um Page 205 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Pat Kelsey Ditches UMass Job Half An Hour Before Introductory Press Conference
Winthrop coach Pat Kelsey led his team to a Big South championship and an NCAA tournament appearance this season, and even though they lost in the first round, it was a successful campaign for the Eagles. As the college basketball coaching rodeo whirls to life and bushels of schools look for new fac...
The President's In A Big-Boy Truck Beep Beep
Today started with our pee baby president’s latest piss tantrum in the pages of Time magazine. It ends with him climbing around in a big rig, no doubt a reward for acting like a big boy and keeping his diapy dry....
Our Petulant Piss Boy President Must Be Treated Like A Baby
All journalists know that if you’re interviewing a childish little sensitive pisshead baby, you must do so very carefully, to avoid making him run out of the room crying. One of these little pisshead babies is now our president....
Team USA Wants To Inspire Baseball Kids To Be Boring Fun-Haters
Ahead of Team USA’s World Baseball Classic final against Puerto Rico tonight, some American baseball men said some eye-rolling shit. Team USA’s second baseman Ian Kinsler told the New York Times he hoped the team could inspire the youth to Play The Right Way and grow up to be fun-hating baseball men...
Stop Letting Him Use You For Photo Ops
Big smile. One hand out front for a nice handshake with Mister Trump. His other hand is behind your back, stabbing you. Thanks for the photo, though. ...
U.S. President Brags That NFL Teams Are Supposedly Scared Of His Tweets
Last week, Bleacher Report’s Mike Freeman quoted an anonymous NFL GM who said “10 percent” of NFL teams were hesitant about signing free-agent QB Colin Kaepernick because of possible political repercussions. While Freeman wrote that some teams would avoid Kaepernick over “genuine hate,” others might...
The NCAA Tournament Teams That Can Actually Pull Off Some Upsets
This is the second of three posts that will preview the NCAA tournament. This one is for people who want to know which sleeper teams have the best shot at making some noise. ...
What Will Trumpcare Mean For My Disabled Brother?
My older brother Sean has cerebral palsy. He also listens to bebop and enjoys teaching our nephew Oliver about the virtues of counting from one to ten in the voice of The Count and was angered when the Bruins fired Claude Julien. He makes a pot of coffee each morning when he wakes up, reads his news...
The Insanity Of The Steve Bannon Origin Myth
Steve Bannon: millionaire banker, right-wing media executive, white nationalist, warmonger, Trump strategist. How did he become the man he is? The leading theory makes very little sense....
The "Blue State Secession" Thing Is Not Helping
Ever since the election of Donald Trump, we have been treated to periodic semi-serious think pieces by liberals saying that blue states should form their own country. Hey—shut the fuck up!!...
Muhammad Ali Jr. Reportedly Stopped At Airport One Day After Speaking With Congress About Immigration Policy
One day after speaking with members of Congress about his experience being detained at an airport last month, Muhammad Ali Jr. was briefly stopped from boarding his flight home....
Roy Williams: "Our President Tweets Out More Bullshit Than Anybody I’ve Ever Seen"<em></em>
UNC head coach Roy Williams has put together yet another daggum good squad this season, with the Tar Heels now sitting at 27-6 after Thursday’s 78-53 bludgeoning of Miami in the ACC quarterfinals. After the game, someone asked ol’ Roy what he thought about the tournament being played in Brooklyn—eve...
Trump's Budget: Less Housing, More Bombs
Budgets are where political and moral priorities get stated. How sick are our priorities today? ...
Markieff Morris Ejected After Kicking Mason Plumlee In The Dick And Balls
Folks, we got some twin-on-twin on violence against one of the twin’s twins. Markieff Morris got stonewalled by Mason Plumlee late in the fourth quarter and his leg popped up in what Draymond Green would call a “natural foot motion,” catching Plumlee right in the dick and balls. The look of anguish ...
Oh, Will You Shut Up About Defense Already?
So, we’ve been bickering about the NBA’s MVP award the past couple days; it’s March, the sports calendar is dead, people get bored, you start fighting over this sort of thing to pass the time. I blogged about it yesterday; Tom Scocca blogged about it today. Both times, the crux of the argument has b...
Piss Off, Tim Tebow
Tim Tebow isn’t a major-league ballplayer, and he isn’t a pro ballplayer in any but the barest, most literal sense. Certainly, if he weren’t famous for playing football and for not having been aborted, no one anywhere would pay him money to play baseball. Look at this shit!...
Are You Sure Russell Westbrook Should Be MVP? Consider These Stats
An NBA season is not a triple-double-getting contest. Yesterday, Albert Burneko argued that the discussion about who deserves the NBA Most Valuable Player award has lately gone off track—that Russell Westbrook, averaging a triple-double for the Oklahoma City Thunder, has been so thoroughly and overw...
Angry Man Cuts President Trump's Balls Off<em></em>
President Trump was getting hard to manage so his handlers went and lopped off his testicles....
You Wanted Just A Little Bit Of Xenophobia, But Got Too Much
Every birthday I get an overseas call from my grandma, always early in the morning due to time zones. This was the first year that call was tinged with concern that I would be attacked by a fellow citizen. She lived in America for decades, but suddenly, in 2017, she’s concerned about her grandson’s...