uk Page 162 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ichiro's Doppelganger Tried To Sabotage The Mariners Last Night
Have we not yet learned our lesson, America? Is Bartman's ultimate cautionary tale still not enough? Let the players make their plays. Even if you happen to look eerily similar to one of them....

Thankfully, Nyjer Morgan Has Continued Giving Postgame Interviews In Character
Yes, the Brewers have won seven in a row and opened up moderate leads on not-good-enough St. Louis and really-not-good-enough Pittsburgh, but that success isn't the most exciting thing in Milwaukee baseball. Nor is Prince Fielder's contract year or John Axford's mustache or the Yuniesky Betancourt...

The Best 9-Year Old Girl Pro Wrestler You'll See All Day
From Japanese women's wrestling promotion Stardom comes this amazing match pitting Canadian Kenny Omega against Haruka, the tiny terror of the turnbuckles. And before you dismiss it as just a cute stunt, give Haruka a chance — she combines the technical skills of Dean Malenko, the high-flying abil...

Toni Kukoc, Accused Of Visiting Prostitutes, Shrugs
From the Croatian Times:...

The Incomparable Ichiro Swings Through
Two surefire Hall of Famers played in the Bronx last night. One is having the worst season of his career at 37 years old, hitting nearly 60 points off his lifetime average, and still getting paid $17 million. The other one is Derek Jeter....

Here's Ndamukong Suh Dancing To Katy Perry's "Hot N Cold"
When we last checked in on Ndamukong Suh, he was eating himself. Now he's tweeting himself dancing to "Hot n Cold." This is his first and likely last Katy-Perry-inspired video, as the lockout looks close to over and he'd have to get a permit to strap fireworks to his chest in Michigan. [Complex]...

Brandon Jennings Was On Time For This Alley-Oop To Himself
Bucks guard Brandon Jennings did his best Kevin Durant impression in a self-assisted, fast-break alley-oop at Baltimore's Melo Center earlier this week. His timing was impeccable....

Is Baseball To Blame For The Pathetic State Of Pie Throwing?
So some dope interrupted the Murdoch family's stammering and mumbling today by "throwing a pie" at Rupert Murdoch, which actually meant waving a styrofoam plate in Murdoch's direction as some sort of foam slid off it, till Mrs. Rupert Murdoch jumped up and clobbered the "pie" guy....

Dook Sisters Go To Court Over Who's Dookier
The daughter of a Duke alumnus has filed a lawsuit against her sister, her brother-in-law, and Duke University for her inherited right to sit among these fine young men and women at Cameron Indoor Stadium all season long. Katina Dorton is seeking damages for the "fraudulent transfer" of two season t...

Here's Video Of A Ukrainian Goalkeeper Making What Has To Be The Worst Play Of His Career
In Ukrainian Premier League action yesterday, a Volyn Lutsk defender scored from roughly 45 yards out during a match against Kryvbas Krivyi Rih. He did so by passing the ball to his own goalkeeper, Vitaliy Nedilko, who had a difficult time of stopping it before it cost his side a 1-0 loss....

Blotto Teenage Brewers Fan Soils Himself And Falls Down Stairs At Miller Park
A few years back, the New York Times had a piece about Wisconsin's drinking problem. "When it comes to drinking, it seems, no state keeps pace with Wisconsin," they wrote. It was bad, they said, in large part because Wisconsin bars and restaurants allow minors to drink in the presence of parents o...

Kobayashi Somehow Sets A New, Totally Unofficial Hot Dog Eating Record
With the Empire State Building as a backdrop and a drag queen named Mimi Imfurst cracking jokes about stuffing wieners into Anderson Cooper's mouth, Takeru Kobayashi executed an improbably perfect "up yours" to the Nathan's hot dog eating contest, from which he's been barred over a long-running cont...

The Lonesome Independence Day Of Kobayashi, Eater In Exile
On a May evening, in a cramped biergarten behind a German restaurant off the Bowery in Manhattan, Takeru Kobayashi sat down to a plate of Rheinischer Sauerbraten mit Kartoffelklößen und Rotkraut. First, he produced a small camera and began photographing the sauerbraten for his blog, where he catalog...

Luke Fickell Didn't Answer Terrelle Pryor's Call Because He Was At A Taylor Swift Concert
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the incoming coach and the outgoing QB, just ships passing in the night....

Brewers Fan Tells Nyjer Morgan To Go Fly A Kite, So Nyjer Morgan Goes And Flies A Kite
More evidence that Nyjer Morgan is a singular soul: Reader Todd responded to one of those tweets that public figures always release into the Twittersphere to make their followers feel acknowledged (this one: "Wat should ur boy do today?"), only this public figure (sure, why not?) happened to be Nyje...

A List Of People To Whom The Internet Has Compared Kyle Singler
Some comparisons, culled from the Internet in advance of Kyle Singler's being drafted approximately one round too early tomorrow. Sic'd:...

These Two Guys Would've Gotten Away With Busting Into Coors Field If It Wasn't For A Pesky Security Guard
Your morning roundup for June 19, the day some sexy finally came out of the Vancouver riots (it starts at 0:45 of this video), and the day we all wish a Happy Father's Day to the appropriate person in our lives....

Duke Tweets The Dookiest Tweet Imaginable
I'd be a very happy man if someone in the University of Arizona public relations department retweeted this. [@DukeNews]...

The Canucks Are On The Verge Of Historical Mediocrity
If the Bruins go on to win the Stanley Cup despite an inferior resume to that of the Canucks, no one will blink. There's nothing unusual about the better team losing a playoff series. Seven games isn't enough to guarantee a representative result. But if the Canucks win, they'll cap off one of the mo...

Milwaukee's Nyjer Morgan Provides The Post-Game Interview Of The Season
Nyjer Morgan, the most glorious weirdo in Major League Baseball, put the Mets away with a walk-off double in the bottom of the ninth in Milwaukee last night. In his post-game interview with Fox Sports Wisconsin, Prince Fielder provided Morgan with a Gatorade bath, which this time around consisted ...