up Page 848 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Kobe's Still Feeling Grumpy
If the Los Angeles Lakers do indeed plan on making some moves to surround Kobe Bryant with some more talent, they might want to speed the process along. Kobe's hanging out in Barcelona, and he's not getting any happier....

What's the Next MLB Promotional Gimmick?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

Living And Dying With Your Team ... Live On Video!
Last week, West Ham United faced potential relegation from the Premiership. It came down to one vital game ... and this man was there to do everything in his power to help his team survive....

ESPN Would Like To Remind You Of Its Omnipotence
Let's say, hypothetically speaking, that instead of watching Game One of the NBA Finals last night, you decided your evening would be better spent watching the MLS game between the Colorado Rapids and the Houston Dynamo on ESPN2. That wouldn't be our choice, but whatever: You just love the MLS and e...

Ducks Fans, Your Decade-Plus Of Suffering Is Over
We congratulate the Anaheim Ducks on their first Stanley Cup title last night. We can't imagine the relief of Ducks fans across the nation, who were able to sleep easy last night, knowing they must no longer fear that they, like their grandfathers and other ancestors, will die without seeing their b...

Is Gene Upshaw Gonna Have To Choke A Bitch?
You might remember, last August, when Bryant Gumbel — that notorious agent of social change — blasted NFL union head Gene Upshaw for being the "personal pet" of the NFL, and that he was kept "on a leash."...

Not Much Hockey Left To Go
After last night's Stanley Cup Finals Game 4, an Anaheim victory over Ottawa to take a 3-1 series lead, it appears that the NHL will remain true to tradition: The Stanley Cup will be presented in Orange County. It seems as if there could have never been any other way....

You Won't See Any Sammy Pahlsson Coverage On Al-Jazeera
we're not gonna make a "nobody watches the nhl" joke ... we're not gonna make a "nobody watches the nhl" joke ......

Our Version Of The Joslyn Morse Photos
Friday, good ole With Leather posted the naked photos of A-Rod's lady friend, and our friends at Fleshbot have them today....

Meet A-Rod's Lady
Today's Alex Rodriguez update: They've got the name of his lady, and she's a former Playboy model. She's Joslyn Noel Morse, and she was in this issue of "Casting Calls."...

NHL Fans Are That Much More Special Today
If you didn't watch the Stanley Cup Finals Game 2 last night — and of course you did — you might have missed this odd shot of Snoop Dogg, who, for reasons unbeknown to anyone but him (and probably not him either), was wearing a fake mustache....

Mark Cuban Has A Thing For Girdle Pads
Finally, a pro football league with second-rate players which plays on Friday nights in places like San Antonio and Sacramento. It's like someone has been recording our dreams!...

A-Rod Has Sexual Urges, Apparently
Remind Alex Rodriguez, once again, why he decided to come to New York? As if matters weren't disastrous enough in The Bronx right now, it appears everybody's favorite sensitive boy has been gallivanting around Toronto with buxom blondes who aren't his wife. We know! We're as shocked as you! A Major ...

Stanley Cup Finals Pants Party: Ducks Vs. Senators
We're taking Memorial Day off, as you've surely noticed — though we're excited LeBron and the Jazz have given us something to pay attention to — but we are doing one post: A preview of the Stanley Cup Finals. They drop the puck tonight at 8 p.m. ET, with the Anaheim (Not Mighty) Ducks against the Ot...

One Series Is Alive ... Can We Make It Two?
As close as this series has been so far, we're just one Pistons victory away from it being totally lopsided. They've been so close on the road, most people believe the Cavs will be able to take at least a game at home. Except for Rasheed Wallace, who would lead you to believe that if the Pistons try...

Hopefully, Tim Duncan Suffers From Cyanophobia
A fear of the color blue is what we're counting on to tighten this series up. The attire of the fans in Salt Lake City is the focus of the AP article previewing Game Three of the Spurs/Jazz series. Everyone in Energy Solutions arena will be decked out tonight in "True Blue" shirts that will, I don't...

The Real Tragedy Is That My Cell Phone Was In There
Well, if your golf cart has to plunge off of a gigantic cliff with you in it, we suppose it might as well be in Fallbrook, Calif....

Yet Another Great Reason To Live In Portland
Before we talk about the disappointment of all the teams who didn't win the first or second pick in last night's NBA Draft Lottery, let's look at the team that did win, the Portland Trail Blazers. (The official favorite team of Henry Abbott at True Hoop, who was at the lottery last night and, amusin...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while decorating your tree fort ... • NBA: If the Spurs keep playing this well, they may sell out a game. San Antonio 105, Jazz 96. • MLB: Griffey's 573rd career homer can't stop the tempest that is the Washington Nationals. • NHL: Daffy is going nuts, Donald is passed out in a corne...

Italy Is Gaining On Us? Inconceivable!
One thing we know about yacht racing: When you change your dock-out song and still lose, it was not meant to be. For the first time in 24 years, there will be no U.S. team in the Louis Vuitton Cup final. Luna Rossa of Italy beat the Americans to clinch the best-of-nine semifinals, 5-1. Yes, we have ...