us Page 1044 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Team USA Rolls Lithuania
After a narrow 90-86 escape over Brazil, Team USA got back into their winning habits, cruising to a 111-88 win over Lithuania. Seven USA players scored in double-digits: Caremlo Anthony, Dwyane Wade, Joe Johnson, Kirk Hinrich, Antawn Jamison, and Chris Paul. Lithuanian center Ksistof Lavrinovicius d...

Four Tiny Tidbits On: Conference USA
We must confess that we can't wait each year for the crunch of shoulder pads; for cleats churning up chunks of turf, and red-faced coaches screaming from the sidelines. But enough about lacrosse. College football season is upon us, and to celebrate, we're going to get back into tiny tidbit mode and ...

The Closer: The Fragile Psyche Of Roger Clemens
Notes from a day in baseball:...

That Confused Guy You See, That's Matt Doherty
Anybody wondering what former North Carolina men's basketball coach Matt Doherty has been up to? Anyone? Well, you might know he's coaching at SMU (and apparently already dealing with some NCAA violations). But did you know he was also embracing "new" "technology?"...

Reggie Bush Might Beat Your Ass In A Mall
The fine folks at TMZ, after months of accosting celebrities as they drunkenly walked out of clubs, finally had their breakthrough last week with the Mel Gibson "sugar tits" story, which not only horrified Jews and Gentiles alike, but also ruined a classic pickup line forever. They're all over the p...

Arash Markazi's Outstanding Expense Account
If you've ever worked in the field of journalism, you know that, when it comes to travel arrangements, the media could use better travel agents. They almost always wait until the last minute to approve trips, which inevitably causes the price to be double or triple what it should have been. It's v...

USA Basketball Barely Escapes (And We Don't Mean "From China")
We don't mean to ruin it for those of you who had your Brazilian Tivos all set up, but USA Basketball just had its first serious scare in preparation for the World Championships, edging Brazil 90-86. The Americans led by 14 at halftime, but Brazil — led by the immortal Tiago Splitter — closed it lat...

Free Darko, Live On Scene, And Loving Jim Gray
Generally speaking, we think it's silly for online writers — who are the only ones free from the PR/press pass/everybody-play-nice circle jerk of commercialized athletics — to salivate over press passes as if they had, at last, been invited to the ball. But we will make an exception when the folks f...

Evidently, Larry Flynt Is In The Basketball Court Painting Business
I'm a little disappointed in myself that I didn't notice this. What you are looking at is the court on which Team USA drubbed Puerto Rico last night in an exhibition basketball game. And, as was noted at sethgunderson.com, the lane looks a little... well, penile....

Making Tall Men Play Basketball, Poorly
And with this poorly scored video, we introduce you to the phenomenon known as Sun Ming-Ming, who is currently with the Dodge City Legend of the USBL. He is seven-foot-nine, which makes him the tallest man in professional basketball and the seventh tallest man in the world....

The Uniforms That Made Baseball Cry
It was Retro Day at Petco Park on Thursday, which probably doesn't mean much to you if you weren't a baseball fan in the 1970s. But for those who lived through those dark, confusing times, you have our sympathy, and we're sorry you had to relive the horror. We've all seen pictures such as the ones...

Yao Ming's Big, Big Stand
Houston Rockets center Yao Ming doesn't just spend his offseasons taking a stroll or two around the track. He also spends it saving elephants by swatting away bullets heading toward them directly out of the air. See, he's not just tall; he's made of some sort of indestructible material....

Boeheim Must Have Had Some Hand In This
We don't mean to imply that the Syracuse football team might not be so good this year, but they have a wide receiver who is five-foot-four. We think our family dog is taller than that....

Americans Continue To Lead The World In Mysteriously Tainted Urine
The world's fastest man, Justin Gatlin, has failed a pee-pee test, and, stop me if you've heard this before, claims he didn't do anything wrong. Both his 'A' and 'B' samples came up positive for unusually high amounts of synthetic testosterone....

Reggie Bush Finally Gives In To Fans With Lame Signs
It seems like Reggie Bush's holdout garnered a lot of attention for a something that ended up lasting a grand total of two days. Many of you had more contentious negotations while trying to get laid this weekend. And as soon as he scores his first touchdown, no one's even going to remember that ther...

Keith Van Horn's Contribution To Society Has Been Judged More Valuable Than Yours
We all know and have long ago accepted that professional athletes make too much damn money, but nothing hammers that point home quite like peeking at SI.com's list of the 50 highest-earning American athletes in sports and seeing Chris Webber, Michael Finley, Jason Giambi, and Stephon Marbury all in ...

The Peter King-KSK Standoff
The rockers over at Kissing Suzy Kobler would like to let you know that they are reasonable people. All they want out of life is to make a few humorous comments about sports, go home to their families and perhaps enjoy a Krispy Kreme. Or three. But even reasonable people can be pushed to the edge, a...

It's Not Easy For Canadians To Win Golf Clubs
So here's something funny and obscure that a reader just pointed out to us. This week, Sports Illustrated subscribers — like ourselves — were treated to a special promotion with Callaway Golf. Basically, you send in a contest card, and if you win, you get a X460 Driver and two X Fairway Woods. We ...

OK, Maybe Everyone Should Boo Dusty
OK, we understand that he had thrown a lot of pitches, and that he had walked five guys, and that the score was 0-0 and that he has been injured enough to need to be coddled a bit....

New Team USA Looks Like Old Team USA
The preliminary/final/tentative/whatever they're calling it roster for USA Basketball has been set, and the talk continues to be about how "cohesive" and "team-oriented" the new roster is. (It helps when you have a leader who just happens to coach basketball.)...