uk Page 161 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Chartered Flights To China And Dubai Is Pretty Much The Most Dook Thing Ever
"A Duke spokesman said Wednesday he could not reveal the total cost of the charter flights, but the president of a flight chartering company unaffiliated with the Blue Devils ... calculated that the total cost of the charter flights was about $1.1 million..." [The Dagger]...
Exit Felix Pie; Luke Scott Will Have To Find A New Dark-Skinned Teammate To Throw Banana Chips At
Baseball's most discomfiting buddy comedy is near cancellation: Yesterday, the Baltimore Orioles designated outfielder Felix Pie for assignment, effectively ending his role as the some-of-my-best-friends-are-black clubhouse foil for redneck performance artist Luke Scott. ...
Ukulele Boob Girl Will Do Anything You Ask If You Vote For Her Again
Remember Sarah H., the lovely damsel who desperately pleaded for your votes in some sort of freakish marketing contest by playing a ukulele nestled under her breasts? Well, she's emailing again, claiming that the freakish marketing people somehow turned her 1,500-vote advantage into a 12-vote defic...
Dumb Corporate Beef Becomes Dumb Kobe Bryant-Brandon Jennings Beef
Under Armour has unleashed a new marketing campaign based around the idea that they're a "Change Agent" in the world of sports gear. The company even released a spoken-word promotional video that includes the sentence "Welcome to the revolution." It does a good job of subliminally positioning Under ...
I Hope Andy Dalton's Head Was Worth $20K To Ndamukong Suh
Ndamukong Suh burst into the NFL by trying to wrench Jake Delhomme's skull from his torso, perhaps to keep on his mantel. Suh seems to be making a habit of thinning the mediocre QB herd in preseason, with this weekend's takedown of Cincinnati's Andy Dalton....
Our Five Favorite Funny Athlete Movie/TV Appearances
Plenty of athletes are funny. But these are our top 5 performances by athletes being funny on purpose in a movie or tv show....
Get To Know A Comic You Probably Don't Know: Matt Goldich
Who? Matt is from Philadelphia, though he started performing in New York while he was a writer on Stump The Schwab. He went on to write for The Late Show with David Letterman. Matt's style is subtle and hyperarticualte. Watch the first joke on his clip because it is one of my favorite jokes by a c...
Get To Know A Comic You Probably Don't Know: Kyle Grooms
Who? Kyle Grooms is originally from New Jersey but started his stand-up career on South Florida's urban comedy scene. Style is quick and clever, punchlines come after the beat, a little like Dave Attell but structured around stories like Birbiglia....
Get To Know A Comic You Probably Don't Know: Wil Sylvince
Who? Haitian-American Wil Sylvince started doing comedy in New York City. He's a physical comic—meaning a lot of his jokes end in act outs and most of Wil's involve his family. His style is a mash-up of David Alan Grier and Ray Romano. I cannot do this guy justice with a description. Watch the cl...
Get To Know A Comic You Probably Don't Know: Sean Patton
Who? Sean Patton is a comic originally from New Orleans, arriving as part of group from New Orleans along with Mark Normand and Neal Statsny. Sean works in a free association style. The audience never knows where the punchline is coming and in that way his jokes feel almost like magic tricks....
Brewers Pitcher Fiddles With Scissors, Loses
"Narveson was fiddling with his glove with a pair of scissors when the scissors somehow slipped and sliced his left thumb. That would be the thumb on his pitching hand. Eight stitches were needed to close the wound, Brewers manager Ron Roenicke said." [Sporting News]...
Our Resident Comedian Explains: How Do I Become A Comedy Writer?
Earlier, Drew mentioned the harrowing, unstable process of writing for TV. It is a blast if you get hired. If the show goes to series and you are staffed, you are now making around $200K minimum on a union show. That is more money than my family has made in generations. I would fill up my bathtub an...
Five For Fighting: Comics Vs. Hecklers
There are hecklers at almost every comedy show. They are not to be encouraged and never welcome. They are a nuisance. They change the rhythm of the show because they want attention....
"Your Dad Was A Shitty NBA Player." My Ill-Fated Showdown With A Teenaged Kobe Bryant
In June of 1995, I turned 16 and had a massive growth spurt. In about two months I grew from 6-1 to 6-5. For most of the summer I walked around my house in Upper Darby, Penn., with ice packs on my knees because of growing pains. By early August, I returned to our local court with a newfound ability:...
Deadspin Comedy Week FAQs, With Your Host Luke X. Cunningham
Hi. I'm Luke. I'll be your guest curator for Deadspin Comedy Week. Here are some FAQs about it you may or may not have about it, but I'll answer them anyway and introduce myself....
Sarah Silverman Helps Kick Off Deadspin's Second Attempt At Comedy Week
Some of you may notice how we've attempted to initiate some theme weeks into our editorial content this past year, including topics that have little or no connection to sports whatsoever. Last April's Comedy Week was our first trip into this uncharted territory, done in conjunction with our former f...
Tony La Russa's Tortured, Petulant Justification For Plunking Ryan Braun, As Read By A 4-Year-Old Boy
You can watch Tony La Russa try and fail to justify himself — he cycles through logical fallacies as if they were middle relievers in a 5-4 ballgame against the Reds — or you can watch young Mack Scocca-Ho capture the essence of La Russa's monologue in the video above....
Some People Don't See The Humor In Bears Drinking Vodka For Human Entertainment
Per Reuters Life!, Ukraine's Environment Minister Mykola Zlochevsky told Interfax, "On television, they keep showing bears suffering in restaurants and roadside hotels. How long can we tolerate animal torture in restaurants where drunken guests make bears drink vodka for laughs?"...
How The Brewers' And Cardinals' Broadcast Crews Reacted To The Ryan Braun Plunking Last Night
The Cardinals plunked the Brewers with a couple clauses of baseball's unwritten rules in an 8-7, extra-inning win last night. After Albert Pujols was hit in the hand by an errant Takashi Saito pitch in the top of the seventh, Cards pitcher Jason Motte twice threw at Ryan Braun, connecting on the s...
Tony La Russa Doesn't Like The Way Brewers Fans Heckle Him
"When they start cursing your family ... The funniest one was a guy said [sic], 'I hope you get shingles again.' That's just stupid." [Post-Dispatch]...