us Page 623 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jets Tackle D'Brickashaw Ferguson, Who Missed One Snap In 10 Years, Retires
According to ESPN’s Rich Cimini, New York Jets tackle D’Brickashaw Ferguson has decided to retire after playing 10 NFL seasons. Ferguson, 32, hasn’t commented publicly on his decision, but Cimini cites a source who said Ferguson “just felt it was time.”...
Failure Artist Sam Hinkie Produces His Masterpiece
Professional engineer of failure Sam Hinkie quit the Philadelphia 76ers last night via a batshit, borderline incoherent, hilariously self-congratulatory 13-page resignation letter, inadvertently rendering into generous flattery every joke made at his expense over the three years he spent failing at ...
And Now, A Dramatic Reading Of Sam Hinkie’s Batshit Resignation Letter
Sixers GM Sam Hinkie unexpectedly resigned yesterday and left behind a rambling, legitimately nutzoid 13-page letter that I hope will serve as a giant blinking warning sign to any future employer of his, be it an NBA team (fat chance) or an investment firm or the sales force at Lyft, which is where ...
God, I Love Watching Tobin Heath Humiliate Defenders
For some, it’s probably difficult to pick a favorite USWNT player, what with our overflow of world-elite talent all over the place, and especially at striker, where our backup’s backup’s backup would most likely start for any other national team in the world. For me, though, the answer’s pretty easy...
Carlos Correa Slapped A Massive Donger
While maybe not as visually impressive as Giancarlo Stanton’s Mars shot, because dead center at Yankee Stadium is a long long way away, Carlos Correa’s home run last night in last night’s 16-6 loss was the most impressive of the young season....
Here Is Sam Hinkie's Full 13-Page Letter Of Resignation To The Sixers (UPDATES)
Earlier tonight, we asked you to give up the full 13-page letter that Sam Hinkie sent to the Philadelphia 76ers as he resigned. None of you did, but ESPN’s Marc Stein thankfully just posted it in its entirety....
Hey, James Harden Made A Good Defensive Play!
We often clown on James Harden for his agnostic indifference to defense. It’s jarring to watch him imitate a statue or pick the absolute worst time to ask his buddy about something in an NBA game full of NBA players. I’m sure he also makes plenty of good defensive plays (Basketball Reference is tell...
Report: Sam Hinkie Has Left The Sixers (UPDATES)
Per ESPN’s Marc Stein, Sam Hinkie has stepped down as the general manager of the Philadelphia 76ers (unless he in fact had some different post with “Philadelphial”?)....
RIP Merle Haggard, The Only Man Who Could Live Up To The Name
Ah, Christ, Merle Haggard died, shit. On his 79th birthday. He was one of the greats. You know this for two reasons. First off, objectively, he just was, an acerbic and jovially iconoclastic teller of hard truths and winsome lies, a prickly charmer and actual outlaw (he once attended a Johnny Cash c...
Peanut Butter Is Your Salvation In a Jar
“This advice can be fatal,” wrote Dr. Henry J. Heimlich to the New York Times in 1981, protesting their suggestion to pregame with peanut butter to curb overeating. “We have records of persons choking to death after eating peanut butter off a spoon. The problem is that the thick substance becomes lo...
Breanna Stewart Is A Woman Of Her Word
To nobody’s surprise, the UConn women’s basketball team finished its perfect season with an 82-51 victory over Syracuse in last night’s national championship game. If you’re the kind of jerkass who is constantly looking for reasons to slag women’s college basketball, you could point to UConn’s wire-...
Reports: Entire Russian U18 Hockey Team Replaced Before World Championships Due To Failed Drug Tests
The IIHF World U18 Championships begin in Grand Forks, N.D., next week, and the Russian team was set to fly out tomorrow. Today it was revealed that the head coach has been fired and the entire roster will be replaced because too many players tested positive for the recently banned substance Meldoni...
Yankees Protest Game Over Confusing Baserunning Call
I, for one, am excited that 2016 has kicked off as the season of baserunning controversies. ...
You're Gonna Need More Than Two Defenders To Stop Boogie Cousins From Dunking On You
The Kings are playing at home tonight, which means they are not resting DeMarcus Cousins and desperately trying to lose their way into keeping their pick this year. This is good news for you and me, and bad news for Al-Farouq Aminu and Mason Plumlee, who got dunked on thoroughly by Young Boogie here...
Giancarlo Stanton Sent This Justin Verlander Pitch To Goddamn Mars
Justin Verlander didn’t allow a hit through five innings to the Miami Marlins this evening, but once Miami woke up (presumably because Barry Bonds dispensed a few pieces of sage wisdom), they really started hitting the dogpiss out of the ball. ...
Marcus Paige's Shot Deserved Better
A truly remarkable sports play can meet no crueler fate than to have its significance snuffed out by an even bigger play moments later. Marcus Paige’s game-tying three with four seconds left joins Tim Duncan’s prayer and Jermaine Kearse’s circus catch in the sad fraternity of indelible but ultimatel...
Villanova Wins National Championship On Buzzer-Beater
Villanova erased Marcus Paige’s heroism after Kris Jenkins hit a three-pointer at the buzzer to earn the Wildcats a national championship....
Justin Bieber, Carrie Underwood, The Weeknd, And More Iso Vocals From Last Night's Awards Shows
While you were busy watching Wrestlemania or The Walking Dead or something, a pair of second-tier awards shows aired—one sponsored by a bullshit media company tied into this weekend’s Final Four, and the other just another one of country music’s 184 occasions upon which to celebrate itself. We picke...
Marcus Stroman Isn't Talking To You, Man
I wanted to be grouchy about MLB scheduling three games yesterday, because I’m one of those extremely cool guys who believes Opening Day should be on a Monday and every team should play. And yet, it was hard to be in a bad mood while watching 24-year-old Marcus Stroman dice up the Rays....
USMNT Players Ether Abby Wambach
USWNT legend Abby Wambach has had a rough stretch of late. If you recall a few months ago, Wambach had some very dumb thoughts about foreign players representing the USMNT. This weekend, she was arrested and charged with a DUI. And after that news broke, the USMNT’s Alejandro Bedoya tied both incide...