ty Page 767 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your College Football Afternoon Games Open Thread
Well, Utah at Notre Dame's probably already about a half-hour old at this point, so let's turn some attention to the afternoon's noteworthy contests....

It Looks Like Soccer Player Rio Ferdinand Got Stone-Cold Fisted The Other Day
I shudder to even post this, as the nil-nil Man U vs. Man City match from earlier in the week should produce triple-digit variations of the "Me hate soccer; they no score a lot" line....

The One Where Kenny Mayne Jokes About Brett Favre's Penchant For Public Nudity
T'was a simpler time when ESPN's Kenny Mayne pitched a witty skit into which he led, "Legendary is faint praise for Brett Favre when he quarterbacks in the bitter cold of Green Bay. It's then that No. 4 elevates to immortal....

Auburn Pep Rally Turns Into Sappy Sing-A-Long
Things have been a little contentious at Auburn the last few days, so at a pep rally last night, the community decided the best show to show solidarity and focus on their championship aspirations, and not the current unpleasantness, was a sing-a-long....

Column-Kicking Lady Hockey Fan Sought By Authorities
Yesterday, we brought you the delightful video of the seemingly inebriated Bruins fan kicking a hole through a column in a TD Garden restroom. We all had some laughs and moved on, with the exception of TD Garden officials....

Last Night's Winner: Saying N-O To Lingerie Football In OKC
Sorry Oklahoma City. If you want to watch a bunch of struggling models play a loose simulacrum of football, you'll just have to watch it on TV like everybody nobody else....

Small-Business Owner Does Not Appreciate Young Turk Messing With His Bushes
When you have a row of bushes in front of your shop, you want them to look pristine. A well-tended exterior shows your business is also well-tended. It's understandable you'd be upset if skateboarders repeatedly fucked with your shit....

The Woozy, Loogie-Hocking Aftermath Of The New York City Marathon: A Video
Finishing a marathon is an amazing accomplishment. It is also, as that David Fleming story reminded us, a rather dehumanizing and soul-crushing endeavor. As far as we know, the New York City Marathon was poop-free this year, but wobble-free? Not at all....

Taiwanese Animators Address That Rugby-Player-Getting-Blown-By-A-Dog Thing
This popped up about as fast as it takes to end your career after getting blown by your teammate's dog. [NMA.tv]...

Weekend Winner: The Resumption Of A Rivalry
My God, it's good to have the Chiefs/Raiders games mean something, isn't it? Especially when you compare it to the current state of the classic Packers/Cowboys showdown, where it looked like Green Bay starters against their taxi squad....

Now That's What I Call A Buzzer Beater
Down two with two seconds left, Sam Kenny of Kansas's Baker University stole the inbound and threw up a desperation heave from half court. It went in. College basketball is upon us, America. Rejoice. [KCTV]...

C.J. Spiller Is Prepared For His First Buffalo Winter
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

How To Cover A Dog Sex Scandal: Just Another Day At Deadspin
Sometimes, we get stories that even we aren't sure what to do with. Here's a transcript of a discussion on how to package a story about a rugger with his dick in a dog's mouth. This is how your sausage gets made....

The Frantic Search For The Cowboys Lap Dance Girl
The titillating yet kind of gross video caused a bit of a stir yesterday, so it was natural that the young lady's identity would become a topic of discussion. Our first clue: the oft-lifted shirt....

What We Talk About When We Talk About A Dog Blowing An Australian Rugby Player (NSFW)
And here's a story from the Australian rugby universe sure to leave your brain a scrambled mess. To sum up: Canberra Raiders center Joel Monaghan decided to get drunkenly intimate with his teammate's dog. A picture was taken, it went viral, now he may be kicked out of the league....

<em>Don Balon</em>’s List Of The 100 Best Young Soccer Players In The World
Don Balon is a Spanish football magazine with a good line in fate-tempting articles predicting the next generation of world superstars....

If You’re Not Rich In America, You Are Fucked
There's an election coming up tomorrow, and I haven't paid any attention to it because, at this point, whatever asshole they stick in office will be no different from the asshole they stuck in there before....

Somebody Is Desperately Seeking Tim Tebow's Poo
Tim Tebow's pro team had a game across the Atlantic today, so I have no idea why the president of a portable-shitter company is talking about rooting around for Tebow dung. But Scott Taylor of Advanced Sanitation is....

Ashton, Demi In Sticky Recruiting Situation With Iowa Men's Basketball Team
According to the Des Moines Register, the University of Iowa has "admitted NCAA recruiting violations that involve husband-wife film stars Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore." Translation: They let a couple of recruits meet the "actor" and "actress."...