um Page 204 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
![Trump Administration Has Attacked Syria [Updated]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/mssh5xmxcjxdaftwzitc.jpg)
Trump Administration Has Attacked Syria [Updated]
The United States has launched missiles at an air base in Syria, according to several reports....

Reports: Trump Administration About To Bomb Syria<em></em>
According to NBC’s Richard Engel, “senior US military officials” are weighing the possibility of air strikes against the Syrian regime, and it’s possible they could come “within the next couple hours.”...

Tim Tebow Kills Baseball In First At-Bat; Ball Passes Over Outfielders' Heads For Home Run<em></em><em></em>
Tim Tebow, author and former college football quarterback, kicked off his time with the class-A Columbia Fireflies this evening with a bang. The motivational speaker stepped up to the plate against the Augusta Greenjackets and socked a dinger in his very first at-bat....

Joe Louis Arena Was Crude And Perfect
Whenever I feel exhausted or beat down, I hop on Youtube and watch Darren McCarty drop a natural hat trick on Patrick Roy....

St. Louis Citizens Reject Paying For An MLS Stadium
St. Louis is one of 12 cities vying a spot in the next round of MLS expansion, which will see four new teams join the league over the next few years. Sacramento is virtually assured a spot, despite some wild ownership shenanigans, which means that the other cities up for a spot face stiffer competit...

Dumb Shining Moment: Your 2017 NCAA Tournament Lowlight Reel
This year’s edition of Dumb Shining Moment features everybody’s favorite athletes; the men we paid money (to CBS sponsors) to see; the men who really ought to go pro in something other than sports....

Mark Trumbo Does His Thing, Crushes Extra-Inning Walk-Off Homer
The home run factory that is the Baltimore Orioles picked up right where it left off last season in its Opening Day game against the Toronto Blue Jays—the team that beat them in the AL Wild Card game last year. Tied 2-2 in the bottom of the 11th inning with two outs and two strikes, the Orioles’ Mar...

Madison Bumgarner Does It All Because He Can
The San Francisco Giants lost their season opener to the Arizona Diamondbacks after going through a humiliating and on-brand bullpen collapse in the ninth inning. Whatever. Nobody cares how the game ended, because Madison Bumgarner was on the field....

Madison Bumgarner Hasn't Changed At All, Hits Dinger (UPDATE: Another Dinger!)
In the first four innings today, Madison Bumgarner was perfect—12 batters up, 12 batters down, five strikeouts. In the fifth inning today, he was perfect in a different sense—smashing a dinger....

A Few Points About The Quality Of Peggy Noonan's Political Analysis
Why does Peggy Noonan goad me so? Her softness of tone; her airy sound of literary facility, at least to the ears of those who generally read only policy papers; her friendship with Cesar, at the deli counter. In her own way, she is the right wing version of Thomas Friedman: dangerous because people...

The Most Powerful Man In Chess Is Maybe A Lunatic
The sports world is replete with notably wacky commissioners and leaders, and for all the wild shit that the Sepp Blatters and Oleg Tinkovs of the world get up to, the World Chess Federation’s president probably has them all beat. Kirsan Ilyumzhinov has been the top dog at FIDE since 1995, and for m...

"Megatron's Butthole" Is Stopped Up
The Atlanta Falcons will ostensibly begin play this fall in their new stadium (with its eight-petal retractable roof, which Drew referred to as “Megatron’s Butthole” and now I cannot think of it any other way). Except: the stadium was supposed to be open by now. But it wasn’t ready, so they pushed i...

Oakland Taxpayers Will Still Be On The Hook For $163 Million After The Raiders And Warriors Leave<em></em><em></em><em></em>
When the city of Oakland brought the Raiders back from Los Angeles in 1995, then-mayor Elihu Harris enticed Al Davis with $200 million in improvements to the Oakland Coliseum. The city paid for the construction with taxpayer-backed bonds, and their initial plan was to pay off the bond by selling per...

Vital Cultural Activity Of Our Era Is Not Music But Rather Something I Still Participate In, Says Old Guy
“Food is the new music” is a good phrase to memorize for when you get too old to really go to a lot of concerts any more, because that shit happens very late at night....

Dear President Trump: Throwing Out The First Pitch At The Nats Game Will Heal This Nation
Dear Mr. President, ...

Wait, Let's Clown These Scrub-Ass Doofuses Some More
Seventeen days. That’s how much stamina flinty-eyed deal master Donald Trump, sober policy knower Paul Ryan, and all the Republican Party had for a health care overhaul they’d been promising for seven years, before the work of negotiating amongst themselves overwhelmed them and they retired to their...

You Love Trucks. Do You Love People?
Donald Trump loves trucks, I guess. Also, the trucking industry is poised to be decimated by technological change. Here we have an opportunity. ...

Columbus, Ohio Viewers Miss Entire Kentucky-UNC Finish Due To Tornado Warning
Columbus, Ohio CBS station WBNS went black for six minutes as its weather staff delivered ominous news of a tornado warning in Franklin and Madison counties. Those six minutes just happened to encompass the entirety of Malik Monk’s three to tie it up, and Luke Maye’s eventual winner for UNC (as well...
![Basketball Fans Treated To Ads Congratulating Republicans For Repealing Obamacare [UPDATES]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Basketball Fans Treated To Ads Congratulating Republicans For Repealing Obamacare [UPDATES]
Basketball fans tonight in several Republican-adjacent TV markets are enjoying a series of ads, prematurely bought by the American Action Network PAC, inviting viewers to call their representatives to thank them for repealing Obamacare today—something that did not happen. ...

Taking "Lack Of Context" To Terrifying New Extremes
“Context.” What does it mean? Do we really need it? Is it possible to write an entire, outraged newspaper column without any context at all?...