us Page 1043 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Stableford: Roddick Federized
Dylan Stableford is the editor of media blog FishbowlNY and will write occasionally on the U.S. Open....

Stableford: Sharapova Fingered In Bananagate
Dylan Stableford is the editor of media blog FishbowlNY and will write occasionally on the U.S. Open....

Get Thee To A Newsstand (Or SI.com, At Least)
Though we grew up thinking he was the the best sportswriter on the planet — and one of our favorite journalists anywhere — we'll confess souring somewhat on Sports Illustrated scribe Gary Smith in recent years. His writing was still top-notch, but it was beginning to become repetitive. He'd either w...

Stableford: Week 2 Matches Not Featuring Grown Men Sobbing
Dylan Stableford is the editor of media blog FishbowlNY and will write occasionally on the U.S. Open....

NFL Pants Party: AFC South
Because the season starts, oh, tomorrow, we figured it was probably time to start laying out some of the predictions for you, division by division. So here's a quick roundup of predictions from around the series of tubes we call the Internet....

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Marcus "New Mexico" Vick
We can't take credit for the beauty that is Ron Mexico, because it came before our time, so we can only have fun with the next best thing: His little brother Marcus, who has the most fun you can possibly have without actually having herpes....

Jeff George Was Fun While He Lasted
It might be the most talented class of roster cutdowns in NFL history. Charlie Rogers, Najeh Davenport, Ron Dayne, Lee Suggs, Marcus Vick, and quite sadly, Jeff George, were all released yesterday as NFL teams had to get down to the 53-man roster limit....

The End For Andre Agassi
As the match was being played and it became evident that Andre Agassi didn't have the legs or the back to take down Benjamin Becker, I couldn't help but think it shouldn't end this way. It should've ended in either a championship, or in front of am unsilencable primetime crowd in a 5-set marathon...

Image Is Everything To James Blake
When I was a young tike, I thought Andre Agassi's flourescents were about the coolest thing in the world. Much of my self-esteem was derived from owning a pair of the shoes pictured at the bottom of this poster, even if I couldn't get them until long after they were considered cool. Okay, I'm wea...

If We Know Anything, It's That You Can't Beat The Greeks At Basketball
Looks like The Mighty MJD won his bet. We glumly welcome you this morning with the news that Team USA lost to Greece 101-95 in the semifinals of the World Basketball Championships....

Nebraska Is Looking At The World Through Fly's Eyes
If you've ever been around a light source in the middle of an expanded Midwestern landscape of soybeans and chubby cows, you know you've got to be wary of Them Bugs. Them Bugs will attack you in intense droves, and they will do so without warning. A bug zapper will help, but just a little: There's n...

Do Not Draft Domanick Davis, People
Those of you who still haven't done their fantasy football drafts, you might want to pay attention, so you don't make the same mistake we've made, oh, twice already....

NFL Season Preview: Houston Texans
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people paintin...

Somehow, These Guys Weren't A Big Hit In Pittsburgh
The Pittsburgh Pirates were having a fireworks night at PNC Park on Thursday. They beat the Astros and the whether was nice, and everyone was having a good time. Until Me First and the Gimme Gimmes took the stage....

Australia Gets Their Beatdown
Team USA buried a big Paul Hogan-style knife into the Australian national team last night, winning by 40 in a game that wasn't as close as the score would indicate. Carmelo had 20, Joe Johnson 18, Dwyane Wade 15, and Shane Battier and Chris Bosh had 12 each....

And The Lord Said: 'Matches Shall Be Two Out Of Three Falls. And No Gouging.'
We're not sure at which sports the Son of God excelled (the Bible is curiously silent on the issue), but we just bet He would have been a ferocious wrestler. Heights Baptist Church in Beech Island, S.C., apparently agrees, which is why they started a "Wrestling For Jesus" ministry three years ago. A...

Very Few Of Those 1.3 Billion Are Good Basketball Players
Team USA got back to their ass-romping ways this morning, beating China by a score of 121-90. Despite the presence of Yao Ming, China's not that good of a team. Really, they're probably the most poorly-equipped team to play the United States; they prefer (an unathletic) man defense, and their guar...

As Far As Wins Go, That Was Pretty Uncomfortable
It's just the first game, and a win's a win, but I'm not going to do any victory dances when we give up 100 points to Puerto Rico, either. Team USA did win by a score of 111-100, but they never really pulled away, they never dominated for a stretch longer than a couple of minutes, and they never rea...

We're Only 99 44/100ths Percent Pure, Ourselves
The woman on the left in this photo is Danika Schroeter. She finished second in the Canadian downhill mountain biking championships last week, finishing just one second behind Michelle Dumaresq. Dumaresq is the woman in the middle. The lady on the right ... we don't know who the lady on the right is...