united Page 164 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Alan Pardew Headbutts Opposing Player; Commentators Go Nuts
Newcastle United manager was sent off during the magpies match against Hull City for a head butt against City's David Meyler. As you can see, the Sky Sports guys lost their shit. And here's why: ...
Sad Manchester United Lose Following Wonder Goal From Joel Campbell
Manchester United traveled to Greece to play Olympiakos FC in the Champions League, and they caught an ass-whooping. Olympiakos opened scoring in the 38th minute, when an Alejandro Dominguez shot from the top of the box was deflected before tragically trickling past United keeper David de Gea into t...
T.J. Oshie Beats Russia In 4-3 Shootout
T.J. Oshie's four shootout goals proved the difference as the United States beat Russia 3-2 (4-3). It took eight rounds of penalty shots before the right combination of Jonathan Quick save and Oshie goal could be properly paired up....
Added Time Bites Manchester United In The Ass As Fulham Draws
Though the basement-dwelling Fulham took a 1-0 lead 19 minutes into the match, Manchester United's two quick goals by Robin Van Persie and Michael Carrick near the end of the second half seemingly corrected everything. But in extra time, Fulham wrecked their stability....
Juan Mata Is Signed. What Will Manchester United Do With Him?
We knew something had to give at Manchester United, what with the team's huge mounds of money begging to fill the huge holes in the squad, but it's still a bit of a surprise that the deal in hand is for Chelsea's Juan Mata, bought for a reported £37M. A bona fide world-class number 10 is a nice addi...
Sad Manchester United Allow Elderly Samuel Eto'o To Score Hat Trick
No one would have imagined this before the season started: Chelsea demolishes Manchester United 3-1, and the only remotely surprising thing is that Samuel Eto'o—a thousand years old, a chronic misfirer—was the man who knocked in the goals. And yet that's how it is....
What's Wrong With Manchester United, And How To Fix It
Yesterday, defending Premier League champions Manchester United faced the league's last place team, Sunderland, in the first leg of the League Cup semifinal. After losing the first two matches of 2014 (at home to Tottenham and to Swansea), United were fighting to not lose three straight for the firs...
Two Japanese Soccer Stars Play Team Of 55 Kids On Game Show
What do you get when you mix Shinji Kagawa and Hiroshi Kiyotake, 33 Japanese kids, and a soccer pitch? Well, a pretty easily scored goal. But what about when you up the number to 55? Pure chaos....
Another Biblical Hailstorm Suspends Soccer Game
Two hailstorms in just over a week suspending play? Quick, someone check the math on those Mayan Doomsday calendars; maybe they were just a year off!...
Premier League Team Tries Charging Press For Interviews
Newcastle United are coming off a huge win at Manchester United, but they're making news for the wrong reasons: Multiple outlets report that NUFC have approached local and national newspapers, offering them access to players between matches only if they're willing to pay for it....
The Best Squirrel-Related Headline Of The Week
The best in at least a week, maybe more. It's just tremendous: "Scunthorpe fans asked not to dress as squirrels for Alan Knill return."...
This Is The Carnage Of A 26-0 Prep Hockey Game
Notre Dame Academy (Wis.) played Manitowoc (Wis.) in hockey Monday. It was not even close....
Soccer Team Issues Wonderfully Bitchy Statement Over Pee Allegations
Boreham Wood, in the sixth tier of English soccer, lost an FA Cup heartbreaker on Tuesday night at Carlisle United. Afterward, media accounts and photos showed the visitors' locker room to be a mess, including a tea kettle in a urinal, a broken door, and what was reportedly a puddle of urine on the ...
Eddie Gaven, The Oddest Goalkeeper In MLS History, Retires
Eddie Gaven retired today, and the math doesn't seem right. He's only 27 years old, but already an 11-year veteran of MLS. That's what happens when you get drafted at age 16, as Gaven was by the MetroStars in 2003. The wunderkind never quite lived up to the hype, but he proved to be a versatile, wor...
"God Bless America" Singer Not Actually A Retired USMC Sergeant
When Dan Clark finished his performance of "God Bless America" after the top of the seventh inning last night at Fenway, the Internet exploded in praise of a man we were told was a retired United States Marine Corps Sergeant. We were told wrong, a source at the United State Marine Corps acknowledge...
Facebook Map: The Manchester United States Of America
Champions League action resumes today, but who is America rooting for? The map above, using data provided by Facebook, shows which of the qualifying teams have the most "likes," by state. While Americans like to make fun of all the people overseas who randomly wear Yankees caps, it's a clean sweep i...
Manu Ginobili's Contract Got Lost In A Bird Attack
The New York Times has a story about the San Antonio Spurs' legacy of fostering foreign talent, and it contains a wonderful anecdote about an offseason mishap in Argentina involving Manu Ginobili's contract, a frightened intern, and an angry bird....