us Page 648 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Astros Three-Hit The Yankees To Advance To ALDS
With the Astros unable to clinch a spot in the AL’s Wild Card game until the final day of the season, they didn’t have the luxury of setting up their rotation for the playoffs. Staff ace Dallas Keuchel, who is a leading candidate to win the AL Cy Young, had to pitch on Friday, but still Astros manag...

Landon Donovan Says USMNT Shouldn't Take Klinsmann To The Next World Cup
The last time the public got to stick the thermometer into the Landon Donovan-Jürgen Klinsmann beef, we learned that the meat was still cooking. In a new interview, Donovan’s thoughts about Klinsmann’s shaky recent record and what that should mean for the manager’s job security show that yep, this b...

Root For The Astros In The Playoffs
It’s no longer the baseball preseason. Time to get your ass fired up for the regular fall season of America’s Pastime. Read all our playoff team previews here. Today, you’re getting to know … THE HOUSTON ASTROS....

UConn Kid Refuses To Leave Cafeteria Until He Gets Mac And Cheese, Gets Arrested
What happens when a college student’s desire for bacon jalapeño mac and cheese inhibits his mind and overwhelms his rationale? Justice rains down upon him....

Martellus Bennett Has The Quote Of The Year About Jay Cutler
Jay Cutler returned from a strained hamstring to tough out a close win over the Raiders. Coming off last week’s debacle in Seattle, it’s almost enough to make the average Bears fan thankful for a competent quarterback. Almost. But hey, talk radio would’ve savaged Jesus too. Right, Martellus Bennett?...

NASCAR Driver Austin Theriault Airlifted After Head-On Wreck To Unprotected Wall
Tonight’s NASCAR truck series race at Las Vegas featured some early, scary fireworks after a head-on crash featuring driver Austin Theriault. The portion of the wall with which Theriault made contact was, according to on-air reports, not protected with a SAFER barrier. Theriault was airlifted to a l...

You Can Take Yo La Tengo To A Mets Game, But You Can't Make 'Em Do The Wave
Credit where credit’s due: The New York Mets are very good this year, and they wholeheartedly earned the NL East title. But given the team’s habit of historic late-season collapses—recall, for example, when they blew a sturdy seven-game September division lead in 2007 by losing 12 of their last 17 g...

Ronaldinho Can't Play Soccer Anymore, But He Can't Stop
Watching Ronaldinho in his prime—nipping the ball around defenders with moves you’d either never seen someone pull off in real life or at least never, say, against some of the world’s best defenders, in the middle of the sport’s fiercest rivalry, in front of 80,000 opposing fans, with supporters so ...

Royals Broadcaster Perfectly Predicts Mike Moustakas's Home Run
With Mike Moustakas facing an 0-2 count in Wednesday night’s game, Fox Sports Kansas City announcer Ryan Lefebvre claimed that the Royals third baseman would not only get a curveball from White Sox pitcher Jose Quintana, but crush it for a home run into Kansas City’s bullpen. “He’s gonna sit on a ha...

Get Your Ass Off Mars: <i>The Martian </i>Is A Thrilling, Crowd-Pleasing Science Problem
1. The Martian will make you feel better about America, about the goodness of your fellow man, about the limitless possibilities of human achievement. That it’s also rooted in hard science (or at least a movie’s version of hard science, which is close enough), that all its surprises and accomplishme...

SMU Basketball Banned From Postseason, Head Coach Larry Brown Suspended Nine Games
The NCAA just hit the Southern Methodist University men’s basketball program with some heavy sanctions, including a one-year postseason ban, scholarship reductions, vacation of wins, and a nine-game suspension for head coach Larry Brown. This is all happening because an NCAA investigation revealed t...

There Are Officially No More Excuses For Not Running A Personal-Best Marathon
Kenyan Eliud Kipchoge proved in Sunday’s Berlin Marathon that he is the classiest human to ever lay down 26.2 miles at an average of 4:44 per. About 10 miles into the race, the insoles of his custom Nike racing flats slipped out halfway and stayed there for the remaining 16 miles, flapping like tong...
![Cardinals' Stephen Piscotty Taken Off Field On Stretcher After Violent Outfield Collision [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1451290959678350887.gif)
Cardinals' Stephen Piscotty Taken Off Field On Stretcher After Violent Outfield Collision [UPDATE]
Rookie Cardinals outfielder Stephen Piscotty is headed to a hospital after a collision in the seventh inning of tonight’s game against the Pirates left him motionless near the warning track for several minutes....

English Rugby Star Clear To Play After Knocking Opponent Out With Kick To The Head
England flanker Tom Wood is free to play in his squad’s next match against Australia after Rugby World Cup officials determined his knockout kick to Welsh fullback Liam Williams to be a minor offense. The incident took place during Saturday’s 28-25 Wales upset....

EL-P On The New Cat-Rap Classic <i>Meow The Jewels</i>: "It's A Lonely And Strange Thing"
Embrace the moment: One of the most feverishly anticipated hip-hopalbums of the year is finally here, and it’s made up almost entirely of sampled cat sounds. It’s called Meow the Jewels, and you can download it for free right here, and its backstory is now the stuff of internet (and cat) lore. It st...

Three Images From The Bears Game (So We Never Have To Speak Of It Again)
Already deeply flawed and lacking the injured Jay Cutler, the Bears weren’t expected to do much against the Seahawks. Chicago managed to surprise, though, accomplishing even less than that....

Syracuse Punter Hurdles LSU Defender On Fake Field Goal
Syracuse punter Riley Dixon leapt over an LSU defender for a first down late in the first half as the Orange attempted to take a shocking lead over LSU with a fake field goal:...

José Altuve Leaves Game After Injured In Collision
Look away, Astros fans....

Lance Berkman Cites Random Men In Women's Bathrooms As Reason To Keep Discriminating
On Nov. 3, the city of Houston will vote on Proposition 1, an ordinance which would protect Houston residents from discrimination in work, public spaces, or housing. Retired MLBer Lance Berkman is against it because he doesn’t want men in women’s bathrooms. That’s not a joke. Watch the ad, paid for ...

15 Years Ago, Vince Carter Jumped Over A 7-Footer And Dunked The Shit
Exactly 15 years ago today, Vince Carter jumped over 7-foot-2 French center Frédéric Weis and dunked the ball at the 2000 Sydney Olympics. You remember, right? Right....