ty Page 769 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Lionel Messi’s Goals Look Just As Good Written Down
Here's the original version if you like your words to come with moving pictures....
Stories That Don't Suck: The Epic Tale Of America's Greatest Ping-Pong Hustler
Occasionally, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: newly minted Man Booker recipient Howard Jacobson on ping-pong's "boldest adventurer," Marty Reisman....
When The Mug Shot Says It All: George Maloof Arrested For DUI In His Driveway
The best thing about George Maloof's DUI arrest is that his mug shot is perhaps the exact mug you might imagine when you imagine a man named George Maloof. Eyebrows included....
Why Is Someone Who's Purportedly Pacman Jones In Handcuffs Again? (UPDATED)
According to cincinnati.247.sports, "the car [Pacman Jones] was driving was forced off the road and onto the sidewalk by another car. As a result Jones apparently hit a pedestrian....
Your NFL Early Games Open Thread
Anybody else not buying into the Kansas City undefeated resurgence? We'll know soon enough, considering they head into Indianapolis [Kansas City Star]. Other 1 p.m. games that look appealing: Denver at Baltimore, Giants at Texans, Packers at Skins....
Letter Chiding Baylor Students For Clogging Plumbing System With Semen Is Too Good To Be True, Alas
According to an anonymous tipster, the residence halls at Baylor were recently clogged with semen, leading to this desperate plea from one residence hall's director. Sadly, it's a fake, as our brief conversation with the hilariously put-upon director confirmed....
When Preseason Games Of Grab-Ass Go Wrong
Last night's Raptors-Suns game featured this delightful sequence in which Reggie Evans fouled Grant Hill, which led to the two engaging in a spirited round of ironic ass-slappery. Both players were ejected. Via Skeets....
This Backheel Goal Is The Best Goal You'll See Today
Our mates over at Off the Post have escalated the The Great Backheel War of 2010 by posting this piece of brilliance from Glentoran's Matty Burrows....
Who Wants To See A Photo Of Amar'e Stoudemire Jumping Naked Into A Pool?
It was you guys, right? That ESPN The Mag Body Issue, is really, uh, shaping up to be, uh, something. [via the seemingly appropriately named All Ball]...
Field Trip: Simmons And Gladwell At The New Yorker Festival, Falling In And Out Of Love
Ever wondered how the chummy love-fest email exchanges between Malcolm Gladwell and Bill Simmons translate when the two meet face-to-face? Well, it's kind of like when a "certain kind of person" meets another "certain kind of person." I'll explain....
Bud Selig Can't Hear You: A Gallery Of Metaphorically Rich Photos Of The Commissioner Cupping His Ear
The Dallas Observer has the latest entry in an ever-growing genre of sports photography: Bud Selig cupping his ear and straining to hear something that he'll probably just lie about anyway. Speak up, America. Bud can't quite make out what you're saying....
Let's Unpack The Best Parts Of The Clippers' White Party
Old sack of shit Donald Sterling hosted a white party for the Clippers this weekend (he's the one person in the photo here who isn't wearing white, natch). There was a lot of fun to be had. Let's take a look....
Meet Your New Undersized, Scraptastic, Very White New England Sports Cult Hero: Danny Woodhead
Danny Woodhead, the Jets castoff and Rex Ryan-anointed "little fucker," made his Patriots debut yesterday and is already being touted as the economy-sized Wes Welker. Chief among these proponents is Dan Shaughnessy. Of course. Let's look at the best of the worst....
Hockey To Get The <i>Hard Knocks</i> Treatment Too
HBO will film the Capitals and Penguins this December for a four-episode Hard Knocks-esque miniseries. Will there be Ryanian pottymouthage? "You might hear some salty language with a little Canadian or Russian flair," said a network exec. моргала выколю, падла!...
Dexter McCluster: Not Gangsta
Hmm. Well. Hmm. This is something. I think this public service announcement will only result in reminding me to drop McCluster from my fantasy team. [Pitch Weekly]...
Skeevy University of Florida Professor Fired For Inappropriate Ines Sainz Reference
"The University of Florida has fired a professor for saying during a lesson about sexual harassment that Latin American women dress more provocatively than U.S. women." Read more about Professor Taylor — he appears to have some lady issues. [Gainesville Sun]...
A Video Compilation Of Baseball's Dangerous Broken Bats
Following the unceremonious end to Tyler Colvin's season, Wezen-Ball put together a fairly succinct montage of dangerous broken bats that were put into play during MLB games. Baseball is the new Thunderdome. [Wezen-Ball]...
Here's a Video of a Cat on the Turntables
Meet DJ Kitty. He's kind of a rally monkey but from the looks at this official MLB video of him attempting to get Tampa Bay Rays fans to jumpjumpjump..., he's got strings all over him for marketing's sake. [MLB.com]...
Yep, a Chicago Cub Just Got Impaled on a Broken Bat
Tyler Colvin is in stable condition at a local hospital after being impaled in his upper left chest by a piece of broken bat during Sunday's game at Sun Life Stadium....