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MLB Suspends Bryce Harper One Game
MLB has fined and suspended Nationals outfielder Bryce Harper for one game for “his actions” after he was ejected in Monday’s game against the Tigers. Harper will appeal....

A Russell Westbrook Rebound Is An Event
If you watch enough sports, you learn to anticipate when something cool is about to happen. You know what’s coming after Steph Curry spins his defender with a bouncing crossover beyond the three-point line, or when Adrian Peterson gets a safety one-on-one in the open field, or when Chris Sale works ...

Dwight Howard Tells <i>Inside The NBA</i> Why People Don't Like Him
Dwight Howard and his Rockets got bounced by the Golden State Warriors a few weeks ago, and since then, he’s been quiet about whether or not he’ll opt out of his contract and leave to test free agency. He’s been linked to four teams, but after the ignominious way his team appeared to quit in the pla...

Somehow, The Thunder Are A Game Away From Bouncing The Spurs
The San Antonio Spurs had a historically great regular season, whipped the life out of the Oklahoma City Thunder in Game 1 of the Western Conference semifinals, but somehow they’re just one game from elimination after the Thunder beat them 95-91 thanks to a rugged performance from Russell Westbrook ...

Report: UFC Owners On The Verge Of Selling For $4 Billion
According to a report from ESPN’s post-human business lad Darren Rovell, the owners of the UFC are in “advanced negotiations” with at least four potential buyers regarding the sale of the promotion. The UFC is owned by (mainly) the Fertitta brothers and (also) Dana White and the government of Abu Dh...

Jose Altuve Can Do It All
The Houston Astros have been one of the most disappointing teams in baseball this season, sitting last in an AL West they were expected to dominate. The pitching staff has been giving up too many runs and even ace Dallas Keuchel’s stats are down across the board (beard’s still good at least). But Ca...

Ballboy Passes Out, Faceplants
Venus Williams was just starting out her opening-round victory over CoCo Vandeweghe in Rome at the Internazionali BNL d’Italia, when this here ballboy took a dive and fell straight on his face after apparently overheating. Our man will presumably live to ballboy another day after his friends carried...

We Have Found It, The Place All Hot Takes Are Born
Deep in the heart of Take Forest, at the peak of Mt. Take, lies the source of all takes....

The Thunder Need Kevin Durant To Hulk Out
The story of yesterday’s Game 4 between the Spurs and Thunder is obviously Kevin Durant, who led the Thunder to victory with 41 points and outscored San Antonio 17-16 in the fourth quarter. But just as important as all the shots Durant made were all the shots Russell Westbrook didn’t take....

How To Kick Ass During Your Jesus Year
Certain ages have established talking points. At 25, there’s the quarter-life crisis, which is false, but gets you thinking about the banal inexorability of aging. At 27, you talk about rock stars who died before they could get old and embarrassing, because you desperately don’t want to, either. (“G...

How Will Bryce Harper Deal With The Barry Bonds Treatment?
Bryce Harper hasn’t logged an official at-bat in his last 11 plate appearances. He was walked a grand total of 13 times during a four-game series against the Cubs, and set an MLB record by reaching base seven times in Sunday’s game without recording an at-bat: He was walked three times, intentionall...

Aroldis Chapman Still Says He Did Nothing Wrong
Aroldis Chapman returns to the Yankees today after serving his 30-game domestic violence suspension, but the fireballing reliever has yet to take much responsibility for the incident that landed him on MLB’s banned list....

PSU Prez Slams "Unsubstantiated" Accusations From Alleged Sandusky Victims
Penn State president Eric Barron responded to revelations that Joe Paterno may have known about Jerry Sandusky’s abuse of children as early as 1971 and that as many as six of Paterno’s assistants personally witnessed Sandusky molesting children with an angry open letter declaring that the stories “s...

Check Out Some Candid 2010 Pre-Draft Assessments By Oakland Raiders Scouts
Solid evidence has surfaced online that the Oakland Raiders have staffers who evaluate talent, and moreover, that they sometimes know what they’re talking about. A post up on Imgur this weekend purports (credibly, it seems) to have the Raiders’ pre-draft evaluations from 2010. It’s not a huge galler...

![Pittsburgh Riverhounds Player Suspended For Kicking The Shit Out Of Opponent [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/pamilrcoc85ysbayvcqy.gif)
Pittsburgh Riverhounds Player Suspended For Kicking The Shit Out Of Opponent [UPDATE]
The Pittsburgh Riverhounds are likely to lose their leading scorer for a long time, as Romeo Parkes earned an incredible red card by kicking the shit out of Red Bulls II player Karl Ouimette late in last night’s USL match....

CNN: Sandusky Victim Says Joe Paterno Ordered Him To Drop Accusation
CNN’s Sara Ganim reports a man who says Jerry Sandusky raped him in 1971 claims to have been ordered to drop the accusation by Joe Paterno himself....

NBC: As Many As Six Penn State Coaches Witnessed Jerry Sandusky Molesting Children
As many as six Joe Paterno assistants personally witnessed Jerry Sandusky abusing children, NBC News revealed today. That report comes on the heels of testimony given in Penn State’s lawsuit against its insurer revealed this week, alleging Paterno knew of Sandusky molesting children as early as 1976...

Carlos Gomez Calls Out Columnist For Quoting Him Poorly
On Wednesday, the Houston Chronicle’s Brian T. Smith wrote a column about Astros outfielder Carlos Gomez’s slow start to the season. Aside from curiously singling out Gomez—rather than, say, the struggling pitching staff (Ken Giles has a 9.26 ERA!)—as a big reason the Astros are stumbling early in t...

Boca Juniors Keeper Gets Knocked Out, Stays In Match
Boca Juniors keeper Agustín Orion appeared to be knocked out after taking a blow to the head in the first half of his team’s Copa Libertadores match against Cerro Porteño tonight in Buenos Aires, but stayed in the match after several minutes of laying motionless on the pitch....