uk Page 183 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Pick Your Poison: Duke Or UNC
The College Basketball Closer is written by the gang at Storming The Floor....
In Case You Missed It, Duke Is Awesome Again
Don't know if you've noticed, by while you were looking away, Duke became awesome again....
Clearly, The First Cubs' Japanese Player
Because we're hankering for baseball already and need something to get our dander up, here's the new marketing campaign the Cubs have put together for Kosuke Fukudome. Looks great, right? Well ... that image is a rather offensive one for millions of people....
Greg Paulus Flops Like A Champion
If you needed any more proof that Duke will always, always be Duke, here's the egregious flops from Duke's Greg Paulus during last night's Duke-Florida State game....
Revenge Of The Duke Hobbits
Jonah Keri writes the college basketball closer (more or less) daily. E-mail your questions, comments or Clarence Ceasar-related memories to [email protected]....
Chargers vs. Titans, Second Half and Goodnight
It's been a while since I last checked in, but it's still the same football game. We're well into the third quarter of the final game of Wild Card Weekend '08 Bukkake and this game is dragging along with a score of 6-3. Tennessee is winning, Floats (pictured) i really crappy, and LaDainian is still...
Kevin Youkilis' Slump Buster
You encourage Red Sox first baseman Kevin Youkilis to cash in on every endorsement opportunity he has; even in Boston, championships are a rare thing, and you gotta get yours while you can. Which is why we appreciate his new Slump Buster beverage....
Our On-Site Report From The Ice Bowl
Jack Kukoda is a native of Buffalo, NY and is a writer for the Onion News Network. He lives in New York City now. And he was at the outdoors Sabres-Penguins game yesterday and files this most amusing report....
SHOTY Final Four: Elijah Dukes Vs. Isiah Thomas
Because it's New Years Eve, and we're taking tomorrow off, we figured we'd go ahead and let this post ride the rest of the night and all day tomorrow. (At least until we do our "ZOOOOK" post after the Illini shock the world in the Rose Bowl.)...
Cultural Oddsmaker: III
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday ... well, the next two Fridays, anyway. Yes, after more than a year of goodness, Mr. Daulerio is retiring the Cultural Oddsmaker column at the beginning of 2008. There are now THREE left. Email him to let him know how much you'll miss him. Happy Fri...
Elijah Dukes Might Have Some Lady Issues
Just in time for the SHOTY Quarterfinals, our old pal Elijah Dukes is at it again. The guy just can't help himself; his fingers just tap threatening text messages as if they have a mind of their own....
The Growing Legend Of Brian Suksomwong
On Friday we told the inspiring story of former UCLA marching band member Brian Suksomwong, whose name single-handedly chased away the dark clouds of the Mitchell Report to bring us the sweet, warm sunshine of laughter. Then, as Skeets pointed out over the weekend, Bruins Nation took exception to th...
Could This Be, At Long Last, The World's Funniest Name?
Just when this Mitchell Report business had about pummeled us senseless, one brave man marched forward to bring forth laughter once again. And he didn't have to say a word. Sorry, Kosuke Fukudome ... but this guy's name has got you beat. In fact, this just may be the best name ever. Say it with me, ...
Yes America, The K-Fuk Era Is Here
Move over, Stubby Clapp. One side, Rusty Kuntz. There's a new sheriff in town. Cubs fans — and America — get ready to welcome Kosuke Fukudome to Major League Baseball, and into your hearts. The Japanese outfielder has agreed in principal to a four-year, $48 million deal with Chicago, which means tha...
SHOTY Elite Eight: Elijah Dukes Vs. Gilbert Arenas
At last, we have completed the endless first round of the 2007 Sportshuman Of The Year tournament. It only took a month. Now we're down the nitty-gritty: The Elite Eight....
Two Attractive Humans, Walking Down The Street
For whatever reason, there are people who have been clamoring to see photos of Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson together. We do not know why....
Elijah Dukes Blends Right Into Dominican Baseball
If you thought Elijah Dukes would sit on his laurels and be happy with a first round SHOTY victory, then you sir, are a Rays fan praying to God he doesn't do anything stupid. Your prayers haven't been answered, but are very important to us and will be answered in the order they were received....
Get This ... Duke Now Hates ESPN
As we all know, Duke basketball and ESPN grew up together; slept on each other's sofas, double-dated, brought each other homework when the other was too hung over to make it to class. But now the relationship has become frosty. Hey, we all grow up, man. Duke and ESPN just don't like all of the same ...
Red Sox Wonder Where All That Free Yen Went
When the Red Sox bid that ridiculous amount just for the right to offer Daisuke Matsuzaka a contract, one of the ancillary benefits was supposed to be all the Japanese endorsements he would bring in. (And take away from the Yankees.) But it looks like that hasn't happened at all....