up Page 849 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Fortunately, Nobody Wants To Watch A Playoff Overtime
As MJD pointed out yesterday, NBC, amazingly, cut away from the Senators-Sabres Game 5 overtime yesterday to show ... the first two hours of the Preakness prerace coverage. That's right: Rather than show the most exciting part of an entire hockey season, NBC chose to show Bob Costas interview people...

Chelsea Are Your FA Champions
It must've been a rough morning for our pal David Hirshey. Not only did Chelsea get a 1-0 win when Didier Drogba scored in extra time, but it came at the end of a game that's been described as "rubbish football" and "cack."...

Hey Everyone! Let's Go Sailing!
America's Cup season is here, so why aren't youngsters crowding the docks for autographs and affixing posters of Oracle CEO Larry Ellison on their walls? We have no idea. Jut take a look at Tuesday's Louis Vuitton Cup semifinal series action from Spain:...

Pity The Poor Buffalo Fan
Heading into the NHL playoffs, the subplot we were most excited about involved the Buffalo Sabres, a team with a long-suffering but rabid — we mean literally rabid; it's in the Buffalo drinking water — fanbase and a No. 1 seed. After they beat the Rangers, it all appeared to be coming together. At l...

When They Think About You ...
Last year, MJD told you about the special World Cup vibrators named after German "stars" Michael Ballack and Oliver Kahn, which promised to make women feel "'like you've won the world cup of sex," which hopefully doesn't involve a head butt....

Paul Azinger Demands The Protection Of Shrubbery
Because it's been far too long since we checked in with the "official blog of GCSAA's Golf Course Management magazine," let's do so now. They decided to follow Fred Klauk, the head superintendent at Sawgrass, around for the day....

NHL Stanley Cup Pants Party: Red Wings Vs. Ducks
We have always found it amusing that Anaheim decided to take the positive modifier "Mighty" out of its name; we know they wanted to avoid the Disney context, but usually when there's a "Fighting" or a "Runnin'" in there, it's supposed to be a good thing. Now they are Ducks, simply Ducks....

NHL Stanley Cup Pants Party: Sabres Vs. Senators
And here, you thought we were completely ignoring the NHL playoffs. To remind you: Canuck please!...

Brewers Fans Are As Excited As A Tiny Puppy
For the first time in many a moon, it is kind of cool to be a Milwaukee Brewers fan. They have the best record in baseball, they're 6 1/2 games up in the National League Central (and they won again today) and they're even tossing in an occasional beanbrawl, just for good measure. And because they're...

The Airing Of Grievances: Curt Schilling Edition
It kind of makes sense that with Curt Schilling pitching only every fifth day, he would then have four days left over for complaining. First on his list is Barry Bonds. When asked on WEEI's "Dennis and Callahan" radio show if he thinks Bonds' home run totals are tainted, Schilling said:...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after giving away your horse ... • NBA: Eastern Conference semifinals, Chicago at Detroit, Game 1; Western Conference semifinals, Golden State at Utah, Game 1. Here we go again, Warriors fans. [TNT] • NHL: Western Conference semifinals, Detroit at San Jose, Game 6. Feeding Frenzy in th...

Yet Another Way ESPN Makes You Gassy
You thought your life was caused enough pain every time you went to the gas station these days? (We still don't have a car, but it makes our heart ache every time we even look at a gas station anymore.) Well, it's about to grow far, far worse: Now, at certain gas stops, you're gonna have to hear rum...

Poor Mario Got Strung Out On Mushrooms
So a rockin' sports Saturday morphed into a pretty lazy sports Sunday that was redeemed only recently by an excellent Spurs/Suns game that featured over 215 points and several gallons of Steve Nash's blood. The Spurs did hang on to take Game One....

Floyd Mayweather Jr. Is An Ass Doc
While we're all still basking in the glow of that one horse's victory, we've NBA playoffs, including a Game 7, and then Game 1 between arguably the East's two best teams. In addition, there's a Nextel Cup race, NHL playoff action, and of course, De La Hoya vs. Mayweather. Punching each other in the ...

Nothing Beats A Toupee Mullet
A story we've been wanting to write for sometime involves the sad plight of the toupee maker. We don't know anyone under the age of 40 who would ever wear a toupee again; these days, it's easier just to shave it. Nobody minds, everyone understands, it even looks kind of cool. But there are hundreds ...

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

OK, Get Up, Walk It Off
We don't mean to imply that maybe four-year-olds shouldn't be on the field during college football scrimmages ... but yipes....

Somedays, Being A Sports Fan Is No Fun At All
We find that the best way to truly appreciate how much fun and liberating being a sports fan can be is to remember the truly awful days, the days where everything goes wrong and falls apart, the times when you wonder why, exactly, you put yourself through all this. We used to call this "Days When Ja...

NBA Roundup: Goodbye Regular Season. Goodbye
Notes on Wednesday's games in the National Basketball Association ......

Gene Upshaw Would Rather You Not Read Anyway
As anyone with even a fundamental understanding of professional sports labor issues knows, the NFL has the weakest players union. NFL players have the shortest careers, make the least money, suffer the harshest long term health effects and rarely have guaranteed contracts. This has caused many — and...