up Page 708 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Big Lions Fan: Today's Victory Over The "Pathetic, Subpar" Cowboys Wasn't An Upset
From the looks of things, this fella here is so confident in his Detroit Lions's championship destiny that he's worked up a "Lions To The Super Bowl" report video intro heavy on Creedence....
Stanford Overcomes 99-Point Deficit To Beat UCLA By 26
Your morning roundup for Oct. 2, the day we mull parole eligibility for cannibal ladies. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Listen To The Longest Soccer Goal Call Without A Pause Ever
Your morning roundup for Oct. 1, the day the nanny state says you're no longer allowed to legally fornicate with animals in Florida. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Pussyblocked By Tom Waits!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go. ...
Let's Watch A Soccer Goalie's Epic Fail At Attempting A Clearing Pass
Your morning roundup for Sept. 30, the day we we laughed at Florida, again and always. Video via Goal 100. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
The Photos Of Yankees GM Brian Cashman That Broke Up A Marriage
No, there are no photos of Cashman's actual dong to show you—not that we know of—but now the story of Cash's dong's wayward habits is news. The Yankees general manager's relationship with the woman in these photos has been known or suspected among New York reporters for years, but has been just too ...
All The Baseball Announcers' Big, Joyous Calls Last Night (And Then One By Michael Kay)
Lots of exciting things happened on Wednesday, and for the most part our baseball broadcasters were up to the task. Above, we've compiled their calls of last night's biggest moments. Below, well, listen for yourself. ...
Watch Harold Reynolds And Dan Plesac React To Last Night's Baseball Games Like The Rest Of Us Did
Your morning roundup for Sept. 29, the day we learned rotting fruit was an aphrodisiac. Video via Midwest Sports Fans. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Bosnian Cup Soccer Match Ends With One Team Getting Threateningly Chased Off The Pitch
Tipster Emir C. was not only kind enough to send this video of European soccer-fan violence along, but he provided a historical context for said wilding. To wit:...
Belligerent Galloping Lady Demonstrates The Funniest Way To Use A Treadmill
We can't decide whether or not the belligerent gallop-jog is funnier on loop, as you'll see above, or as a single belligerent gallop-jog, which can be seen here. But this woman definitely eats elliptical girls for breakfast. Our only regret is that the tipster, Marc, did not capture the moment whe...
Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: The End Is The Beginning
It was a frightful beating that gave rise to Deadspin's ongoing search for the meaning of Bartolo Colon—the 38-year-old Yankees starter got knocked out of the first inning against the Blue Jays, surrendering 8 runs (3 earned), an outing so bad it raised questions about the pitcher's very purpose in ...
HOLY SHIT TOM BRADY CUT HIS HAIR
What does that face tell you? He looks guilty to me. Is this some form of self-inflicted punishment? Or is he punishing us? Did Gisele make him do it? Did Belichick make him do it? Did Jesus get jealous and make him do it? Did the Bills make him do it? Did ESPN The Magazine make him do it? Will the ...
The David Justice Lookalike Who Bombed Out Of Pro Baseball And Wound Up Playing David Justice In <em>Moneyball</em>
Moneyball popped into theaters on Friday, and it did well, among critics and audiences alike. The movie's impressive with its depiction of that A's team—fake Chad Bradford conjures up Chad Bradford, fake Jeremy Giambi reminds you of Jeremy Giambi, and so on....
The Additional Rules For How To Cheer Like A St. Louis Rams Fan
Your morning roundup for Sept. 28, the day we learned firewater was real. Video, which is a parody of this, via Joe Sports Fan. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
A Cockroach! And It Was Crawling Across The Field At Cowboys Stadium!
Your morning roundup for Sept. 27, the day we feared the Uniboob. H/T for the video to Brian. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
The Irish Rugby Team Wins One For The Displaced
Chris Benz and Dave Shireley will be filing dispatches from the Rugby World Cup in New Zealand, in the odd moments that they are sober. For a rugby glossary and position guide, click here....
This Evening: Big Papi, Little Pee-Pee
Your p.m. roundup for Sept. 26, the day we learned about spontaneous human combustion. Photo via Mocksession; H/T to Brad. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Ravaged By Irene: Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill Is $73.07 This Month Because Of A $21.00 Stormwater Fee
The former journeyman outfielder only used four thousand gallons of water during the last billing cycle, but Hurricane Irene's deluge in Broward County means that McDowell has an extra $21.00 in water bill fees. Cruel, cruel world....
The Bills Grabbed A Lot More Than A Victory Yesterday Against The Patriots
Your morning roundup for Sept. 26, the day we heard Stephen King read a sequel to The Shining. H/T to Braden for the photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....