uri Page 59 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Old Man Wayne Rooney Suffers Dearly For That MLS Life
Wayne Rooney scored his first MLS goal Saturday night, in his fourth match with DC United. The goal came in the 33rd minute of United’s match at home against Colorado—after the ball sort of chaotically pinged around in the midfield, United triggered a quick attacking move and Rooney finished it off ...
Aaron Judge Fractured His Wrist But Stayed In Long Enough To Hit A Single
Aaron Judge got plunked by a fastball up and in on Thursday, suffering a “chip fracture” on his right wrist. He will be out a minimum of three weeks, according to the Yankees....
Larry Fedora's Football Crusade Is About Culture War, Not Science
A well-respected neuropsychologist once told me he thought the media was getting the concussion stuff all wrong. The headlines are all bad, he lamented, all the “Football is killing kids” doom-and-gloom stuff. His entire professional life, he reminded me, had been dedicated to treating concussions, ...
Daniel Poncedeleon Will Make His Major League Debut 14 Months After A Horrifying Injury
Cardinals pitcher Daniel Poncedeleon will be called up by St. Louis today and start tonight’s game against the Reds, making his big-league debut little more than a year after an injury suffered on the mound put his career—and maybe his life—in jeopardy. “Talk about a comeback story,” new Cards manag...
If When You Do What Is Right And Suffer For It You Patiently Endure It, This Finds Favor With God; Tim Tebow Lands On Disabled List
Future Mets savior—and possible capital-S Savior—Tim Tebow landed on the disabled list Saturday after suffering a hand injury earlier in the week. Per a WBNG report:...
Pole Vaulter Nearly Makes Shish Kebab Of His Dick And Balls
At the IAAF Rabat Diamond League track meet in Morocco today, pole vaulter Timur Morgunov’s pole skewered the front of his shorts. His dangly bits narrowly and luckily remained intact....
Photographer Tackled By Celebrating Croatian Players Got Incredible Photos, Kisses
During yesterday’s World Cup semifinal game between England and Croatia, a sideline photographer for Agence France-Press, Yuri Cortez, found himself at the bottom of a Croatian team dog pile after the got knocked over during Croatia’s celebrations for Mario Mandzukic’s extra-time, game-winning goal....
Oh God, I Hope This Freak Accident Doesn't Derail The Daniel Cormier-Stipe Miocic Superfight
Daniel Cormier and Stipe Miocic are going to fight this weekend! It will be the first clash between two active UFC champions in years! Fans have endured barren cards in places like Utica and Singapore while waiting for this genuine superfight! It should be great! Unless of course, uh, Daniel Cormier...
The Results Of Taking A Fastball To The Nuts Are As Horrifying As You Can Imagine
Today’s column is about Yadier Molina’s exploded nuts....
The NFL Concussion Settlement Keeps Failing People It's Supposed To Help
On Thursday, the federal judge overseeing the NFL concussion settlement denied an appeal filed by the family of a deceased former player with CTE. Under the terms of the settlement, that CTE diagnosis could have been worth as much as $4 million. The reason for the denial? The player’s family missed ...
Angels Rookie Pitcher Jake Jewell Carried Off On Stretcher After Awful Ankle Injury
Angels pitcher Jake Jewell, making only the third MLB appearance of his career, suffered a brutal injury on his right ankle Wednesday night while trying to slide into home for a play at the plate with Boston’s J.D. Martinez....
Little-Known Icelandic Soccer Player Becomes Social Media Sensation Due To His Sexiness
Coming into the World Cup, not many people had heard of Icelandic winger Rúrik Gíslason. Then he stepped onto the pitch as a substitute for an injured teammate during his country’s match against Argentina and the whole world realized that he is hot as hell....
Cubs Reliever Brandon Morrow Says He Hurt Himself While Taking Off His Pants
The Cubs didn’t use closer Brandon Morrow in either of their games Tuesday against the Dodgers, instead relying on a bevy of other relievers. He would’ve been really helpful in the first game, which the Cubs lost 4-3 after Justin Wilson blew a 3-2 lead in the ninth. According to the team, the reason...
World-Class Doofus Hunter Strickland Out For Two Months After Punching A Wall<em></em>
Giants reliever Hunter Strickland was very definitively Not Mad while exiting the eventual San Francisco loss last night. On his walk back to the dugout after blowing his team’s lead, Strickland exchanged words with Giant-killing Marlins outfielder Lewis Brinson after Brinson both tagged Strickland...
Javier Fortuna<em></em> Falls Out Of Ring, Is Removed On Stretcher By Paramedics; Opponent Says "He Was Looking For An Excuse"
Dominican super lightweight Javier Fortuna left his bout in Texas tonight against Adrian Granados on a stretcher after tumbling out of the ring and appearing to hit his neck or head on something ringside. Curiously, (skeptical?) Showtime commentators immediately started speculating about rematch pos...
Morocco Player Physically Restrained From Re-Entering Game After Bashing Head Against The Ground
Moroccan midfielder Nordin Amrabat had to come out of today’s group stage match against Iran after slamming his head into the ground in the 72nd minute. Before eventually being subbed out, a clearly wobbly Amrabat had to be prevented from going back onto the pitch by two trainers....
Miguel Cabrera Done For The Season With Ruptured Biceps Tendon
Miguel Cabrera left Tuesday’s loss to the Twins in the bottom of the third inning with what was initially described by the Tigers as a left biceps tendon strain. Cabrera took a looping cut on a Jake Odorizzi off-speed pitch and immediately winced and grabbed his bicep before walking into the dugout ...
Bryce Harper Roughed Up And Bad-Mouthed In Comprehensively Rotten 24 Hours
C.C. Sabathia of the dastardly New York Yankees pegged dear Dinger Lord Bryce Harper in the funny bone in the top of the fifth inning Tuesday, with two men on and the Yankees clinging to a 2-0 lead. Scum! Murder most foul!...
St. Louis Jury Sticks Rams With $12.5 Million Bill For Reggie Bush's "Concrete Ring Of Death" Injury
St. Louis’s Edward Jones Dome—now the Dome at America’s Center—was a piece of crap football stadium for many reasons, just one of which was a wide warning track of concrete that ran around the stands and presented a hazard for be-cleated football players whose actions and momentum occasionally carri...