ubs Page 77 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Deadspin's Sign Of The Apocalypse
For nearly two decades now, Sports Illustrated has stirred the tea leaves to discern a weekly Sign of the Apocalypse. Deadspin salutes the magazine's ongoing effort to head off the end of times, but declines to quietly cede to SI the scoop on the biggest event in world history....
The Astros Are Now Hurting Other People With Their Ineptitude
At first, we found the Houston Astros' nightly slapstick routine to be rather endearing, and it was easy to have laugh at their repeated shenanigans. But then, through no fault but their own, the Astros couldn't even run out simple ground balls without one of their own getting hurt....
The Nationals And Cubs Need To Work On Their Bench-Clearing Brawl Technique
#NATITUDE was on full display tonight at Nationals Park as an inside pitch to Bryce Harper, preceded by some jawing between Nationals third base coach Bo Porter and Cubs bench coach Jamie Quirk, led to perhaps the most anticlimactic bench-clearing brawl in baseball history. Lots of pushing, some ye...
How Joe Redner Invented The Lap Dance, Built A Strip-Club Empire, Became A Model Citizen, Fought For Your Rights, And Beat Cancer
Plenty in Tampa have said it or at least thought it over the years: mayors and newspaper columnists, city council members and cops, the street preachers who'd picket his business, the television callers who'd threaten his life. But last August this was no longer a question of morality. Joe Redner re...
David DeJesus Drew A Walk And Got Hit By A Pitch During The Same Plate Appearance
Last night, someone in the Cubs' bullpen plunked the Cubs' own batter, David DeJesus, who had just drawn a walk to lead off the eighth. That same bullpen then gave up nine runs in the ninth. May the Cubs never cease being the Cubs....
Robert Flores Plugs His Own Idea For An ESPN Quiz Show
No word yet on when it will air, but good on Flores for having a sense of humor about it. If we're really lucky, Andy Katz will be able to provide some colorful commentary....
It's Official: Watching The Cubs Goes Hand In Hand With Getting Punched In The Balls
Fans of the Cubs have been saying it for years, and while we've always believed it to be true, we never had any actual proof. But there it is....
Cubs Trainer Mark O'Neal Suffers Mid-Game Middle Finger Sprain
The Cubs ended an eight-game losing streak last night by dispatching the Reds, but it seems not everybody in the organization was happy. Here's trainer Mark O'Neal telling slugger Alfonso Soriano exactly what he thinks about Soriano's fouling a pitch off right in O'Neal's direction. (Soriano later ...
Yesterday's Flood Of Berserk Baseball Team Facebook Posts Were Made By A Rogue MLB Employee
We thought yesterday's series of wacky Facebook posts appearing on MLB team pages was the work of a very skilled—and very quick—hacker. As it turns out, we were wrong. Not long after we put up our post a Facebook spokesperson issued us the following statement:...
![New York Yankees Facebook Page Announces Derek Jeter To Miss Rest Of Season Due To Sex Change [UPDATE: A Bunch Of Other Teams Hacked Too]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17ur204irbhscpng.png)
New York Yankees Facebook Page Announces Derek Jeter To Miss Rest Of Season Due To Sex Change [UPDATE: A Bunch Of Other Teams Hacked Too]
It's gone now, but it seems the Yankees' Facebook was hacked just now as it posted this breaking news about Derek Jeter's upcoming sexual reassignment surgery. Congratulations to the hacker; we didn't even know they had the Internet in Boston....
Visual Confirmation That Mario Seneca Is The Most Sensitive Umpire In Baseball History
Last night, we told you about minor league umpire Mario Seneca, who ejected the music guy/college intern working for the high-A Daytona Cubs for playing "Three Blind Mice" after a questionable call. Today, video of the incident has surfaced (thanks to the Daytona Cubs themselves) and it confirms o...
![Cubs Fan's Scoreboard Marriage Proposal Runs While His Girlfriend's In The Bathroom [Non-Pooping Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17uj6w0geatsgpng.png)
Cubs Fan's Scoreboard Marriage Proposal Runs While His Girlfriend's In The Bathroom [Non-Pooping Update]
Poor Greg. All that money, time and emotional torture that went in to taking out a scoreboard message at yesterday's Cubs game asking his girlfriend to marry him. And then, after a half-hour long bottom of the fifth, just as the proposal was set to run, the girlfriend leaves her seat. (Perhaps she w...
Yes, Theo Epstein's Accused Stalker Wore A Red Sox Shirt To Her Mental Competency Hearing
The Harvard-educated crazy lady who showed up in Chicago last week on Cubs GM Theo Epstein's doorstep can't sue us for calling her "crazy lady," it turns out. Kathleen Kearney was named a ward of the state of Massachusetts nine years ago because of mental illness, and she was released on bond in Ill...
Jose Reyes Home Run Drills Wrigley Field Usher In The Back
The Marlins announcers were oddly impressed that Reyes was able to hit one out to right even with the wind at Wrigley blowing in, but a reader named Justin happened to notice where the ball actually lands. The best view is at the end of the clip below, beginning right around the 41-second mark. Yep....
Will Ferrell, Zach Galifianakis, And Ryan Dempster Ate Pizza Together On The Wrigley Field Mound
Celebrities dropping by Wrigley Field to promote their latest piece of crap is nothing new, though we're not sure if tonight's stunt before the Marlins-Cubs game has ever been done before....
Jay Cutler: I AM SO JACKED UP FOR "TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALLGAME"
Relax, Jay. Relax. It's only July and the Cubs stink anyway. We appreciate the enthusiasm, though. ...
ESPN Reports The Diamondbacks-Cubs Game Is Being Delayed By Snow
As far as we know, there is no snow at Wrigley Field on July 13. But we will update you if we learn that there is snow at Wrigley Field on July 13....
Guy Sues Strip Club For Billing $50,000 To His Credit Card
Lokesh Simon James went to the Bliss Cabaret in Clearwater, Fla., one night in March. He estimates having spent $600 in three hours. His credit card bill later indicated he rang up $50,000, and because James admits he was at the club on the night in question, his credit card company refuses to count...
Chicago Paper: Cubs Not A Total Train Wreck, Like That Actual Train Wreck On The Front Page
The Cubs have been a mess for a while, so expectations have been a bit...lowered, let's say. To that end, the Daily Herald decided to take a page from Theo Epstein's "parallel-track" outlook for remaining competitive (woops!) in 2012 while also building for the future and run with it for a "mid-sea...
Dontrelle Willis Retires. Mark Prior Tries To Make A Comeback. Baseball Remains A Sadistic Bastard.
Dontrelle Willis retired on Monday at the age of 30, bringing to an end one of the most baffling baseball careers of the past decade. The day before, Mark Prior, nursing an oblique strain, threw a bullpen session for the Pawtucket Red Sox. He hadn't pitched in a game since June 21, when he scuffled ...