US Open Page 16 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

<em>Arnold Palmer And The Golfin' Dolphin</em> Might Be The Best Golf Book Ever Written
There were a few Arnold Palmer threads during this weekend's U.S. Open that sparked the mind of Slate's Josh Levin. So he was reminded of Arnold Palmer and the Golfin' Dolphin, P. Bryon Polakoff's 1984 masterpiece. Thank the lord. Listen up and learn how dolphins golf, and more, on this week's exc...

Tiger Woods Is Still A Head Case
Through the first two rounds of the U.S. Open at Olympic, Tiger Woods looked a lot like the Tiger Woods we saw at Torrey Pines in 2008, when he beat Rocco Mediate in a full-round Monday playoff despite a double stress-fracture in his left tibia.* That was also Tiger's last major championship. By nig...

The U.S. Open Trophy Ceremony Videobomber Is A Deforestation Activist Named "Jungle Bird"
The roosterlike fellow who invaded last night's U.S. Open trophy ceremony and earned a scolding from champion Webb Simpson has been identified as a kooky deforestation activist named "Jungle Bird."...

Golf Has A New "Cigar Guy"
Remember Cigar Guy? There's a new member of the stogie-sporting clan, and this one's garbed in what appears to be a tribute to the late Payne Stewart. We only saw this one glimpse of him, and frankly his expression leaves a bit to be desired; even worse, he was at best the second-weirdest person at...

Webb Simpson Wins U.S. Open, Has Trophy Ceremony Invaded By Squawking British Man
Webb Simpson seized his first major title on a U.S. Open Sunday rife with errors in play by all competitors. At times, it looked more like the Albert Achievement Awards than a professional golf tournament, but by far the weirdest moment came after play ended when a man garbed in Union Jack colors...

Beau Hossler Is Young, Has A Missing Caddy
On the third hole of the final day at the U.S. Open, our teenaged Beau hit a shot into the sand. He would get on the green on his next shot, though likely gritting his be-braced teeth—what with all the sand and aggravation. His caddy then went to clean up after him in the bunker. But, it appears h...

Beau Hossler Is Young, Has Braces
As we await the final round of the 2012 U.S. Open, the story of the week has been the young amateur Beau Hossler. He is a 17-year-old junior from Santa Margarita High and he is tied for eighth, four off the lead. There's a lot to say about a performance like this on a course that is humbling the be...

Chris Berman At The U.S. Open: "I'd Rather Sit In The Corner Of A Deserted Warehouse And Slug Rats"
Chris Berman, the sentient sports fan's favorite punching bag, spent the last two days ruining the U.S. Open, according to many. Operating brains everywhere were firing off questions like "Why?" and "Is ESPN trying to kill me?" Probably not, but It is, of course, a symptom of the larger problem a...

A Frustrated Sergio Garcia Smashes The Shit Out Of An ESPN Microphone
Garcia came up short on a short par-3 this afternoon at Olympic — a bad shot, but not that bad — and took out his frustrations on the microphone embedded near the tee. Garcia is four over through 36 holes, just in under the projected cut line....

The USTA Will Make The U.S. Open The Most Fogeyish Grand Slam Tournament
For years, the U.S. Open was the antidote to Wimbledon and Roland Garros' fussiness (the Australian was basically just irrelevant and a big Whatever). At the Open there were ungodly late matches, bigger stadiums, the made-for-TV scheduling bonanza in Super Saturday, loud music, longer commercial bre...

Who Will Win This Year's U.S. Open? Probably Someone You've Never Heard Of
Golf's major tournaments just haven't been that interesting lately. Over the last 17 majors, there have been 16 winners. In theory, this could be nice! A little diversity, a little surprise. But since Tiger's sabbatical, we've lost any hope of narrative. Individual sports thrive on story lines, riva...
![Rick Reilly's U.S. Open Column Is 18 Years Out Of Date [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17pgascdl4p66png.png)
Rick Reilly's U.S. Open Column Is 18 Years Out Of Date [UPDATE]
The U.S. Open is this weekend, and the best thing about the tournament is that just about anyone can enter. The worst thing about the tournament is also that just about anyone can enter. Thousands of golfers, from seasoned pros to Sunday duffers, take part in qualifying rounds, and if they're good e...

Jim Nantz Is Getting Married At Pebble Beach Today
"Hello friends and welcome to the 2012 Jim Nantz Wedding At Historic Pebble Beach Golf Links. Phil Simms will be with us in a few moments." This magnificent vista will host the marriage ceremony for Jim Nantz and Courtney Richards. It is the seventh hole at Pebble Beach and will make for some lovel...

Celebrating Serena Williams, Tennis Traditionalist
Serena Williams revived an old tradition in tennis in Flushing last night. She said some petty things to the chair umpire because she was angry and because she wanted to win—and because when you are not winning in a sport as lonely as tennis, there is only one person you can blame that is not yourse...

Once Upon A Time, Serena And That Same Chair Umpire Laughed Off Her Hindrance And They Replayed The Point
...And everyone lived happily ever after, until last night in Flushing....

Before Losing The U.S. Open Finals, Serena Williams Told The Umpire She Was An Unattractive Hater
Wow. Before Serena Williams got done wasting 73 minutes of everybody's time in losing the U.S. Open 6-2, 6-3 today, she made sure to tear into the chair umpire for a whole bunch of things related, and not related, to being issued a court violation for yelling at the opposition. Poor thing....

Watch Novak Djokovic Steal The U.S. Open Crowd, Momentum And Semifinal Match From Roger Federer
Momentum in sports, if you believe it exists, which I do, is a fickle thing. Take today's U.S. Open semifinal match between Roger Federer and Novak Djokovic, for instance....

Your U.S. Open Semifinals Open Thread
Weather permitting — and it's expected to do just that — both the men's and women's semifinals will be played in Flushing Meadows, NY today....

This Evening: The Guy In The Blue Shirt Behind Brooklyn Decker Would Like You To Know He Plays With Himself
Your p.m. roundup for Sept. 8, the day we learned a cow had died in Brooklyn. H/T to Brad for the U.S. Open photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
