ty Page 700 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ozzie Guillen Suspended For Comments On Fidel Castro
The Miami Marlins have suspended manager Ozzie Guillen for five games after an interview in Time in which Guillen made comments interpreted as pro-Castro. Guillen said he "love[s] Fidel Castro…I respect Fidel Castro. You know why? A lot of people have wanted to kill Fidel Castro for the last 60 year...
![Vladimir Guerrero Is Wanted By Police In The Dominican Republic For Allegedly Starting A Brawl At A Club [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17j5m4ucsda60jpg.jpg)
Vladimir Guerrero Is Wanted By Police In The Dominican Republic For Allegedly Starting A Brawl At A Club [UPDATED]
Details are still sketchy, but according to reports out of the Dominican Republic, police in Santo Domingo have issued an all-points bulletin to be on the lookout for former MLB outfielder Vladimir Guerrero. It seems Guerrero is accused of starting a brawl at a disco. This is from the Dominican Toda...

Three Fat Ex-Packers Linemen Have A Wine Label Called "Three Fat Guys"
What do people in Wisconsin like? Yup, the Packers. And what do people in Wisconsin also like? Yup, alcohol....

Barack Obama Has Lost His Shooting Touch
The White House held its annual Easter Egg Roll today, the day after Easter for some reason. And because the First Lady's pet project is getting our nation's fatty-fat-fat children up and moving, the whole thing had a basketball theme....

Report: Basketball Hero Skip Bayless Actually Averaged 1.4 Points Per Game As A High School Senior
About a week ago, we told you about the high school exploits of "starting point guard" Skip Bayless. According to Skip, he started for the team that would eventually lose in the state finals. Turns out, Skip Bayless is a fibber. Or, maybe his coach just had an unconventional way of constructing his...

Baylor Hoops Teams Were Really Big On The Illegal Text Messages
Stop me if you've heard this before, but a school that quickly rose to athletic prominence is now facing punishment for a myriad of recruiting violations. This time it's the Bears of Baylor, who were found by an NCAA probe to have racked up nearly 2,000 impermissible phone calls and text messages to...

Mario Balotelli Won't Be Doing Things On A Soccer Pitch For Awhile After A Shameful Sunday Display
Mario Balotelli's season is likely over, as is his career with Manchester City after a reckless display at Ashburton Grove during City's 1-0 loss to Arsenal yesterday....

Someone Should Just Blow Up The Orlando Magic At This Point
In the ongoing Dwight Howard-Stan Van Gundy bitchfest, there is only one true solution: just get rid of everyone. Trade Howard. Fire Van Gundy and general manager Otis Smith. Then sell the team. Until then Orlando will have a superstar who does not want to be there being coached by a coach who does...

Gregg Williams Is Essentially The Evil Sensei From <em>The Karate Kid</em>
Perhaps Saints ex-coordinator Gregg Williams reminded you of John Kreese, the Cobra Kai's sensei in The Karate Kid. But the diabolical minds at Slate didn't let things stop there: they recut the film with audio of Williams' locker-room speech. Bone-chilling. Dig it. [Slate]...

Mario Balotelli Does Things (Including Wayne Rooney's Prostitute)
It's been a banner week in Super Mario World. Saturday, Balotelli scored two goals, fought over who got to take a free kick, was offered for sale by his manager, did or didn't get in a postmatch fight in the locker room, and yesterday, crashed his Bentley in Manchester....

FIU Survives The Isiah Thomas Era
Florida International fired Isiah Thomas as head coach today, after three seasons in which the Golden Panthers won 7, 11, and 8 games. On the bright side, there have been no major lawsuits or violations. They have not become the laughingstock of college hoops. The program still exists. I would call ...

Amateur Hour For Drunks: A Dispatch From Opening Day In America
(This article was originally published at DesigNate Robertson. Photos by the author.)...

"Kill The Fucking Head": Gregg Williams Told The Saints To Destroy The 49ers' Brains
What you're listening to is Gregg Williams hyping up the Saints before their playoff game with San Francisco. It becomes clear that New Orleans's bounty program was less about monetary reward and all about a mindset of agression, and punishment, and maliciously hitting the shit out of opposing pl...

This Howard University Scandal Is Just The Dumbest
News leaked yesterday that Howard University was suspending all athletic programs while it self-investigated possible NCAA violations, and that the problems stemmed from improper student-athlete use of their textbook allowances. A new day brings more details—and a semi-clarification from the univers...

Bernard Pollard Says The Saints' Bounty Punishment Is Just About The Dumbest Thing Ever
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Pollard has had it up to here with Roger Goodell....
![Howard University Suspends Entire Athletic Program [UPDATES]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17ikhptsxk8dgjpg.jpg)
Howard University Suspends Entire Athletic Program [UPDATES]
Washington City Paper reports that Howard University is temporarily suspending all sports teams and all upcoming games while they investigate...something. The school's terse statement:...

Baltimore Orioles Find A New Way To Lose To The Baltimore Orioles
Near the end of spring training, major league teams will sometimes schedule an exhibition match against a local minor league or college squad. It provides for some local buzz, the minor league team gets to say they played against major league talent, some money often goes to charity, and everyone go...

Science! Simulates The Kentucky Wildcats Vs. The Washington Wizards
Paul Bessire runs PredictionMachine.com and created the Predictalator, the most advanced sports forecasting software available today. The technology has the ability to account for all of the statistical interactions of the players, coaches, officials, and fans (homefield advantage) in each game. The...

Robert Griffin III Celebrates His Last Winning Moment In A Long Time
We're not really sure why RGIII got to climb the ladder to cut the nets after Baylor's women's basketball team beat Notre Dame in last night's NCAA title game. Must have been the important role he played in the Lady Bears' victory....
