us Page 555 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Whether He Meant To Or Not, Houston Nutt Got Spectacular Revenge
Put simply, Houston Nutt won. Put more colorfully, Houston Nutt is a mad man and, my God, if anybody out there has slighted him, their best bet is either fleeing the country or submitting defeat before it’s too late....
Trump's New Lackey Says The President Is So Good At Sports<em></em>
This morning, beleaguered and incompetent White House press secretary Sean Spicer resigned and went off to the great briefing room in the sky in protest of the White House’s hiring of hedge fund guy Anthony Scaramucci as communications director. Scaramucci gave his first address to the press today, ...
Carmelo Really Wants To Go To The Rockets
It’s no secret at this point in the NBA offseason that Carmelo Anthony is over playing his basketball for an irradiated wasteland of an organization, the New York Knicks are equally done with Carmelo Anthony, and the Houston Rockets would like to help both parties out of their predicament by trading...
Why Was Possible Sex-Doer Hugh Freeze Allowed To Redact His Phone Records?
Hugh Freeze quit his job as head coach at Ole Miss tonight for reasons nobody wanted to describe other than saying they involved “moral turpitude.” Part of the narrative, though, at least for tonight, includes Freeze’s phone records, which show a one-minute call to an escort service. According to a ...
Hugh Freeze Resigns After Reportedly Calling Escorts From Ole Miss Phone
After spending more than a year under investigation for NCAA violations, Ole Miss head football coach Hugh Freeze has resigned....
<i>Real Sports </i>Talks To Crazed Chechen Warlord Ramzan Kadyrov About MMA And War
HBO’s Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel sent correspondent David Scott to Grozny, Chechnya to tell the story of Ramzan Kadyrov, the Chechen warlord running his private fiefdom with an iron fist thanks in part to the strategic use of MMA and soccer. Kadyrov is the most powerful man in his small corner o...
USMNT Win 2-0 Despite El Salvador's Biting And Nipple-Tweaking
The USMNT cruised to a 2-0 victory in tonight’s CONCACAF Gold Cup quarterfinal despite the fact that El Salvador repeatedly treated players like you might have treated your little brother....
USMNT Takes Healthy Halftime Lead Thanks To Two Unlikely Heroes<em></em>
The USMNT leapt out to a 2-0 first-half lead over El Salvador thanks to goals from two unlikely players. Despite Jozy Altidore and Clint Dempsey lining up together as a striking partnership, the scoring came from defenders Omar Gonzalez and Eric Lichaj....
On The Second Day, Carlos Beltrán's Glove Rose From The Dead
Two days ago, the Houston Astros gathered to lay Carlos Beltrán’s glove to rest. The erstwhile outfielder hadn’t played defense in more than two months, spending his days as a designated hitter instead, and the team put together a nice little ceremony with a priest (Brian McCann), a coffin (a shoebo...
A Field Guide To Boston Sports Radio Chowderheads
Every day, it seems, a different Boston sports radio dipshit is delivering a take from a time when segregation was acceptable, getting attention for being five seconds away from challenging a listener to a parking lot fight for Tom Brady’s honor. Although you may not pay attention to these awful stu...
Go Ahead And Enjoy Christian Pulisic Tearing Shit Up In A Meaningless Game
I’m not going to tell you that Christian Pulisic’s performance in today’s Borussia Dortmund-AC Milan friendly—in which he conjured two assists, won a penalty, and eeled his way past famously big and bad Serie A defenders more times than you could count—means that the Wonderteen is primed to take the...
The Skins Really Couldn't Have Played This Kirk Cousins Situation Any Worse
The first thing you notice, once you look a little more closely into the Skins’ attempt to gain the high ground on Kirk Cousins, is that in the video meant to smear the quarterback as unreasonable, team president Bruce Allen repeatedly calls him “Kurt.”...
Bruce Allen Explains Why He Didn't Sign "Kurt" Cousins
Kirk Cousins did not get a new contract before the NFL’s franchise tag deadline passed this afternoon, which means he’ll play the 2017-18 season on a one-year deal before becoming a free agent next summer. Washington president Bruce Allen detailed the team’s effort to lock up their QB, claiming that...
The Astros Have Laid Carlos Beltrán's Outfield Glove To Rest
After a career in the outfield, Carlos Beltrán has lately been spending his days as a designated hitter—now 40 years old, he hasn’t played in the field since May 16. (This despite the fact that he’s hitting .231/.289/.408 on the season.) Apparently, the Astros collectively subscribe to a belief syst...
No Contracts For Kirk Cousins And Le'Veon Bell. Now What?
The NFL’s franchise tag deadline came and went at 4 p.m. ET with no new contracts for Washington quarterback Kirk Cousins, Pittsburgh running back Le’Veon Bell, and Rams cornerback Trumaine Johnson. If you’re wondering what that means for them and their teams, I can explain....
The Rockets Are For Sale
If you have a few billion dollars lying around and want to own a good NBA team, now’s your shot....
Is The Uptick In Blisters Another Sign Of A Juiced Ball?
Blue Jays pitcher Marcus Stroman caused a bit of a kerfuffle this month when he talked about why so many pitchers are getting blisters this season. A few weeks ago, after being pulled from a game because of an oncoming blister, Stroman told reporters:...
Good Reporting Isn't Impossible—It's Just Hard<em></em>
This morning, Buzzfeed dropped a spectacular, sadly unsurprising story in which Jim DeRogatis further detailed the unsettling sex life of 50-year-old R&B singer R. Kelly, who was acquitted on charges of child pornography in 2008 and is now, according to DeRogatis’s report, running an “abusive cult” ...