uri Page 163 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

People Flock To Online Porn During NFL Bye Weeks. Fact.
Bye weeks bring NFL players some rest. They also offer porn sites tens of thousands of NFL fans with six or more hours for their indiscriminate use. And oh, the things they do with them....

Greg Oden, Part-Time Athlete, Full-Time Knee Wrecker, Is Out For The Season
Greg Oden, 82-game, 22 year-old veteran, announced today that he is surrendering another NBA season to have microfracture surgery on his left knee. It's considerate of him, really. At least he's disappointing Blazers fans a little bit earlier this year!...

Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s Kicking Spree Ends With Marco Materazzi Being Hospitalized
We warned you this would happen. Since giving Rodney Strasser a shoeing in training, old Zlatan has grown a worrying taste for showcasing his mad Taekwondo skillz at the most inappropriate moments....

Denver Broncos Remain 2-6 After Stripping D.J. Williams Of Captaincy
Denver Broncos "star linebacker" D.J. Williams (left) forgot to turn his Hummer headlights on Friday morning. Johnny Law suspects he was drunk. So, Williams is no longer team captain. Aw....

Remember The Time Peyton Manning Helped Chris Hanson Catch A Predator?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Cops Using Steelers Van As Bait
Constables in Western Pennsylvania have had a tough time getting people to open their doors to serve them with arrest warrants. Solution: lure 'em out with the old black and gold....

Former NFL Player Dave Meggett Sentenced To 30 Years In Prison
Meggett was a running back and punt returner for three NFL teams between 1989 and 1998. He has a long history of sexual assault. On Wednesday, he was convicted on charges of criminal sexual assault and burglary. [AP]...

High School Basketball Coach Tries To Whip Team Into Shape, Literally
A belt-wielding coach and the Jackson (Miss.) public school system have been named in a federal lawsuit filed by three players on the Murrah High School basketball team who claim coach Marlon Dorsey physically and verbally abused them....

Now We Know Where Grady Sizemore's Coffee Mug Dong Shots Came From
When an athlete's self-taken nude photos get out, they always claim it's because someone hacked their computer. This might be the first case where it turned out to be true....

Braylon Edwards Won't Be Punished This Year
Prosecutors say they're discussing a possible plea deal in Edwards's DWI case, but his next court appearance isn't until January after his lawyer requested more time to file motions. Maybe he'll be suspended for some two-a-days in August. [Star-Ledger]...

Murder Suspect Arrested At NBA Game
State and federal agents wanted to arrest a wanted for murder quietly and somewhere where bystanders wouldn't be in danger, so they did it the emptiest place they could: a Bobcats game. [Charlotte Observer]...

Is Jim McMahon's Brain The NFL's Worst Public-Relations Nightmare Or Best Apologist?
Back in his playing days, the only quarterback who has ever led the Chicago Bears to a Super Bowl victory was feisty enough to wear a headband when told he couldn't. Probably a four-game suspension today....

Feds Indict Former NFL O-Lineman In Money-Laundering Scheme
Former San Diego Charger and New Orleans Saint Jeffrey Lynn Walker was the focus of an FBI press release this week. That's always good, right?!...

Russian Lady Hockey Fans Encouraged To Enter "Swimsuit Contest"
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Fight Makes High School Soccer Playoffs Watchable, Gets Parent Arrested
Last Friday's Burlington-Essex soccer game was marred when an Essex parent, Mirko Samardzic, fought a Burlington high school official. Between the racism and the public brawls, Vermont truly is the Mississippi of places you can go skiing. [Burlington Free Press]...

REVEALED: Pages From Jose Mourinho’s Match Tactics Book
Those of you who study Real Madrid manager Jose Mourinho closely will have noticed that, when he isn't chewing gum, yelling, or shooting smouldering looks at people, he likes to write a lot of stuff in his Real-branded notepad during matches....

Stories That Don't Suck: David Halberstam On Maurice Lucas And The Powers That Be Scared Shitless
Occasionally, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: the late Maurice Lucas, menacing the whistle right out of a ref's mouth....

Remembering Maurice Lucas
Charlie Pierce reminisces about the late Maurice Lucas, former Blazer, hero of Halberstam's The Breaks of the Game, Weather Report fan, half-naked fencer....

Judge Rules In Death-By-Training-Wheels Case
Last April, an 87-year-old Manhattan woman was hurt when two 4-year-old racing bicycles along a sidewalk hit her. Three months later, the woman died of unrelated causes. This month, a court said her estate could sue a preschooler....

Uribe's Homer Helps Lead Giants To Game One Victory, California Smokers To Free Doobies
A medical marijuana dispensary in San Francisco is offering patients free joints every time a Giant hits a home run in the World Series. Commendably, Tim Lincecum was still in the dugout immediately following Juan Uribe's fifth-inning blast....