ty Page 490 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Shitty Swiss Team Cuts 11 Players After Youth Team Blows Them Out 10-0
FC Grenchen, of Switzerland's fourth division, suck at soccer. In their last nine matches, they've collected all of zero points while shipping 66—yes, 66—goals, 10 of which came at the feet of FC Luzern's youth squad. Following that horrific result, Grenchen's sporting director decided to cut 11 pla...
Giannis Antetokounmpo Has A New Weapon
Giannis Antetokounmpo has been having a quiet but solid year as the Bucks' 6-foot-11 guard-forward hybrid. He's averaging 12 points and six rebounds in 26 minutes per game—good numbers that any 19-year-old in just his second NBA season would be proud of—but what's more impressive is how quickly Ante...
Alleged Rapist Bill Cosby Bullies Reporter, Explains How Life Works
The problem with most conspiracy theories about how the media works is that they assume power exerts itself overtly. The truth is that it doesn't have to. Journalists are rarely told by powerful or influential people not to cover certain stories; they usually simply decline to cover them out of a va...
Ivory Coast Fans Mob Pitch As Team Qualifies For Africa Cup Of Nations
Ivory Coast took on Cameroon at home in Abidjan today, in their final match of 2015 Africa Cup of Nations qualification. With three minutes of stoppage time left, and both teams assured of qualifying with a 0-0 draw, Cameroon was content to let the Ivory Coast pass the ball around unmolested....
NBA Suspends Jeffery Taylor 24 Games For Domestic Assault, Shades NFL
The NBA announced in a memo Wednesday evening that Hornets small forward Jeffery Taylor had been given a 24-game unpaid suspension, after he pleaded guilty in late October to misdemeanor domestic violence assault. He was sentenced to 18 months probation. Taylor was arrested in September, and the...
Marshawn Lynch Drove To A Guy's House To Return His Wallet
A guy named Jason Lynch (no relation to Marshawn) posted a story on his Facebook page in which Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch comes off as a real swell guy. Take it away, Jason:...
Kansas Coach Bill Self Takes 32-Point Beatdown With Humor
Bill Self's Kansas Jayhawks were the fifth ranked team in the country going into Tuesday night's matchup against Kentucky, but they won't be for much longer after getting whooped 72-40. Kentucky is most people's preseason pick to be the NCAA Champion, and they certainly looked the part as their le...
Fan Throws Jersey Onto Ice As Maple Leafs Get Blasted 9-2
The Toronto Maple Leafs got absolutely shellacked at home tonight, giving up five third-period goals to the Predators en route to a 9-2 loss. Leafs fans were so mad that one of them tossed their jersey onto the ice late in the third period: ...
The Philadelphia 76ers Are A Godless Abomination
You almost certainly missed it over the weekend, but the Philadelphia 76ers made a big addition to their roster, scooping up free-agent forward Robert Covington. If you've never heard of Robert Covington, that's because he's an undrafted second-year player who had previously seen the floor in just s...
RG3 Is Making Everyone Insane
Let's begin with the full quote. You already know that RG3 allegedly threw his teammates under the bus after the Skins got their asses handed to them by the Bucs at home on Sunday, but you probably only read this part of the quote…...
This Family Is The Worst Thing On Facebook
Perhaps you have had occasion to view a YouTube song video created by a group of healthy-looking white people named "The Holderness Family." Perhaps it was the one in which they perform a version of Snoop Dogg's classic "Gin and Juice" song, fitted to Halloween, titled "Kin and Moose."...
The Nuggets Front Office Literally Doesn't Know How To Do Its Job
According to Kevin Arnovitz's motherlode on the Nuggets' front office, there's a good chance you know every bit as much about how an NBA contract works as the guys working there. ...
Carolina Won And Then Lost The Game On Two Huge 4th Quarter Plays
Late in the fourth quarter against the Falcons, Cam Newton and the Panthers were driving, down two, when Newton hit his rookie wideout Kelvin Benjamin for a 17-yard gain, taking Carolina down to the Atlanta 32, within field goal range. It represented the biggest gain in WPA for the week—28 percentag...
Despots, Serial Killers, And Dick Jokes: <em>Football Manager</em>'s Banned Names
From the sheer number of funny names assigned to the randomly generated players in Football Manager, you may have assumed there is no filter on name combinations. And while you may have seen a "Willy Pinas" or two, you haven't seen a "Adolf Hitler," "Tim McVeigh," or a "Dick Licka" for a good reas...
Kevin Durant To Dwight Howard: "You're A Pussy"
I don't think you can really call what happened between the Thunder and Rockets last night a "basketball game," what with both teams shooting under 30 percent and the Rockets winning 69-65 (even the mid-90s Knicks would blanch at that score). An ugly game like that tends to breed contempt—both sides...
Kurt Vonnegut's Elements Of Style
From the Paris Review comes this funski. ...
Feds Surprise NFL Teams With Postgame Drug Shakedowns
Federal drug agents executed unannounced searches of NFL teams after at least two of Sunday's games. According to the Washington Post, DEA agents targeted team doctors from the traveling Buccaneers and 49ers. Those might not be the only teams investigated, though the law enforcement official who spo...
Todd Gurley's Tumultuous Season Is Over After Tearing His ACL
Georgia running back and former Heisman favorite Todd Gurley tore his ACL last night on a six-yard run. When he was injured, the Bulldogs were up 27-7 on Auburn with about five minutes left to play. It was his first game back from a four-game suspension for signing memorabilia in exchange for around...
German Football League Threatens FIFA Over Unreleased World Cup Report
FIFA finally released a summary of their report into the bidding process for the 2018 and 2022 World Cups, and to the surprise of absolutely nobody it basically cleared Qatar, Russia, and current FIFA officials of any wrongdoing. The 42-page report was written by FIFA ethics committee judge Hans-Joa...
Report: Adrian Peterson Skips Previously Agreed To Hearing With NFL
Since pleading no contest to child injury charges almost two weeks ago, Adrian Peterson has been embroiled in a dispute with the NFL about when he can return to the field. A Facebook post from Adam Schefter reveals that Peterson and the NFL had previously agreed to a disciplinary hearing scheduled...