up Page 707 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Put A Tent On That Circus: Your Sunday NFL Roundup
The theme of the day was Barnum and Bailey. Whether it was all the crazy circus catches, the Arizona Cardinals or the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Lots of clownin' all around. Let's check it out....

If You Dare Approach Frank Beamer On The Football Field, The Virginia State Police Will Disappear You
Your morning roundup for Oct. 9, the day we learned they won't keep you in the clink very long after threatening to cook your friend's mom. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Stories That Don't Suck: Hunter Thompson On Al Davis
Hunter S. Thompson's "Fear And Loathing At The Super Bowl" essay ran in the Feb. 15, 1973 edition of Rolling Stone magazine. In it, Thompson chronicles a pair of encounters with the general manager and "de facto owner" of the Raiders....

This Year, Ryan Howard's Season-Ending At-Bat Resulted In Physical Injury
Your morning roundup for Oct. 8, the day we learn that it's best just to plead guilty when caught handing out semen-tainted yogurt at the market. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

A Rugby World Cup Quarterfinals Preview For Americans Who Don't Know Shit About Rugby
Chris Benz and Dave Shireley will be filing dispatches from the Rugby World Cup in New Zealand, in the odd moments that they are sober. For a rugby glossary and position guide, click here....

"I Ain't No Damned Monkey On A String": The Sadness Of Sweetness After Super Bowl XX
Today the 1985 Chicago Bears were finally honored at the White House—25 years after their 46-10 romp over the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XX. (The original trip was canceled because of the Challenger explosion.) That Super Bowl was memorable for many reasons—the headbands of Jim McMahon, the ...

Cockblocked By David Duke!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Rescuing The Girl In The Star-Spangled Bikini From The Drunk Tank, And Other Rugby Stories
Chris Benz and Dave Shireley will be filing dispatches from the Rugby World Cup in New Zealand, in the odd moments that they are sober. For a rugby glossary and position guide, click here....

The Drunk Girl In The Star-Spangled Bikini Responds
A reply from "Kendra" to Dave Shireley's dispatch....

The Tigers Needed A Moment To Spray Champagne In Tom Verducci's Face Before Talking To Him
Your morning roundup for Oct. 7, the day we discovered the toilet bike. Video via Gunaxin. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Crazed Australian Rugby Fan Advocates For Pedophile Wallabies, Nazi Kiwis, And In-Game Snipers
On Sunday, Australia meets South Africa in the Rugby World Cup quarterfinals. The pundits are nattering aplenty. Perhaps the least conventional viewpoint is the one expressed above: that the Aussie team needs to "harden the fuck up" and get a "bit of mongrel back in the game" by adding snipers to ...

Terry Francona Gave A Boston TV Station An Interview, But His T-Shirt Probably Says More Than He Did
Your morning roundup for Oct. 6, the day we learned a ban on dwarf-tossing threatened our freedom. Photo via WBZ-TV; h/t to Morris. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

This Super Bowl Commercial Introduced The World To Steve Jobs's Apple Macintosh Computer
"The fact that the Los Angeles Raiders humiliated the Washington Redskins in a 38-to-9 victory is a mere afterthought. Super Bowl XVIII's lasting legacy has been a single advertisement sandwiched somewhere in the third quarter: Apple Computer's iconic "1984" commercial." [CNet]...

Dear Joe Posnanski: Baseball Is Not Like Life
In our weekly excerpt from Slate's Hang Up and Listen podcast, noted author and occasional NFL roundtabler Stefan Fatsis wants to quibble with those writers who took last week's two-hour-long orgasm that ended the baseball regular season, and turned it into some kind of metaphor for life. In particu...

How The Ireland Rugby Team Subverts Rugby
After the Irish rugby team beat Australia last week at the Rugby World Cup, members of the Irish diaspora in Australia and New Zealand went deeply into their cups and an inborn sentimentality for all things green and peaty. The rest of the world, meanwhile, sat around wondering how the Irish ever de...

25 Years And Four Presidents Later, The 1985 Bears Will Finally Visit The White House
The '85 Chicago Bears are one of the most iconic championship teams in NFL history. Payton. The Fridge. Ditka. McMahon. Buddy Ryan and his 46 defense. That rap song. A 15-1 record in a season that ended with playoff shutouts of the Giants and Rams followed by a 46-10 drubbing of the Patriots in Sup...

LeBron Is Apparently Spending The Lockout Teaching His High School How To Lose Football Games In The Fourth Quarter
Your morning roundup for Oct. 5, the day we were propositioned via breakfast burrito. Photo of LeBron in pads back at school courtesy Fox8. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Jon Gruden's Bulge Was Showing Before Last Night's Game
Your morning roundup for Oct. 4, the day we learned where we live made us sick. H/T to Chris. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Tony Siragusa Is A Big Fan Of Jay Feely's Biceps
Your morning roundup for Oct. 3, the day we learned of insect civil wars. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Todd Haley Storms The Cassel: Your Sunday NFL Roundup
Tempers flared in Kansas City as Todd Haley continues to prove that he is who we thought he was. The legend of Megatron grows and the end of the undefeated era in the AFC. All these stories and more, below. ...