um Page 341 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Care To Guess Who "The Super Hot, Super Gay, Super Conservative Christian NFL Player In Need Of A Beard" Is?
This exchange between someone in Massachusetts and someone in Illinois was brought to you by "Texts From Last Night." To each their own. (H/T several tipsters)...
Here's A Video About Hunting Mork Encino With A Pellet Pistol
Spoiler Alert: Mork "Hunting Bait" Encino survives this segment about his whole "you can hunt me for $10K (or $12K if you want me naked)" schtick. How can I be sure? Because he sent a private Twitter message this week about his talks to appear on the George Lopez Tonight show in the days before th...
At Last, Video Evidence That Mike Laga Really Did Hit A Foul Ball Out Of The Old Busch Stadium
This is great. On Sept. 15, 1986, Mike Laga, one of those light-hitting Cardinals players whom St. Louis fans are always applauding for moving the runners over, supposedly knocked a foul ball clear out of the old Busch Stadium. Because we have all lost our capacity for wonder, this feat has lately ...
Greg Jennings Puts The Fam On His Back
We all remember this, right? One Madden player's profane, exultant play-by-play of virtual Greg Jennings' gamebreaking score. Real Greg Jennings gets in on the fun with a family-friendly reenactment, with narration by Larry Fitzgerald....
Bryan Stow's Family: He's Showing The "Most Response" He's Shown Since The Attack
On the day that the two men charged with savagely attacking Bryan Stow outside Dodger Stadium in April pleaded not guilty — and officials announced the woman who drove them away from the scene won't be charged — Stow's family posted an uplifting update on their website. Here's part of it:...
Dana Holgorsen Is Now Spamming The WVU Student Body To Find A QB
Geno Smith is more than capable of running the Mountaineer offense, but he's injury-prone and the only alternative is a true freshman. With other QB recruits leaving the program or switching to other positions, West Virginia's depth at quarterback is becoming an urgent matter. Coach Holgorsen does n...
More Foul Ball Benevolence In The NL West
This is in the same vein as the Diamondbacks kid warming all our hearts, but with a twist. On first glance, the boy in the Giants jersey catches a foul ball in the glove, then hands it over to the guy in front of him. But apparently the fellow in red had caught a ball earlier in the game and given...
Get To Know A Comic You Probably Don't Know: Kumail Nanjiani
I moved to America from Pakistan at 18 to attend Grinnell College in Iowa. Came out of Chicago with a bunch of other talented comedians—Hannibal Buress, Jared Logan, and Brooke Van Poppelen. My jokes are usually observational: a lot of them have to do with pop culture, and they always end with a q...
And You Thought Boosters Would Let Butch Davis Go Without A Lawsuit
Clearly we underestimated the value of two straight Meineke Car Care Bowls. But Butch Davis is something of a hero in Chapel Hill, where he took the Tar Heels from mediocrity to ACC Success, which we remind you is not the same as actual success....
This Lady Left Two Used Tampons Under Her Seat At Wrigley Field
Perhaps one is free to leave trash under one's seat at movie theaters or stadiums: popcorn, Pepsi, (Neifi) Perez memorabilia—but we ought to draw the line well short of endometrial cells....
Stay The Hell Away From Rehabbing Stephen Strasburg, You Mongrels, Minor League Team Tells Press
You may think it's Strasmas in August for the scribes of Hagerstown, Maryland, but you'd be wrong. Dead wrong....
Ichiro's Doppelganger Tried To Sabotage The Mariners Last Night
Have we not yet learned our lesson, America? Is Bartman's ultimate cautionary tale still not enough? Let the players make their plays. Even if you happen to look eerily similar to one of them....
You Made Stubby Clapp Angry
There are very few memorable players with just 25 career major league at-bats. And yet, we vividly remember Stubby Clapp from his brief 2001 stint with the Cardinals. What could it have been?...
This Is Why You Should Bring A Glove If You're Gonna Sit Near The Right-Field Foul Pole At Yankee Stadium
It is, like, the least surprising thing in the world that this Yankee fan, who got hit in the face with a foul ball, is holding a BlackBerry. His collar is popped under his Yankees t-shirt. Ugh....
Where NFL Rumors Are Born, Pat Devlin Is In The Details
We got an email last night from "prism" with the subject line: How Sports Media Blows, and it was a series of links in chronological order....
Nixon's Nightmare Was Brought To Life At The White House Today
The world champion San Francisco Giants, accompanied by Willie Mays, visited the White House today, in all their scraggly, bearded glory. President Obama made jokes about Brian Wilson's beard ("I do fear it"), his attire ("Now underneath Brian's beard, and the spandex tuxedo, and the sea captain cos...
Stephen A. Smith, The Comeback Kid?
Amateur LeRoy Neiman impersonator Bob Raissman poses a disarming theory in his New York Daily News column today: Stephen A. Smith might actually be doing a good job on an ESPN outlet....
Everybody Feared The Worst When Old Man Brent Musburger Went Rogue In Vegas For A Spell
Your morning roundup for July 23, the day after we learned that high-school tennis coaches really might want to stay away from strip-club ownership....
Kim Kardashian Files $20M Lawsuit Over Ad Featuring Ex-Boyfriend Reggie Bush's Kardashian-Lookalike Current Girlfriend
Yesterday, a woman who built a "reality star" career from a sex tape that turned her ass into a household name filed suit against a clothing store for featuring a woman who built an "Old Navy commercial star" career from looking like the woman with the sex-tape ass. Fun fact: reality star is New O...
Report: Bryan Stow Beating Suspect Exonerated, Two New Suspects Arrested
Per the Los Angeles Times, "Los Angeles police have arrested two men on suspicion of beating baseball fan Bryan Stow at Dodger Stadium and have concluded the suspect they took into custody in May was not responsible, a law enforcement source familiar with the investigation told The Times on Thursda...