um Page 341 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Alex Ovechkin Accused Of Spitting In Opponent's Face
A little run-in between Ovechkin and Blue Jackets winger/agitator Derek Dorsett on Saturday went mostly unnoticed: Dorsett ran Ovechkin, Ovechkin got in his face, the two received matching minors, then everybody went home to celebrate New Year's Eve. But now Dorsett is accusing Ovechkin of spittin...
The University Of Houston Rolls Out A Shocker Of A Billboard
"For some, this hand gesture means something else. On the bright side, a lot of potential students just think they learned something about the open-mindedness of UH girls." [Austinist] (H/T Eric)...
Some Cross-Dressing Banjo Players Got Into A Brawl In Philadelphia On Sunday
On New Year's Day in Philly, we have something called the Mummer's Parade. Stripped down to its basics, it's an event in which men dress in feathers, a wide array of costumes or as women and prance down Broad Street. Some people think it's a grand time. They're entitled to that opinion, I guess....
If The Canadiens' Interim Head Coach Doesn't Learn French, He'll Probably Be Fired
Montreal Canadiens' interim head coach Randy Cunneyworth doesn't speak any French. This is apparently such a problem among fans that the team's GM had to address the issue with the sort of groveling, mealy-mouthed statement you give when your coach blows a .48 on his Breathalyzer....
Kris Humphries: Douchebag Homophobe
Kris Humphries is out indefinitely with a shoulder injury while the Nets continue to slide, losing their fifth straight last night to the Pacers....
This Time, It's The Rim That Rejected Kris Humphries
How unpopular is Kris Humphries? His wife is ripping him on Twitter, random people hate him, and New Yorkers are booing him....
Prince Fielder And Tim Lincecum Want Long-Term Deals, Andrew Bailey Is Thinking Music, And More From Around The Hot Stove
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!...
100 Percent Of The NBA's Asian-American Population Now Plays For The Knicks
The Knicks added Jeremy Lin to the roster last night in an effort to fix the fact that they have zero depth in the backcourt. He's the league's lone Asian-American player, and he's also the only Harvard grad in the pros. Get this kid a billboard....
Yorvit Torrealba Receives 66-Game Suspension For Slugging A Venezuelan League Umpire
The Rangers catcher's physically expressed frustration at a prior strike call earned him 66 games in Venezuelan winter ball, which is the rest of this season and all of next. We wonder how broken up he is about it, considering his son was kidnapped in his home country a few years back, and the wor...
Yorvit Torrealba Spread The Holiday Spirit By Slugging A Venezuelan League Umpire
Rangers catcher Yorvit Torrealba is spending the offseason playing for his hometown Leones del Caracas of the Venezuelan League, and after missing badly for strike three took his frustrations out on the umpire in an ugly way. It was, if my Spanish is correct, one of two attacks on the home plate u...
Kobe Is (Allegedly) A Better Womanizer Than He Is A Basketball Player: A Statistical Analysis
The National Enquirer dropped one of its perhaps-truth bombs this week on Kobe Bryant's marriage (here's a summary, since the Enquirer wants you to splurge in the supermarket and didn't put its story online): The tab reports that Bryant had affairs with 105 women during the 10 years he was married t...
It's Going To Be A Long, Miserable Year For Kris Humphries
Kris Humphries's summer sideshow was entertaining but seemed ultimately irrelevant: his dalliances with Kim Kardashian and with reality TV were in the universe of entertainment and celebrity, not our sports universe. We'd get our jokes, E! gets their ratings, Humphries and the Kardashians make a q...
Chad McGhee Has Risen Up Against President Obama And Government Itself
Now that the Knox City Greyhounds season is over, Chad McGhee has turned his attention to matters besides Texas high school six-man football. Here, he takes both a moral and political stand against the POTUS and affiliated pagans who have declared war on the Lord. In these War on Christmas times, ...
If You're Ready, We Now Have A Photo Of That Pooped-In Hockey Glove
To be clear, what you are looking at is not Dave Bermingham's glove right after fellow adult league hockey player Zung Nguyen defecated in it following a fight. What you are looking at is Dave Bermingham's glove a week later, still pregnant with feces....
Aw Jeez, The Lights Are Out At Candlestick Again, A Fan Is On The Field, And Big Ben Is Providing Commentary
The lights went back out in Candlestick with 12:13 left in the first half, leading a fan to conclude the time was ripe to run onto the field. Ben Roethlisberger, meanwhile, lamented James Harrison's suspension—while Harrison himself took credit for the outage....
When The Lights Go Down In The City
The start of Monday Night Football is currently delayed due to this transformer explosion that blacked out Candlestick Park and presumably led to several copped feels. [ESPN]...
Breaking Down The Football In <i>The Dark Knight Rises</i>
It's nerd Christmas, as the trailer for The Dark Knight Rises was released today to the orgiastic squeals of the internet. There's plenty to take in: Bane's unintelligible speech, Anne Hathaway's vie to become the first woman since Michelle Pfeiffer to actually add something to a superhero movie—b...
Ron Rivera Says The Panthers' Trick Play Yesterday Was Inspired By The Movie <i>Little Giants</i>
Carolina head coach Ron Rivera told reporters this afternoon that the Panthers' trick play against Houston yesterday was inspired by "The Annexation of Puerto Rico," the Fumblerooski play used at the end of the 1994 classic film Little Giants. Here's the play in question, which in the movie is cal...
Elvis Dumervil Made Tom Brady Fear For His Life
Sure, the Patriots throttled the Broncos 41-23. But New England's victory didn't come at the expense of a little of Tom Brady's machismo, as the horrified look in his eyes upon this sack by Elvis Dumervil was more apropos for someone who wears Uggs. Which, I guess, means it's apropos—period. ...
Pre-Kardashian Kris Humphries Went On A Date With One Of Jon Huntsman's Daughters
Things are looking up for Kris Humphries, the NBA free agent who spent 72 days married to Kim Kardashian. Last we checked in with him, he had to deal with a "KRIS IS GAY!" tabloid cover, and he had survived what was—unofficially—the worst year ever....