ty Page 562 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cardinals Complain About Dodgers' "Mickey Mouse" Celebrations
With the Diamondbacks and Braves gone golfing, who will make sure the game is played the right way? Worry not, the Cardinals are here to bitch about a pair of Dodger celebrations....

The Ballad Of The Fake Dodgers Bear Mascot
The great thing about baseball is that even after 150 years, you can watch a game and see something you've never seen before. Last night was one of those games. The renegade fan dancing atop the Cardinals dugout may have been wearing a bear suit, but this was a unique instance of guerilla mascoting....

Would You Do It Again? We Ask Former NFLer Chidi Ahanotu
This is an interview series in which we ask the plaintiffs of the NFL concussion lawsuit one question (and maybe a few more): Knowing what you know now, if you could do it over again, would you still play football?...

Heat Trainers Measure Greg Oden's Knees After Every Single Practice
Here's a telling bit from a TrueHoop piece on Greg Oden over the weekend. ...

How Statistically Unlikely Was The Patriots Comeback? (Spoiler: Very)
How unlikely was Tom Brady's game-winning pass to Kenbrell Thompkins? Unlikely enough to make this Win Probability chart for the Saints look like it got stabbed in the heart with a spear. ...

Meet The Boston Cop From The Sports Photo Of The Year
David Ortiz's game-tying eighth-inning grand slam would have gone down in Red Sox history anyway. But the inclusion of one bearded, exultant police officer produced an image that pushes the moment firmly into baseball lore....

Failure Is Not An Option
Be sure and check out Mimi Swartz's long profile on Bev Kearney in the new issue of Texas Monthly:...

Satchel: The Life And Times Of An American Legend
Satchel knew that, despite being the fastest, winningest pitcher alive, being black meant he never would get the attention he deserved. That was easy to see in the backwaters of the Negro Leagues but it remained true when he hit the Majors at age forty-two, with accusations flying that his signing w...

Reminder: Betting On Big NFL Favorites Is Always Dumb
The Broncos didn't cover their preposterous -28 (-27 at kickoff) spread. Of course they didn't. Because big NFL favorites usually don't cover....
![Hey Look, A Michigan Fan Getting Maced In The Face [Update: Video]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1933l3opzb9kxjpg.jpg)
Hey Look, A Michigan Fan Getting Maced In The Face [Update: Video]
We're not exactly sure why this is happening, but then, isn't it more beautiful that way? ...

Breakfast Is A Pain In The Ass, But Probably Helpful
It is October, a time for drinking seasonal beers and being hearty. I am not drinking seasonal beers because I gave up drinking for the month because of an upcoming race. I gave up drinking for running; it's terrible. As you're reading this, I am likely getting drunk at a football game. Here is your...

High School Football Players Accused Of Groping Girls At Pep Rally
Ridge Point High in Texas recently held a homecoming pep rally that featured a seven minute fireworks display. While the lights were off, several football players allegedly started groping girls in the crowd and later bragged about it on Twitter. "The number of booty that was grabbed was unreal," o...

Simone Biles Vs. The Racists: Are Black Gymnasts The New Black QBs?
Last week in Belgium Simone Biles made history by becoming the first woman of color to win an all-around title at the world championships, just a year after Gabby Douglas took the top spot at the Olympic Games....

The Enforcer Fallacy: Hockey's Fighting Specialists Don't Protect Anyone
On the opening night of the 2013-14 NHL season, Montreal Canadiens forward George Parros suffered a concussion and had to be removed from the ice on a stretcher following a fight with Colton Orr of the Toronto Maple Leafs....

Reports: Adrian Peterson's 2-Year-Old Beaten, "Not Expected To Survive"
Adrian Peterson's 2-year-old son—not Adrian Peterson Jr., but a formerly "secret" child—is "not expected to survive his injuries," and could be taken off life support tonight, City Pages reports. On Wednesday, the Sioux Falls boy was allegedly beaten by his mother's boyfriend, Joseph Robert Patters...

This TBS Graphic Typo Isn't Even Close
The bottom line should say "If Necessary," but someone apparently typed this with their butt, because that is so far from "If Necessary."...

Major Wright–But <em>Not</em> Terrance Williams–Sued For African Diamonds Loan
So, which is the better story here? TMZ's report that Bears safety Major Wright's diamond trading company is being sued for not repaying a loan that carries 100 percent interest? Or that TMZ's initial report claimed Cowboys receiver Terrance Williams was in on it too, but quickly removed him after h...

Why Your Cardinals Suck
The St. Louis Cardinals beat the Pittsburgh Pirates last night, because the Cardinals don't like it when another team like the Pirates or Nationals dares to threaten their self-appointed status as America's Baseball Sweethearts. They'll move on to face the GLORY BOY Dodgers in the NLCS, and somehow ...
