up Page 793 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Never Forget
So since it's THAT day, I've decided to re-run this item I wrote for the Emeritus roast extravaganza. This is our anniversary, too. Kind of. Enjoy it again, if you'd like....

The One With The Best Barry Switzer Story EVER
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Triumph Of Will
So many of you sent in photos capturing Leitch's brief cameo on YES (photos sent via computer of a TV screen on which a writer is staring at a computer screen) that we decided to make a pretty gallery. Enjoy!...

Always Be Remembering 9/11 (During NASCAR Blow-Ups)
Down in Richmond, VA, today it's going to be all like, "Always— what?" (Vroom vroom sound effects.) "Always remem—huh?" Yes, the NASCAR 9-11 Ford Fusion is racing today! You will always never forget, until it crashes. (Well? NASCAR!)...

Proud Americans Are Getting Hosed For Ballpark Beer (Never Forget)
Why does baseball hate America? America is beer, and baseball hates beer-lovers....

Bears Begin The Season With Five-Yard Penalty
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Mark Whicker Has Left The Yard Before
The year was 1991. Journalist and ex-Marine Terry Anderson had just been freed after nearly seven years of captivity in Lebanon. Seven years is a long time. Luckily, a columnist named Mark Whicker was around to put it in perspective....

NASCAR Jesus Would Like To Buy You A Bud
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Ron Artest and John Green, Reunited At Last
Sports history was made today when professional crazy man Ron Artest and amateur famewhore John Green called into Detroit's "Drew and Mike" show at the same time, so they could talk about their friendship and simultaneously plug non-existent charity events....

Please Do Not Insult Mike Lupica On Twitter
No matter how ludicrous a Mike Lupica rant might be, it's probably best if you don't call him on it a public forum. Especially if you also work for ESPN: The Conglomerate....

Ray Allen Has The Eye Of The Tiger
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Ron Artest And Palace Beer Thrower Become BFFs
Ron Artest says he tracked down John Green—the Detroit thug who threw a beer at him, sparking the worstfunnest night in NBA history—not so he could throttle him silly, but so they could team up for exciting adventures!...

Naughty Word Appears On Sports Broadcast, And A Snickering Nation Presses Pause
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There is No Difference Between a Lacrosse Brawl and a Regular Brawl
The video below is from Game 1 of the Mann Cup, Canada's national lacrosse championship. The New Westminster Salmonbellies beat the Brampton Excelsiors 12-9, but the real story was the sh*tshow that erupted during the second period. Observe:...

Rampage Jackson Ditches Upcoming Bout to Star in A-Team Movie
I wonder which character he'll play?...

Mariners Skipper Takes Job Title Seriously
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Fire It Up And Get The Skanks, Hoosiers
Football season is upon us, which means that thousands of angry, horny, feisty pretend fans will converge upon this great nation's red cup-littered parking lots to participate in traditional tailgating revelry. These are not those stories....

Kyle Orton Likes What He Sees
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Jason Whitlock Stages His Own Private Sports Media Roast
In his latest, Whitlock uses the occasion of Erin Andrews' Oprah appearance to go all Jeffrey Ross-on-Bea Arthur on his colleagues. Reilly's column: "read by tens of hundreds of readers who find it while looking for Bill Simmons' column." Burn!...

<i>Now</i> College Football Season Can Begin
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