up Page 378 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Don't Forget That Rams Owner Stan Kroenke Is A Shitbird With Bad Hair
For what feels like the 74th straight season but is actually the third, the Patriots are in the Super Bowl. Everyone hates them, for a suite of reasons both worthwhile and petty. While I still would like the Rams to win out of spite, in the abstract, a Super Bowl championship for owner Stan Kroenke ...
There's Nothing To Say About This Super Bowl
The week leading up to the Super Bowl is always bad for one reason or another. Sometimes it’s because one particular storyline gets beaten into the ground by every media outlet; other times it’s because a particularly loathsome team or player or coach gets hyped so thoroughly that the mere mention o...
Humorless Pittsburgh News Station Fires Employee For Graphic Calling Tom Brady A "Known Cheater"
A Pittsburgh TV station has fired an employee who used a chyron calling Tom Brady a “known cheater” into a broadcast on Monday, SI.com reported. ...
NBA Fines Anthony Davis For Self-Tampering In Public, Alarming Onlookers<em></em>
ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski reported Monday that the NBA was investigating Pelicans center Anthony Davis for self-tampering in front of God and everyone. Davis expressing (through his agent) the desire to be traded, on and all over the record, scandalized the Pelicans to the point that the team put ou...
Today Was Somehow The Stupidest Day Yet In The Bryce Harper Sweepstakes
Today felt like it could have finally been the day we got some movement in the frigid pursuit of the two top free agents in baseball, but it was not meant to be. Despite what felt like all of Philly Twitter trying to will it into existence, Bryce Harper did not sign with the Phillies on Tuesday. Why...
Qatar Beat The Hell Out Of UAE And Then Got A Bunch Of Shoes Thrown At Them
The UAE had big hopes this winter. The tiny Middle Eastern nation is hosting this month’s Asian Cup, and national team appeared to be on the brink of something special when they qualified for the semifinals against their hated rivals, Qatar. Then Qatar beat the shit out of them so badly today that t...
Hate The Patriots For The Right Reason
The idea as pitched was to do one more takeout of the essential evil that is the New England Patriots collective—because, yeah, that’s never been done before. Up until now, it’s been one hagiography after another, because the Patriots have been so damned cuddly and cheek-pinchable. The helmet logo i...
I Went Backstage At The Puppy Bowl And Tried To Interview A Bunch Of Puppies
The Puppy Bowl began as Super Bowl counterprogramming. Everyone’s watching football, so why not just throw a bunch of puppies on the screen and call it a day? Somehow, that worked not just as filler but as actual programming. The Puppy Bowl airs Sunday for the 15th straight year....
Lonzo Ball Would Prefer To Be Traded Where He Can Start Right Away, Just As I Would Prefer To Stalk My Enemies From Atop A Mighty Tyrannosaur
The Lakers are expected to offer some combination of young foundational players to the Pelicans in exchange for Anthony Davis, who requested a trade from New Orleans over the weekend. The most prominent of those young players is one Lonzo Ball, who by this time last year was viewed as the crown jew...
Oh Look, An Owner Of An MLB Team Has Brought Up Another Excuse To Not Pay Bryce Harper Or Manny Machado Their Worth
Astros owner Jim Crane was the latest team owner to give his opinion on why stars like Bryce Harper and Manny Machado aren’t receiving the blockbuster contracts many expected them to sign this offseason. At a team event on Friday, Crane, whose net worth is an estimated $2.5 billion, told reporters t...
A Bunch Of People Close To The Saints Desperately Want Roger Goodell To Step In And Screw This Up
Late Thursday afternoon, Benjamin Watson put out an all-too-serious complaint about the blown pass interference/unnecessary roughness call the Saints didn’t get in the NFC Championship matchup against the Rams. In a screenshot posted on Twitter, Watson called on commissioner Roger Goodell to step i...
Deadspin Up All Night: A River That Rolls
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Some Peon Tries To Hurt Neymar, Gets Humiliated By Neymar
About an hour into Paris Saint-Germain’s Coupe de France match against Strasbourg yesterday, Neymar was clowning on his inferiors with his imperial dribbling skills, as is his wont. Strasbourg midfielder Moataz Zemzemi must’ve taken Neymar’s casual demonstration of superiority personally, because he...
A.J. Styles's Weird Right-Wing Web TV Appearance Went About As Well As Could Be Expected
On Monday, the self-described “conservative comedian” Steven Crowder tweeted out the guest list for his online talk show, Louder With Crowder, which streams on the Glenn Beck-owned BlazeTV. There is no reason any person should care about this beyond the fact that, among those guests, was the WWE sta...
Deadspin Up All Night: Let Me Look At You
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It's Me, I'm The One Person Who Still Doesn't Believe In The Patriots
The New England Patriots, the second playoff seed of their conference, are preparing for Sunday’s AFC title game against the Kansas City Chiefs by pushing the idea that no one believes in them, a team that’s been to eight straight AFC title games. You might be asking, Who are they actually calling o...
Would You Let Alex Ovechkin Bite You?
A new start-up called Ambrosia, profiled today in Business Insider, is offering olds the opportunity to fill their veins with young people’s blood, which provides vague and questionable benefits for the vampiric elderly. At current prices, one liter of youthful blood will run you $8,000, while two l...
So, What's Really Happening Between Colin Kaepernick And Travis Scott?
During the Chargers-Patriots ass-beating on Sunday, the NFL officially announced what had been rumored for months: the Super Bowl XLIII halftime show will feature Maroon 5 as headliners, with supporting slots from Travis Scott and, in what amounted to the only surprising bit of the announcement, Out...
Hot Fucking Stove Update: Melvin Is B.J. Again
The MLB hot stove has been ice cold this entire offseason, but today has brought the news we’ve all been waiting for. The news is this: he’s B.J. again....