uk Page 184 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Yet Another Reason Never To Visit Hawaii
OK, maybe Duke's a little better than we realized. And maybe Illinois still hasn't learned how to shoot. Here you see Brian Randle, fouling someone, as usual. Duke's good again, everybody: Spread the word. Then cringe....
Welcome Back, Duke Haters
We know the college basketball is officially underway because ... everyone's Duke bile is building! We've missed it; it's nice having villains, even if they haven't actually done that much lately that was particularly villainous....
Everybody Keep Piling On Notre Dame!
As we come to the final death spasms of the glory/hideousness of the Notre Dame season, we stop to do a brief dance on the Irish grave. How bad has it become? Freaking Duke thinks it has a chance to win in South Bend this weekend....
SHOTY First Round: Elijah Dukes Vs. Jeff Reed
OK, folks ... it's time for the voting to begin. Let's all give big-up to the genius that is Jim Cooke for his official SHOTY graphic. The 2007 SHOTY voting will run every Tuesday and Thursday until, well, 2008 probably. We love Kige there....
Yao Vs. Yi: 250 Million Chinese Viewers Can't Be Wrong
It's a fine Friday afternoon as Awful Announcing asks the musical question, is anyone aware that the largest television audience ever for a sporting event could take place tonight? That's right folks, it's Yi vs. Yao! From the Houston Chronicle:...
Welcome To The Fukudome
As the baseball offseason enters its sixth day, it's already time to begin looking at our latest Japanese imports. In this case, it's another Hideki Matsui-type player, Kosuke Fukudome. Pronunciation could get a little dangerous. It's either co-SOO-kay FOO-coo-DOUGH-may or kuh-SUCK-ee FUCK-a-DOME....
Duke, North Carolina Make It Rain
Back off, people! We know that there's a drought, and you're thirsty. But this water is being saved to drench the synthetic turf at the field hockey stadium. We have our priorities at Duke University....
You Should See The Portion Of The Costume That Fell Off During Mile 3
If you like marathons, and AJ Daulerio, then feast on this! It's from the Chicago Marathon, via 100 Percent Injury Rate, who got it from some site called Avant/Chicago. The funny part is that when you go there, it's all normal, bland photos of people running, until you trip over this one....
We're Back and We're Rollin'
In case you didn't notice, or you're just waking up, we got off to a very late start today. All the server issues are behind us and we're ready for a full day of sports NFL Football! We're hurting a bit on time so instead of providing you with a television schedule and/or game previews for the day,...
Your National League Clusterphooey
All due respect to the playoffs next week, but we can't fathom a much more exciting turkeyshoot than the National League this weekend. We're three days away from the end of the season, and not a single team has clinched, with seven still in the chase. It's insane....
Every Day Is Father's Day For Prince Fielder
If neither the awesome might of the robotic 12-person beer bong nor the motivational power of free rectal exams are enough to help the Brewers catch the Cubs in the NL Central, then perhaps Prince Fielder's red-hot animosity toward his father is. Fielder The Younger hit home runs No. 49 and 50 on Tu...
New Power Generation
If only he had hit a 'Glam Slam' ... Prince Fielder's NL-leading and franchise record 46th homerun gave the Brewers an edge as Milwaukee beat Cincinnati, 5-3, to gain some ground in NL Central race. Milwaukee sits a game behind the Cubs, who split two against the Cardinals....
Scrape The Brewers Off The Outfield Wall; This Race Is Tied
Call me old fashioned, but I kind of liked it when the teams involved in a tense pennant race were more than three games above .500. It's entirely possible that the Cubs and Brewers could go down to the final day before the NL Central is decided, with both teams sporting a losing record. Wouldn't t...
Tomlinson Rushes Not Exactly Like Nike Zoom Commercial
All possessors of the first pick in their fantasy football leagues would like to have a word with LDT at the moment, as the reigning NFL MVP (though Pacman Jones is the raining NFL MVP) has 12 yards on 11 carries in the first half against the Bears....
Sunday Game Update Bukkake
Apparently the Patriots are good (but we still hate them). Randy Moss hauls in nine for 183 yards and all the white Patriots fans can glory because Wes Welker got in the endzone as well. Did Belichick shake Mangini's hand? Do I care? Well, actually — no, I mean, no....
NL Central, What Would We Do Without You, You Crazy Nut?
You mocked the National League's Central Division. Called it the race nobody wanted. But now it's September, and it's the most compelling race in baseball, with three teams within a game of each other atop the standings. You've got Carlos Zambrano pouting into his sippy cup. Rick Ankiel not caring ...
Hugh Johnson's Hangover
Yep, college football is back for real. There was a an exciting, competitive, and meaningful game last night and some forward thinker actually televised it! Cal finished off their two year home-and-home against Tennessee in style with a 45-31 victory. The game offered up a showcase for those who lov...