united Page 149 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Old Man Wayne Rooney Produced One Of The Best MLS Highlights You'll Ever See
D.C. United sent their keeper up for a corner kick with a minute left in stoppage time of a tied game. It backfired, spectacularly. Then it didn’t, spectacularly, and it was all thanks to good ol’ Wayne Rooney. ...

Paul Pogba's Weirdo Penalty Is The First Premier League Goal Of The Season
At the start of a game that probably shouldn’t be played right now (I mean really, the World Cup ended less than a month ago for chrissakes, don’t these guys deserve some rest?), a player that probably shouldn’t be playing (Paul Pogba had a big role in that World Cup right up till the end, you might...

The Best Comedy Bits Going Are Leeds Manager Marcelo Bielsa's Interviews
If you’ve found yourself confused about why those familiar with Argentine mad genius manager Marcelo Bielsa were giddy with excitement when he got the Leeds United job earlier this summer, just watch the bizarre, hilarious, Google Translate-in-the-flesh pre- and post-match interviews he gave to Sky ...

Reporter Hit By Falling Railing On Opening Day At D.C.'s New MLS Stadium
D.C. United celebrated the opening of their new stadium last Saturday. Fans were treated to 32 minutes of Wayne Rooney, protests from disgruntled supporter groups, and a series of railings breaking and falling all over the place. D.C. United communications VP and sideline reporter Lindsay Simpson wa...

The Fight For Peace Has Never Been Easy
This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here....

Minnesota United's Collin Martin Comes Out As Gay
Minnesota United midfielder Collin Martin became the only active openly gay man in American sports on Friday, coming out publicly with a message on Twitter and a very cool photo ahead of his team’s Pride Night game....

Kangaroo On The Field Is Great At Running, Atrocious At Kicking The Ball
This here kangaroo showed up to an Australian women’s Premier League match over the weekend and put together an impressive minute or so of tape. Our pal apparently wandered around the field for about 20 minutes, dozed off, hopped a few fences, and flashed some impressive top-level speed. However, hi...

Old Man Wayne Rooney Looks To Be Headed To D.C. United
A year after Wayne Rooney left Manchester United to return to his boyhood club, Everton, the former England great is reportedly on the cusp on joining D.C. United in MLS. United will reportedly pay a £12 million transfer fee for Rooney....

Alex Ferguson Undergoes Emergency Brain Surgery Following Hemorrhage
Alex Ferguson, the legendary former manager of Manchester United, underwent emergency brain surgery Saturday following a brain hemorrhage, according to an update from the team:...

Manchester City's Title Run Ends With A Wet Fart
As the determiner of an ultimate champion, the soccer system is great. The table never lies and every match matters and you always know that, come the end of the long, grueling season, the team that stacked up the most points will hoist the trophy above their heads in front of their adoring fans wit...

Man City Win Premier League After West Brom Beat Man United
Manchester United came back from two goals down last weekend to prevent Man City from winning the Premier League. It was a memorable 3-2 win in the Manchester derby; it wouldn’t stop City from winning the league, but it was at least a nice moment....

Manchester City Hit A Few Bumps On The Road To Immortality
By any conceivable criteria, this year’s Manchester City bunch should go down as one of the greatest Premier League teams of all time. In the face of the deepest, richest, savviest array of clubs from top to bottom in league history, as one member of a staggeringly competitive cadre of six superteam...
![Soccer Fans Are Back To Hurling Yellow, Banana-Shaped Objects At Black Players [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Soccer Fans Are Back To Hurling Yellow, Banana-Shaped Objects At Black Players [UPDATE]
A fan in Manchester threw a yellow, banana-shaped object onto the pitch early in today’s City-United derby either at Man City’s Raheem Sterling or United’s Ashley Young, both of whom are black....

U.S.A. Beats Canada In Overtime To Complete Sled Hockey Gold Medal Three-Peat
Declan Farmer’s goal with 38 seconds left in regulation forced overtime and his goal three minutes into sudden death delivered the United States its third Paralympic Games sled hockey gold medal in a row, downing Canada in Pyeongchang 2-1....

World Rejoices As Shitty Manchester United Team Knocked Out Of Champions League
Yesterday’s Manchester United-Sevilla Champions League match was the best game of the knockout rounds thus far. Not because these are two particularly great teams competing—they both are pretty bad—nor because they played especially well—the game was largely awful. No, this match was great for prett...

Bucs And Manchester United Owner Ed Glazer Will Host A Big Trump Reelection Fundraiser
Ed Glazer, whose family owns the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Manchester United, will host an exclusive fundraiser for Donald Trump tonight at his house in Beverly Hills. The President’s schedule and plans in Southern California are shrouded in secrecy, but he’ll spend the evening at Glazer’s $22.7 mill...

Sky Sports Suspends Jamie Carragher After He Spits At Heckler And His Daughter
Jamie Carragher, the former Liverpool legend who is now a popular TV commentator, has been suspended by Sky Sports for this video of him spitting in the direction of a 14-year-old girl whose father had been heckling Carragher while the two men were driving....

Peterborough United Desperately Sweeps To End Snow Delay
Snow days were great, and if you have the opportunity to get one as an adult, you should absolutely take it. But props to third-tier English soccer team Peterborough United for powering through and doing the absolute most they could do to avoid going home early on account of the late-February flurri...

United States Wins First-Ever Curling Gold On John Shuster's Fiver
A brilliant eighth-end hammer delivery by U.S.A. skip John Shuster turned a 5-5 nailbiter into a 10-5 lead that the Americans held onto through the final two ends en route to beating Sweden 10-7 and claiming their first-ever gold medal in curling, and only the second medal ever for the U.S. in the s...

The Ending Of USA-Canada, As Called By Descriptive Audio
We like bringing you rarely-heard calls of major sports moments, so here’s one for you: the final shots of tonight’s 3-2 shootout win that brought women’s hockey gold back to the United States after 20 years, as called by Tony Ambrogio on the descriptive audio channel for the sight-impaired. Enjoy!...