us Page 509 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Rockets Have Nothing For Kevin Durant
The Rockets had a plan. They were going to force Steph Curry to defend James Harden one-on-one, stick longer defenders on Curry to harass him on the perimeter, use Clint Capela’s length to disrupt Draymond Green’s pick-and-roll maneuvers, and pounce on any defensive lapses by kicking it out to their...
The Warriors Are Better Than The Rockets
Look. If we are being honest with each other, here, let’s acknowledge what we all know: The Rockets are 100 percent dead in this series, have virtually no chance whatsoever even to push it to a seventh game, and could spend Game 2 jump-kicking each other in the face for all the good they can do by e...
My Favorite Subplot Of Winnipeg-Vegas Is People Trying To Hit Dustin Byfuglien And Getting Demolished
Jets defenseman Dustin Byfuglien is a big boy. Listed at 6-foot-5, 260 pounds, I would call him an immovable object if not for the fact that he’s usually moving toward you. And it’s gonna go badly for you....
Warriors Edge Out The Rockets In The Game 1 Everybody Expected
In a game that saw the two best teams in basketball each play exactly how you’d expect them to, the Golden State Warriors beat the Rockets in Houston, 119-106, to take a 1-0 lead in the Western Conference Finals. Despite the best efforts of James Harden and his 41 points, the Warriors managed to exp...
Greg Hardy Will Make His Pro MMA Debut On UFC Contender Series Show Next Month
Former NFL player Greg Hardy will fight fellow former NFL player Austen Lane on June 12 in a heavyweight bout. The two will meet on Dana White’s Tuesday Night Contender Series, a show run by the ruddy UFC czar in which amateur fighters and others fight for a (non-guaranteed) chance at a UFC contract...
The Israeli Soccer Team Renamed After Donald Trump Has A History Of Open Racism Against Arabs
Beitar Jerusalem received some press Sunday when the Israeli soccer club announced that it would change its name to “Beitar Trump Jerusalem” as a gesture of appreciation for President Donald Trump for moving the U.S. Embassy to Jerusalem. (Today, Trump’s daughter Ivanka and son-in-law Jared Kushner ...
LIVE: We're Simulating Tonight's Warriors-Rockets Game In <i>NBA Live 96</i>
Haha! Yes! We are back at it, tirelessly updating rosters from 22-year-old video games in order to bring you these highly accurate simulations of upcoming basketball games. WE ARE LIVE:...
Let The Cool Players Try To Trash Each Other
Here is a thing that happens way too often in the NBA: Two teams with stars at the same position face each other and, instead of the cool stars checking each other, so that they are competing directly at both ends of the floor, the coaches assign various other designated defenders to do the job of g...
Israeli Professional Soccer Team Renamed After Greasy Huckster
The new U.S. Embassy in Jerusalem will be opened with a big ceremony on Monday. Ivanka and Jared will be there! I am not here to offer commentary on this development—it is deeply unpopular with basically the entire rest of the world, much like just about everything else the Trump administration has ...
Has Vladimir Putin Lost His Scoring Touch?<em></em>
Nothing lasts forever, not even the reign of hockey star Vladimir Putin, known worldwide as one of the great goalscorers of our generation. Putin, who is also the president of Russia, has cleaned up in an annual “Legends of Hockey” game for years, and the scouting report on him is simple: the dude c...
The Rockets Aren't Fun To Watch
Spend a few days away from the drumbeat of dipshittery and various dreary outrages of Online and something happens to your brain. A bunch of things, actually, but I am thinking of one particular one—the mind, even the most web-damaged mind, returns to something like a normal state. This is not to sa...
Potential 2018 NBA Finals Outcomes, Ranked
1. Cavaliers def. Warriors...
Darren Rovell Tries To Explain Economics To Marvin Jones, Gets Dunked On
“Actually,” Darren Rovell probably smirked as he adjusted his bowtie before lecturing a celebratory Marvin Jones, who had just tweeted about a bakery franchise he is opening with his wife, “it’s more complicated than you think.”...
The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Guy's Insane Two-Finger Push-up
Don’t let the chest, arm, and shoulder strength distract you from the physical marvel that is his fingers not snapping under the stress....
Let's Remember Some Guys: Random Cards Mailed To Our Office Edition
The internet is lonesome and atomizing and weird, which is strange when you consider that Bringing People Together is the one aspect of its ostensible promise that is unquestionably a success. It’s probably not the internet’s fault that, having been brought together, everyone just immediately starte...
The Rockets Better Not Fuck This Up
The Houston Rockets and Golden State Warriors wrapped up their five-game eliminations of, respectively, the Utah Jazz and New Orleans Pelicans last night. Like the series they ended, neither game was particularly closely contested; both losing teams did just enough to preserve their dignity and no m...
Jozy Altidore's Foot Surgery Could Put His World Cup In Dange—Oh Wait Goddammit
In a better world, the news that Toronto FC and USMNT striker Jozy Altidore’s underwent foot surgery yesterday would’ve been awful. Oh Christ, you would’ve thought to yourself after seeing the Altidore news in this hypothetical world where the weather’s a little nicer and your parent company is a li...
What It's Like To Navigate The NFL's Concussion Settlement Hellscape
George Andrie has always been a devoted father to Mary Brooks and her six siblings. But with the benefit of hindsight, Brooks also sees that something was always a bit off about her dad, going back to when she was a child. The outgoing guy she always knew suddenly became less socially engaged in the...
Chris Paul Stuck The Dagger In The Jazz
Chris Paul is advancing beyond the second round for the first time in his NBA career, and he did so by putting the Rockets on his back for their 112-102 Game 5 win against the Jazz. Paul got a new playoff high of 41 points, with 10 assists, seven boards, and no turnovers. And after Jazz rookie Donov...
Police Say Parents Pretended Their Kid Had Cancer So He Could Meet Syracuse Football Team
The world—okay, people on the internet—okay, some people in and around Syracuse—were touched by the story of C.J. LaFrance, a 9-year-old with Hodgkin’s lymphoma who was able to visit the Orange football team last August and hang out at practice. Police now say parents Martin and Jolene LaFrance fabr...