ty Page 831 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

It Appears That Mike Tyson Might Need Some Help Or Something
This is going to come as a shock to most of you — it certainly came as a shock to us — but former heavyweight champion and all-around beacon of stability Mike Tyson has never been in rehab before. Seriously: With all the madness that has gone on with Tyson throughout his life, he's never been to reh...

Daulerio at SBXLI: Do Not Bother Matt Geiger When He's Talking To Penthouse Pets
AJ Daulerio has been Deadspin's "correspondent" all week at the Super Bowl in Miami. He wraps up his coverage today with two tales. The first is from the Penthouse Party on Friday night....

Daulerio at SBXLI: Yes, Somehow Freddie Mitchell Got Into the Maxim Party
Maxim's Superbowl Shitshow party was everything one could hope for and so much more. The Sagamore Hotel transformed itself into a beachfront paradise with celebrities and athletes, and, of course FredEx and his Godly hands cavorting about the joint. Freddie Mitchell was attached to Irishman Brady Qu...

Why You Shouldn't Randomly Promise Tickets To Strangers
When your team makes the Super Bowl, sometimes some promises you've made in the past come back to haunt you. That's what happened to Bears safety Chris Harris, who was on public access earlier this year and found himself in a situation where his mouth was writing checks his ticket stash couldn't cas...

The Tough Life Of A Backup Lineman For The Lions
You know what the problem with flight attendants are? You don't? Well, WE'LL TELL YA....

Oh Schotty, How Can We Stay Mad At You?
Well you won't have Marty Schottenheimer to kick around any more, you ungrateful ... oh wait, sorry. Yes you will. The Chargers announced on Wednesday that their embattled head coach will be sticking around in 2007, as the organization adopts a "Let's just wait and see what happens" attitude that pl...

Chandler: In Which I Am Determined To Make Tom Brady The Next Great Basketball Star
Deadspin associate editor Rick Chandler made a rather surprising confession to us the other day, and we demanded he write about it. So he now has the floor....

Goodnight, Marty: Don't Let The Door Hit You
We're not sure what more one can say about Chargers coach Marty Schottenheimer. We do have a suggestion though: Maybe it's time to start wearing that headset like every other coach. That way, perhaps you won't end up challenging calls that obviously aren't going to be overturned, costing you a timeo...

You Think You're A Real Hotshot, Don't You?
"Hold it right there, crackerjack. Before you grab your crotch and spin like a whirlin' dervish, you gotta learn how to skate with safety! And just how can you learn? Don't worry, we've brought in the master of safety ... Meet Tom. He's the Executive Director of the Pro/Am Skateboard Racing Associat...

Winter Sports, The Full Monty And You
Meet Austrian two-time Olympic bronze medalist Rainer Sch nfelder, shown here shooshing about at a crisp 0.5 degrees Celsius, his privates most likely resembling those of a laboratory mouse. Don't worry girls, it's only shrinkage! See you at the lodge! Thank God the bears are hibernating and didn't ...

BCS Blogdome: There's Got To Be A Morning After
What they're saying in Blogville about Florida's 41-14 win over Ohio State in Monday's BCS Championship Game ......

Chiefs vs. Colts: 4th Quarter
- Thanks to Tony Gonzalez and Trent Green's newfound testicles, the last fifteen minutes of this game might actually be worthwhile. The picture there is Larry Johnson's dad, and I thought we should probably feature him, as he's been as important to the outcome of this game as his son has....

Chiefs vs. Colts: 3rd Quarter
- It's halftime. The picture there to your right is Lawrence Tynes' field goal doinking off the post. Enjoy Jerome Bettis in the studio....

Chiefs vs. Colts: 2nd Quarter
- That's Julie Green again. Sorry... she made an impression. I just kind of assumed that Trent Green would be with someone who looked a little bit more matronly....

Chiefs vs. Colts: 1st Quarter
- Hello... welcome. That's Herm Edwards and Tony Dungy, and in case you didn't catch the NBC pregame show, they're friends. They really like each other. A lot....

Playoff Pants Party: Colts Vs. Chiefs
Because we're just now back and getting around to previewing these playoff matchups — jeez, we missed the whole playoff picture clearing up; we were gone longer than we realized — we thought we'd toss in one of these playoff previews today so the site isn't run over with them tomorrow....

Tubby Smith's Ineptitude Captured Through Majesty of Song
The delirious, one-track mind of University of Kentucky basketball fan "Katman", author of Tubby Smith bashing blog Dynasty Defenders, has reached a new level of absurdity thanks to this recently released "music" video which aims to spread the word of his deranged gospel via this YouTube masterpiec...

Nick Saban Brings Promise, Destruction to Alabama
Nick Saban and his presidential motorcade rolled into Tuscaloosa late yesterday afternoon may have startled gawking locals distracted by the big, fancy automobile rolling through town, as the Tuscaloosa News reports that "Saban's Motorcade Distracts Drivers":...

Week in Deadspin: Thirteen Ways to Sink a Sub
MDS [Deadspin] MJD [Deadspin] Skeets [Deadspin] My Dumb Ass [Deadspin]...

Cultural Oddsmaker: So, What's Everybody Doing for New Year's?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. A.J. Daulerio was denied a bank loan. Email him to let him know what you think....