uri Page 53 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?<em></em>
It’s here! It’s finally here! Every year it seems like the big day will never come, but it’s here. It’s the day to gather with your family and friends ‘round the hearth, warm beverages and sweet treats at the ready, and have a hearty chortle over the things America stuck inside itself and couldn’t r...
Demaryius Thomas Carted Off With Torn Achilles
Texans WR Demaryius Thomas’s season is over. In the fourth quarter of the Texans game against the Eagles, Thomas crumpled to the ground in agony after planting his left foot, and he had to be taken off the field on a cart. Because it was a non-contact injury, he seemed to know how bad it was immedia...
Cowboys DE Tyrone Crawford Hospitalized After Suffering Scary Neck Injury
On the second play from scrimmage in this afternoon’s Bucs-Cowboys game, Dallas defensive end Tyrone Crawford went down with a scary injury. Crawford, a defensive captain, appeared to take a shoulder to the head from his blocker as he rushed the quarterback, and he crumpled to the ground. The stadiu...
Report: Patriots Created A Security Team To Prevent Josh Gordon From Relapsing
When the New England Patriots traded for wide receiver Josh Gordon back in September, they obviously were aware of the potential risks—that much was clear with how little the team gave up for him. The understanding of Gordon’s addiction and mental health concerns didn’t stop there, however. A repor...
NBA Officials Ruined Two Great Posters With Two Soft Techs
Jaylen Brown and Lauri Markkanen each had an incredible posterizing dunk in their games on Friday night. Each player looked at their respective victims and gave a slight flex in victory over their athletic accomplishment. Shortly after, each player was assessed a technical foul for their “unsportsma...
Oh Wait, Never Mind, The Rockets Are Dead Again
The resurgent Rockets lost by two points in Miami Thursday night, but here’s what you need to know: they were up eight points in the second quarter when Chris Paul suffered another hamstring injury and had to leave the game. After the loss—which, to be fair, came on the second night of a back-to-ba...
José Mourinho's Failed Tenure At Manchester United Is Finally Over
After two-and-a-half bad and boring seasons at Manchester United, the club announced today in some euphemistic language that manager José Mourinho has been tossed out on his ass. This decision to get rid of Mourinho is both overdue and yet still surprising, which says so much about the ruinous state...
Swiss Skier Hospitalized After Horror Crash At World Cup Downhill
Thirty-year-old Swiss skier Mark Gisin was hospitalized on Saturday after losing control on the Saslong downhill course and crashing down the mountain during a World Cup downhill run. After multiple nasty bumps down the course, he laid motionless on the snow before medical personnel could get to him...
Report: Carson Wentz Has A Fractured Vertebra
Eagles QB Carson Wentz has been dealing with back issues all season, and after undergoing a battery of tests earlier this week, he apparently has been diagnosed with a fractured vertebra. ESPN’s Adam Schefter got the scoop, and the injury seems like it will probably keep him out at least this weeken...
Thomas Müller Sent Off For Karate-Kicking Opponent Upside The Head Like A True Maniac
Bayern Munich will advance into the Champions League knockout rounds atop their group after a wild draw with Ajax today that saw two red cards within eight minutes of each other and four goals after the 82nd minute. Bayern had to score their equalizing and go-ahead goals without Thomas Müller on the...
It Must Suck So Hard To Be A Manchester United Fan
Try, if only for a moment, to go inside the mind of a Manchester United fan....
What The Hell Happened With Ben Roethlisberger On Sunday?
Sunday’s loss to the Tankin’ Grudens has sent Yinzer Nation into a full-on panic. The Steelers are still in first place in the AFC North, but they’re only a half-game up on the Ravens and they’ve lost three straight after a 7-2-1 start, with the Patriots and Saints up next. But what’s had every Greg...
Reports: Alex Smith's Leg Surgery Led To Serious Infection
It’s been nearly two weeks since Washington quarterback Alex Smith had emergency surgery after breaking his tibia and fibula in a game against the Texans. Smith had his surgery on Nov. 18, and now it’s been revealed that complications from that surgery have left him fighting an infection and that he...
Markelle Fultz's Shooting Form Diagnosed With Nerve Condition
Raymond Brothers, the agent of broken prospect Markelle Fultz, announced that the Philadelphia 76ers guard has been diagnosed with neurogenic thoracic outlet syndrome (TOS), according to ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski....
Bill Belichick Got Into It With Adam Thielen
Down two scores and with about nine minutes remaining, the Vikings picked up what looked like a fourth-down conversion—but it was close. Minnesota hurried to the line to try to get the next play off before the Patriots could decide whether to challenge the ruling, but safety Patrick Chung dropped to...
![A.J. Green Carted Off After Non-Contact Foot Injury [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/lyelivht9yths1yes5k2.gif)
A.J. Green Carted Off After Non-Contact Foot Injury [Update]
A.J. Green was forced to leave the Bengals’ game against the Broncos on Sunday after suffering a non-contact foot injury early in the second quarter. Green began to attempt a double-move at the start of the play and went down when he realized something was wrong with his foot. The receiver had to be...
Markelle Fultz Shooting Form Update: Shoulder Investigation Continues
One week ago, Markelle Fultz’s agent and attorney Raymond Brothers announced that the struggling Sixers guard would sit out a week of action to see a bunch of specialists in New York, who could presumably help with his interminable right shoulder injury. A sad update on the prognosis: The work conti...
Akron And South Carolina Will Play The Most Meaningless Game Of The College Football Season
On Wednesday, the University of South Carolina was compelled to issue a clarification regarding the tickets it was planning to give away for this Saturday’s home game against Akron at Williams-Brice Stadium. Yes, the upper level tickets were indeed free as reported but no, and this part was importan...
Dwight Howard Needs A Buttectomy
Okay, fine, probably it’s not a buttectomy. But it’s at least a buttotomy or a buttopsy. The butt pain that has kept Dwight Howard out of all but nine Wizards game this season will reportedly require surgery:...
Here's A Fair Way To Pay College Athletes For Their Labor
At the end of October, federal prosecutors succeeded in proving something that every college sports fan alive already knew. With the help of FBI wiretaps, defendants Jim Gatto, Merl Code, and Christian Dawkins were found guilty in federal court of wire fraud and conspiracy to commit wire fraud. The...