phantom Of The Opera</em> With Vince McMahon: More Wrestler Run-Ins
Inspired by the saga of "Wrestling Superstar Virgil," we continue with readers' encounters with the titans of the squared circle. If you've had your own run-in with pro wrestlers past or present, e-mail us, subject line "Virgilbag."...
Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Baltimore Ravens
Some people are fans of the Baltimore Ravens. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Baltimore Ravens. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....