up Page 379 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The MLS SuperDraft Is An Embarrassing Relic
The 2019 edition of the MLS SuperDraft took place on Friday (rounds one and two, in Chicago) and Monday (rounds three and four, on a conference call), and it was another illustration of why it is ridiculous that the league even has a draft at all....
FIFA Does One Good Thing, Continues To Do Hundreds Of Awful Things
FIFA would like you to know that it is not full of bad people. On Wednesday, the world soccer governing body put out a statement in support of Hakeem al-Araibi, an Australia-based soccer player who was detained in Thailand in November....
Philadelphia Eagles Twitter Account Run By Shameless Biter
One of the best subplots of the NFL season was the rise of Twitter user @CableThanos_, a Seahawks fan who earned himself some internet fame by producing charmingly deranged hype videos throughout Seattle’s run to the playoffs. Now, unfortunately, he has become the victim of shameless biting....
Spain Arrests 15 Connected To Armenian Tennis Match-Fixing Gang
Spanish police arrested 15 people, and said another 68 have been investigated, as part of probe into tennis match-fixing by an Armenian criminal gang. ...
VAR Shat All Over Yesterday's Tottenham-Chelsea League Cup Match
Tottenham beat Chelsea in the first leg of their League Cup semifinal tie yesterday by a score of 1-0 thanks to a video replay-awarded penalty decision that was so comprehensively terrible that it had both managers trashing VAR after the match....
Deadspin Up All Night: I've Been Waiting
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Our big boy made it home. ...
Hopefully We've Seen The Last Of Neymar's God-Awful Fake Dreadlocks
Elaborate hairstyles of both the well- and ill-advised variety have been a constant throughout Neymar’s career. And while we’ve enjoyed seeing his shift away from the perms he once constantly rocked in favor of more natural, kinky looks in recent years, we hope to God that yesterday’s debut of his a...
It's Fucking Coffee
We thought stories about mundane things “taking over” locker rooms couldn’t have survived beyond Bleacher Report’s breathless story about how NBA players were obsessed with drinking water, but a contender for worst entry into the genre has emerged, courtesy of food-related schlongformer extraordinai...
Deadspin Up All Night: Half And Half, Make Believe
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Have a tall drink of water....
Racist Politics Flack From Seattle: I'm Not Racist, I'm British
So, yesterday, hilariously inept* conservative politics flack and weird cable news creature Liz Mair did, and later deleted, a very bad tweet:...
Rick Pitino Settles For Coaching Gig In Greece, Just As I Have Settled For Life Without Power Over All Living Things
Just two months ago, Rick Pitino and I had big dreams. He was going to stride confidently back into the NBA, take control of a franchise desperately in need of his knack for player development, and begin the satisfying third act of his career. I, on the other hand, was going to ascend into the cosmo...
How On God's Green Earth Did This Ball Not Go In?
AZ Alkmaar plastered PEC Zwolle in the Dutch Cup today by a score of 5-0. However, due to some wicked backspin and an insanely precise smack off the crossbar and the possible imposition of dark magic, AZ forward Mats Seuntjins’s 15th-minute strike somehow was not one of those five goals:...
Serbian Soccer Fans Barrage Linesman With Snowballs, Force Stoppage Of Play
Supporters of Serbian SuperLiga club Partizan Belgrade decided to show their contempt for a sideline official on Saturday with an onslaught of snowballs the instant he made his way to an acceptable range. The referee put a temporary stop the match as the snowballs forced the linesman onto the field ...
Blues Add Puppy To Practice So Hopefully Players Will Stop Fighting
Just three days after Blues players brawled during practice, the hockey team’s official Twitter account sent out this video of a puppy on the ice, during practice doing hockey puppy things like playing with a puck, chasing a stick, and just being all-around magical....
Steph Curry Acknowledges Dark Side Of Moon Truthering, Says It Was A Joke
Okay, looks like this cycle has been compressed to just three days. On a Winging It podcast episode released Monday, Warriors star Steph Curry denied that man landed on the Moon. That night, right on cue, he went with the oh-so-cheeky “just asking questions” posturing:...
Dang, I Guess They Have "Oat Milk" Now?
All the time, people (editors, for example) are insisting that blogs have to have “a point” or must be “about something”; they are saying things like “Bert, what is this blog” and “I honestly forgot you worked here until just now and I think I preferred it that way.” That’s just how it is for all of...
Napoleon The Racing Corgi Crushes All Challengers, Is A Very Good Boy
Here is a true thing: Even the fastest corgi still looks like an absurd tubelike dog-snake hybrid. The Seattle Seahawks attempted to prove this with the 2018 Corgi Cup, which was held during halftime of Monday’s game. There were so many bread-shaped contenders that they had to hold two heats....
No Offense, But Adam Ottavino Would Make Babe Ruth Look Like A Sack Of Pig Assholes<em></em>
There might be a couple of outliers, but for the most part, current players in any major sport would easily defeat the sport’s early legends. It’s not their fault. The older dudes were the best of their era—and some of those eras still had the color line—but they would not be the best in a later era...
Steph Curry Pulls Up From 238,900 Miles, Denies Moon Landing
Over the weekend, the Chang’e-4 spacecraft took flight from Sichaun province in China. It is bound for the far side of the Moon. The craft is expected to touch down early next month, becoming the first ever to “soft-land” on the far side. Where does Steph Curry think the craft is headed?...
Atlanta United's MLS Cup Victory Ends Michael Parkhurst's Agonizing Championship Drought
The city of Atlanta has a championship for the first time since 1995 thanks to the efforts of second-year MLS franchise Atlanta United. In front of an MLS Cup-record crowd of 73,019, United defeated the Portland Timbers 2-0 to bring their immaculate sophomore season to a close. ...