ty Page 643 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
USC Fires Student Manager Who Supposedly Tampered With Game Balls
This was the entirety of the statement the school issued last night:...
![MLS Couldn't Dig Itself Out Of The Snow Or Its Own Ass [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/184p6ngy5rminjpg.jpg)
MLS Couldn't Dig Itself Out Of The Snow Or Its Own Ass [UPDATE]
The weather had already shafted DC United. The higher seed, they lost homefield advantage when MLS switched the legs of their home-and-home with the Red Bulls because the New York area was still cleaning up after Hurricane Sandy. It wasn't fair, and United fans were pissed, but it's hard to see that...
Why Don't The 49ers Use Their Rookies?
There's something weird going on with the San Francisco 49ers: They don't use their rookies at all....
Black Lacrosse Player Boycotts Equipment Company Over "Ninja, Please" Slogan, Threatens To Retire
Every joke ever made about lacrosse is based on the premise that the players are obnoxious, privileged white kids from elite Northeastern prep schools. Stereotypes exist for a reason, though. So it shouldn't be a surprise that Warrior Lacrosse's "Ninja" line of products (such as training shoes calle...
Mike Keenan, The NHL's Last Great Asshole Coach
Playing for coach Mike Keenan in Chicago was like camping on the side of an active volcano. You had to accept the reality that he erupted regularly and that there was always a danger of being caught in his lava flow. He was a tyrant, a schoolyard bully, an oldschool coach who tried to motivate playe...
Christian Ponder Says To Lay Off His ESPN Girlfriend, She's Not The Reason He's Struggling
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Leave Samantha Steele out of it....
Art Howe: I Should Manage The Blue Jays Because I Am Not As Fat As Philip Seymour Hoffman
Quick. Come up with reasons Art Howe should manage the Toronto Blue Jays. I have a few. The Blue Jays need a manager. Art Howe is a manager, maybe even a good one—he has a career 1129-1137 record, which isn't so bad given that he spent time running the Mets, A's, and Astros, three franchises with hi...
As Punishment For Yelling "Fucking Jews!" At A Guy, Delmon Young Will Have To Complete Courses At The Museum Of Tolerance
Back in April, Tigers outfielder Delmon Young was charged with third-degree assault after a minor fracas on a road trip in New York. The alleged details were ugly: a supposedly drunk Young shoved a man to the ground after losing it—"Fucking Jews! Fucking Jews!"—at the sight of a yarmulke-wearing pan...
Jason Bay And The Mets Are, Mercifully, Getting A Divorce
One never likes to cheer a breakup, even if the pair was wrong for each other from the get-go, and even if the pair deeply, habitually wounded one another. A breakup is a failure. It's pathetic. It's time wasted, and we have so little of it on this earth....
Lucas Duda Broke His Wrist While Moving Furniture
Mets outfielder Lucas Duda broke his right wrist last month while moving furniture in his apartment, becoming another bullet point in a list of dumb baseball injuries, even just in 2012....
No, Marijuana Decriminalization Will Not Affect NCAA Recruiting In Colorado Or Washington
The states of Colorado and Washington voted yesterday to legalize recreational pot use, leading to all sorts of immediate Internet speculation about how colleges in those states just found their recruiting became easier. You know, because athletes like smoking weed! Unfortunately, this isn't likely...
On The Cusp Of Elimination, Manchester City Supporters Had No Answers
Reigning English Premier League champions Manchester City have struggled representing their nation in Champions League play, and a loss to Dutch side Ajax yesterday would have eliminated them from the competition entirely. That loss looked increasingly likely after Siem de Jong's early brace put Aj...
What To Watch Instead Of People Pretending They Know Who Won The Election
In lieu of watching various correspondents attempt to decide the election based on two states' poll results, here are some better options....
Important: Not Every Doping Cyclist Story Is About Lance Armstrong
South African cyclist David George failed a drug test for EPO this summer, and his suspension was announced today. His transgression has nothing to do with Lance Armstrong, who is a completely separate human. We feel it is important to make this distinction, because it is apparently not clear to eve...
Now A High School Football Coach, Luther Campbell Is As Boring As He Wanna Be
The New York Times caught up with former 2 Live Crew frontman Luther Campbell, who now coaches defense for a high school football team in the same Miami neighborhood in which he grew up. Among the revelations: Campbell might have five children with five different women, but he's now married to a law...
Jeter Is For Obama; A-Rod Is For Romney: Who Are Sports Figures Voting For Today?
Who should you be rooting for today? Here's a list of some notable athletes and other sports figures who are endorsing either Barack Obama or Mitt Romney....
Perry Jones III Loves Pizza Rolls
Oklahoma City Thunder rookie Perry Jones III loves pizza rolls. Our source for this? Perry Jones III....
Who Is Being Told To Stick To Basketball Today? (LeBron James. It's LeBron James.)
It's Election Day! On Monday, LeBron James urged his followers in a gentle and oblique way to vote for Barack Obama. This is a thing that people to do in America, even sports stars. Another thing that people do in America: tell other people not talk about politics, especially sports stars....
Terry Bradshaw's "Bucket Of Chicken" Comment Was About Jimmy Johnson, Who Apparently Loves Chicken
On Sunday, Terry Bradshaw made a comment about Reggie Bush "chasing a bucket of chicken" while doing the highlights on Fox's NFL halftime show. Today, he went on WFAN to explain that his comment wasn't racially motivated, but rather a reference to an inside joke about fellow analyst Jimmy Johnson's...
Who Are The Computers Voting For? We Ask Siri And Others For Advice
I'm about to go vote, and I haven't read up much on the issues. I don't know which candidate loves America more or who has the bigger penis. So I asked the only objective sources I could find: computers. In case you're still on the fence, I've copied their advice below. ...